We’re Having a Wedding!

So yeah, Valentine’s Day in the west is not all about rape and semi-nude dancing as some seem to believe. For me it has always been about committed partners acknowledging the love they have for one another. That aesthetic was perfectly matched last night when my boyfriend proposed over dinner.

I knew it was going to happen because we went together to pick out the ring a couple of weeks earlier. I’m so touched that he still wanted to do a public proposal and the waiter who was taking this picture did not see it coming! He was quite startled. I got to have applause from the people around and the manager sent over some drinks (she managed to bring me a virgin drink that I actually didn’t hate, when usually all I can drink is water).

We threw caution to the wind that night and ate completely off diet! This is the same restaurant that we went to for Valentine’s day last year and they have the most amazing poutine. Weight watchers points through the roof, but so, so yummy. (Knowing this was coming, and wanting to look good for the pictures, I’ve been working crazy hard on losing weight. I’ve been at the gym just about every day for the last two weeks, been doing an exercise DVD every other day, and going to my weight watchers meetings. It made no difference. I’m just as heavy today as I was three weeks ago. Sigh. I need it to start working soon so I can order my wedding dress).

There were two adorable little kids at the table next to ours and they were so excited. One of them was not even a year old and he really enjoyed clapping with everyone. Every time I laughed he turned around and looked at me with his huge, beautiful baby eyes. The three year old waved hello and came over to ask us questions and to tell us about the cake that he had just eaten. The parents were a little embarrassed, but we thought it was great.

I was pretty exhausted from all the emotions of the day, so we packed up and went home and updated Facebook. We spent the next few hours enjoying all the excitement the news generated there!

My life has become better and better with every passing day and month. It’s amazing how the insecurities and worries of my twenties melted away and I emerged as a confident, content, and deeply happy person as I entered my thirties. Lately my happiness has exploded into joy bigger than anything I have ever known. Thanks to my dear friend, Jeramy (also my ex, the man I was dating when I first started blogging), I met my soul mate.

I have no doubt that the man who asked for my hand in marriage is the man that I was meant to be with. It took me a while to be ready for this wonderful relationship. I had a lot of learning and growing to do. But once I met Brad, it didn’t take long to realize that we were perfect for each other.

I know some people are surprised (and maybe even disappointed) that I am not marrying an Indian man and I’m not even marrying a Hindu man!

The fact is, life and the universe have a way of surprising you. I could not have anticipated that the right man for me would not practice the same religion. Despite what a central place my spirituality has in my life, I still am absolutely certain that this is the man for me. I feel that the Gods have brought us together for a purpose and that we have spent previous lives together and will spend many more together. (I am so certain of this that I am already sure that I don’t want any vows saying anything like “Until death do us part”).

He is a practicing Buddhist and has studied Eastern religion extensively. He definitely understands my religion and what it means to me.  He also understands all of my other sides, of which there are many!

Like plenty of other women, I’ve been thinking about my wedding for many years. I’ve had some ideas of what I wanted to do to have a Hindu wedding that is still a western event.

Brad, as it turns out, comes with a few ideas of his own!

We are both half Scottish and so we have been discussing how to bring together Indian and Scottish elements to create a multicultural wedding. I think my family might be surprised by the Indian elements, but I am a Hindu and I want a Hindu-based wedding!

Here’s what I know for sure: I’ll be wearing a red lengha and he’ll be wearing a kilt! We’ll have bagpipe music for the ceremony and a mandap decorated in marigolds.

Because I’m a huge fan of wedding TV shows, I thought I’d document the progress of planning with little videos for fun.

Now, a Hindu wedding is usually a very grand event. It tends to be much bigger than western weddings with 300-500 guests not being unusual. They can last three to seven days with many different events and outfits. But since I am forging my own path in religion and in life, I want the wedding to be more like Brad and I are: down to earth, laid back, and geeky.

So I’ll be posting videos but don’t be expecting anything hugely lavish! I think it will be very interesting to see how a white Hindu wedding will look. Though I know it happens, I have yet to see a Hindu wedding where neither bride nor groom is ethnically South East Asian!

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  • MummuKshu

    Though a year late, I want to add something that might make you explore a bit more. You were already married before the actual rituals as Sanatana Dharma recognizes a marriage type called gandharva vivah..which is basically, you and your partner pledge commitment towards each other with the elements as witness 🙂 also many times, as per dharma, once a couple are joined by mutual love,commitment,respect they are by default married … afterall the 3 points of marriage vow dont really need rituals.. – Aarthecha, Dharmecha, Kaamecha…

    • Ambaa

      An excellent point. And I would say that is consistent with my experience. The wedding day didn’t feel like it changed anything. My husband and I already felt fully committed to each other forever.