Are You A Real Monk?

The question I get asked more than any other is, Are you a real monk?

Yes, I am. Though, it may look a little different from what you expect.

Many people have a picture of monks as people, probably men, who want to avoid the challenges of living in the “real world” and live in a monastery. They remove themselves from family and friends, and spend their lives contemplating inner peace.

It is true that many monks, men and women, live in monasteries. Some of them spend much of their day in silence and solitude, focusing on the inner, contemplative life. They also spend time doing the practical work it takes to make each monastery self-sufficient.

There are also many people who are connected to monastic life living outside monasteries. People develop a relationship to a monastery and are drawn to make a commitment which includes staying in the lives they have outside the monastery. Many monastic communities have a group of associates or oblates. We live in a time in history when there are more people living monastic lives outside monasteries than living inside them.

As I make my journey which incorporates more and more monastic life into my strategic approach, my understanding of and appreciation for monastic life deepens and grows. The overall arc of my story is that I become increasingly contemplative.

I am an oblate at a Benedictine monastery in Big Sur, California.

Each day, I set out to follow the monastery’s rule for oblates. I spend time in prayer and reflection. I look for ways to integrate silence and solitude, work and wholeness, into my everyday life.

The work I do as a coach and spiritual director reflects who I am, and who I am becoming.