Jesus Told Me He Wants Me to Blog More

In the fifty-second year, in the third month on the third day, as I was checking my Google Analytics, I looked, and behold, I saw a light brighter than the noonday sun, and the voice of one like the Son of Man spoke to me from within.

“I see you have a blog.”

“Yes, Lord, you know that I do.”

“How’s the traffic?”

“Good, Lord–though, without you, which of us would get but a handful of pageviews.”

“Stop that. I have a job for you. I want you to blog more.”

“Oh Lord–you who rule the internet with wisdom and justice–who am I that you should be mindful of the humble state of your servant? Yet, if it is your will, Oh Lord, that many more will hear, let it be done.”

“I told you to stop that. Now listen. I want you to blog more–for you.”

“…not sure I follow….”

“Frankly, I hate the internet, but you seem to like it. So, I want you to blog as much as possible because blogging gives you all sorts of opportunities to practice.”  

“Practice what? Formulating my thoughts in under 800 words? Coming up with catchy titles? Learning the craft of writing?”

“No, not remotely. Blogging gives you chances to practice what I mean when I say ‘follow me.’”

“Oh, is this about me needing to be more orthodox. Because if it is…I mean, listen…all this is hard to figure out, and I’m doing my best, but those Southern Baptists and Neo-Calvinists just drive me….”

“No, it’s not about what you say (although sometimes you do weird me out a bit). It’s about what happens after.”

“You mean checking the statistics all evening while I’m watching 3 hours of Big Bang Theory, because I can try to tone that down. I thought of giving it up for lent.” 

“You know me better than that. I’m all into inner transformation, not a check list of does and don’ts.”

“That’s a relief.”

“No it’s not. This is much harder. I want you to blog a lot to so you can begin to work on all that garbage inside of you that surfaces every time you post something.”

“What garbage?”

“Well, for one, you can work on not hating people who disagree with you.”

“I don’t ‘hate’ people who disagree with me.”

“Come off it. You  practically have to tie yourself to the neighbor’s mailbox to keep from firing off a ‘response’ to negative comments, and even if you stop yourself, you brood about it. And, on the other side, you feel warm and glowy inside when someone thinks your posts should be collected, trimmed with gold, and inserted between Jude and Revelation. Here’s the question you need to learn how to answer: what is going on inside of you that generates those kinds of reactions?”

“I don’t know. Sin?”

“Bravo, but this isn’t a theology exam. What you need to do is the hard work of seeing yourself more clearly, and there’s no better way to get at that than to find those things that make you either very angry or very happy and take them apart bit by bit until you get to the bottom of why. When you get there, then you’ll know what sin really means. If blogging happens to be the doorway into your deep down self, I’m good with that. I’ve worked with less.”

“You sound like a therapist.”

“You sound like you need one.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to like this.”

“That right there already tells you something you need to know. Welcome to the journey.”


And then, as if waking from a dream, I got ready for the day, poured some coffee, and pondered these things.

First of all, there is no conspiracy. A review of “Patterns of Evidence: Exodus” (1)
“Patterns of Evidence” and patterns of culture-war rhetoric: (2)
On God, Shooting Children, and Still Having no Answers
Honor Your Head, Don’t Live In It. (or, I Think I’m a Protestant)
  • Jeremy Myers

    Is that you, God?

    Just kidding. Great post. The critics are the hardest to deal with, but it is all part of apprenticeship, right?

    Guess I’ll spend tomorrow blogging.

  • Gioia Morris

    Brilliant!! :)

  • Tim Sams

    Nothing will ruin a day or an evening more than writing and rewriting a response to a fellow believer’s comment (OK, I wanted to use the term “pinhead” but maybe that is a little harsh). You take on some entrenched points of view on this blog and it naturally generates “discussion”. However I have always admired your restraint and clear responses. Keep up the good work.

  • Laura Truax

    So true. I malign the critics and coddle the praisers.
    Great post. Uhm, hope it doesn’t go to your head.

    • peteenns

      Too late :-)

  • Mike Freeman

    I was waiting for the great sheet of virtual paper to be lowered from heaven, filled with all kinds of bloggers clean and unclean, and then the Voice, “Rise, Peter. Blog and love.” Thanks, Peter for opening your heart here so I can see my own so very clearly. Even if for just a moment…

  • chaplain mike

    You have slain me with the words of thy pen. I repent in dust and ashes.

  • Eric

    Pete, I didn’t know where you would end up with this post, but I rather like it. Humorous, but challenging. Thank you. It was inspiring. May God continue to work out the junk in our hearts through whatever means necessary. As I have said before many times… I truly want to be more like Jesus.

  • Keith Johnston

    Greetings Dr Enns,
    If Jesus did not tell you to “BLOG MORE” then HE should have. Here’s why: I am in a class at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley called “Islam in the Public Square” One of the people in my class is a convert to Islam from fundamentalist Christianity — he went to some two-bit school in the South that got their materials from Bob Jones University. If he was at all a thinking, feeling human being, he was going to have to leave that particular brand of religious nonsense behind (seven-day creationism, inerrant King James Bible, pre-trib rapture, hatred of gays and Muslims, Republican-only politics, I Left Thinking Behind, etc.). I am not sure what attracted him to Islam, but given that there are now in the United States more Muslims than there are Presbyterians, perhaps the followers of Islam in the United States are doing something right. It is important for persons like you, O Wise One, to help provide those of us who desire to be thinking, feeling human beings with a form of Christianity that is not addicted to unthinking, unfeeling modes of religiosity and is more like what Jesus would say and do if He were physically around in this post-Christendom world. Thank you for all of your efforts in this regard.

    • peteenns

      I appreciate that, Keith. More Muslims than Presbyterians? Hmm. I wonder why they doesn’t make it into the brochures.

    • Paula

      ” If he was at all a thinking, feeling human being, he was going to have to leave that particular brand of religious nonsense behind (seven-day creationism, inerrant King James Bible, pre-trib rapture, hatred of gays and Muslims, Republican-only politics, I Left Thinking Behind, etc.).”

      So then… since I’m a 7-day creationist and pre-trib rapturist, I must be a non-thinking, non-feeling human being?


      So, God, did I handle that scathing condescension well?

  • rvs

    I saw a funny Big Bang Theory meme today: Sheldon is talking to Leonard: “If either of us ever invent time travel, we agree our first stop will be this meeting today in precisely five seconds.” Oh that’s good stuff. Thanks for the provocative, challenging remarks above.

  • Lise

    My favorite blog posts of yours are not theory based. They aren’t when you’re being a scholar. They are when you are being raw, authentic and funny, i.e. “Driving through San Francisco: I’m Better Than You!” and the post drawing on recollections about your dad to make a theological point. Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and a place for intellectual discourse. But hey. Jesus spoke in parables and stories. It’s the medium that makes me sit up and listen. It’s the terrain where the Big Man pierces into our hearts and where the ego gets left at the door.

    • peteenns

      In my distorted brain, the two live in the same room.

  • Graham

    Thats put a smile on my face, just what I needed at half 6 in the morning :)

    It should be illegal to ponder without coffee :)

  • Gerald Rau

    Ah, yes, the response. Something that each of us who writes in whatever capacity needs to remember. I think you summed it up brilliantly: brooding or warm and glowing, what is going on inside of you that generates those kinds of reactions? Here’s what’s going on: “But that’s my baby! How dare you say my baby is ugly?/Of course I know she’s beautiful, she looks just like me, let me show you another dozen pictures.”

    • peteenns

      Great analogy, Gerald. [By the way, did anyone at IVP ever get a hold of you re: me interviewing you on your book?]

  • Jon Hughes

    Christ Jesus came into the world to save bloggers; of whom you are chief. :)

    • peteenns

      Hehe. That’s a keeper.

  • Stephen W

    When you’ve figured out why you hate people who disagree with you, let me know…

  • Jon Hughes


    Serious point: Considering where you’ve come from and what you’re saying, I’m amazed at how positive and supportive the majority of commentators are on your blog.

  • Mark Farmer

    Totally cracked me up. Still grinning.

  • SCP

    I am the only one that couldn’t help but here the god narrative above in the voice of Morgan Freeman??

    • SCP

      Sorry… hear, not here

    • Neil N

      Yes, voice of Morgan Freeman, but spoken similar to that of the god in Monty Python’s Holy Grail!

  • Swartzendruber

    Yes, Pete – blog more, and respond to email :-)

  • Jon G

    Too Funny! Thanks, Pete!

  • Casey

    Love it. Great post. And really, please keep blogging and writing – i have an M.Div and too many books for my own good and your work is right at the top of books that have helped (and really saved) my faith.

  • Mike Sangrey

    Funny. Jesus told me the same thing about READING blogs.

  • Terri

    Thank you for taking risks and for never taking yourself too seriously. Or at least making it funny when you take yourself too seriously.

  • Mike Nichols

    You and Pat Robertson! ;)

    I think that I (and others?) would benefit from having a little dialog with Jesus on a regular basis. Bravo for an inspiring post.

  • Luke Breuer

    Pete, wouldn’t the proper message be that you ought to respond to blog comments more? :-p

  • Steve

    Does that mean you’re going to stop responding to people you disagree with? Because I really think that’s an important part of what you do!

  • mickholt

    I liked this post a lot. I believe that writing, personal writing, of any kind leads – well can – to all kinds of self discovery.
    Thank you.

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  • Craig Vick

    I’m not sure you listened to this message. I haven’t seen a post for a while. I’m just kidding, of course.