God is not registered to vote in New Hampshire

Taegan Goddard points us to this Bloomberg story, noting that no less than four of the contenders for the Republican nomination are on record as saying they were called by God to run for president.

The Almighty has reportedly called Texas Gov. Rick Perry, former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann and businessman Herman Cain to run for the same office at the same time. (Bloomberg’s Francis Wilkinson drily notes that “Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich appear to have mortal political consultants.”)

Several explanations suggest themselves for how four candidates for the same office came to believe they were called by God to do so. It’s possible that at least three of them are mistaken. Or this may be evidence that those of us who are monotheists are mistaken and all four candidates really were called, just by four different Gods. Or perhaps God simply subscribes to a management theory that values fostering competition.

We learned of Perry’s divine calling in a speech by his wife, Anita Perry, in which she told an audience at North Greenville (S.C.) University that her husband’s struggles on the campaign trail were due to religious persecution:

We are being brutalized by our opponents, and our own party. So much of that is, I think they look at him, because of his faith. He is the only true conservative – well, there are some true conservatives. And they’re there for good reasons. And they may feel like God called them too. But I truly feel like we are here for that purpose.

Anita Perry also suggested that her family was being persecuted by evil government regulations:

Mrs. Perry’s words came in response to David Von Schmittou, 45, who said he had lost a high-paying job during the recession and now worked odd jobs as a handyman to make ends meet.

“I’m just sympathizing. Let me tell you. Our son has resigned his job because of the federal regulations Washington has put on us,” she said. “He resigned his job two weeks ago. Because he can’t go out and campaign for his father because of SEC regulations. He’s got a wife; he’s got a job. He’s trying to start up a business. So I empathize with you.”

New “pay-to-play” rules, enacted in July of 2010, prohibit financial advisors from “providing advisory services for compensation,” directly or through investments, “for two years, if the adviser or certain of its executives or employees make a political contribution to an elected official who is in a position to influence the selection of the adviser.”

According to the Perry campaign, Griffin’s position as a Deutsche Bank advisor would have banned the bank from “certain business in the state of Texas” had he been simultaneously working for his father’s campaign.

Perry spokesman Ray Sullivan confirmed that Griffin resigned from the bank a few weeks ago “ as a result of new Obama Administration policy.”

So her son the banker isn’t actually unemployed, he just works for his father’s campaign instead of for Deutsche Bank because it’s illegal to simultaneously work for a political campaign and be a banker. And once the campaign is over he will go right back to being a banker.

Yes, that’s exactly the experience shared by all 14 million unemployed Americans.

  • http://timothy.green.name/ Timothy (TRiG)
  • Apocalypse Review

    But only one person can win the nomination and the election; wouldn’t people realize the absurdity of four people trying to all claim that they are divinely ordained for the position only one can occupy?

  • WingedBeast

    They’re Republicans.  Do you think there’s a chance that they could win the nomination if they didn’t claim that God chose (or at least that they believe God chose) them for the Presidency?

    The purification of a party means that you don’t get to have a relaxed attitude towards… anything.  It all has to be the biggest thing ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charity-Brighton/100002974813787 Charity Brighton

    Not really. I mean, let’s say God really did talk to one of them. That one candidate might be telling the truth while the other three are either lying or are hearing voices from Satan.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    Not really. I mean, let’s say God really did talk to one of them. That one candidate might be telling the truth while the other three are either lying or are hearing voices from Satan.

    But if you consider that possibility, you have to acknowledge that Satan can “speak” to a person and convince them the message comes from God.  And if Satan can do that, anything told to a person by “God” might just be another of Satan’s lies.  And if a person cannot trust the passionate sincerity of their own faith, they cannot necessarily trust anything they hold to be true to actually be true.  

    Such thoughts are scary and confusing, and people react to them in one of two ways:  either by rationally examining their belief system and coming to a better understanding of themselves and adjusting their view of the world accordingly, or by rejecting any such analysis outright and doubling-down in their assertions and making their voices so loud that the volume drowns out the nagging doubts in their head.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Charity-Brighton/100002974813787 Charity Brighton

    Hmm

    OK, get rid of the last six words of that sentence. The other people might just be liars. This will get tricky when the actual winner wants the endorsement of the lying losers, but I’m sure the press won’t remember that argument later on.

  • Lori

    But only one person can win the nomination and the election; wouldn’t people realize the absurdity of four people trying to all claim that they are divinely ordained for the position only one can occupy?  

    Not really. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of them say that God told them they should/would have the job. What they say is that God told them to run. As previously noted, God could have reasons for telling them to run that have noting to do with winning

  • WingedBeast

    I think that’s part of the point.  The point is that the winner *has* to be called by God.  They *want* the people who think that one of them is called by God to double down and raise their voices in order to make harder for opposition party to get any message out.

    We’ve seen it before.  A use made of the tendancy to shout to make it nigh impossible to say anything accurate about Healthcare Reform, about Obama’s record on guns, about Obama’s birth certificate, about the fact that the Bank Bailout wasn’t Obama but Bush, etc.

    In politics, if the reality isn’t the one you want it to be, your worst enemy is accuracy.

  • http://blog.trenchcoatsoft.com Ross

    “Obviously”, God is _hedging_.


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