No Wedding Night Sex?

Is this true? Never heard this before!

“Well, the joke is on us. I belong to this curious breed called Bengalis (residents of eastern part of India) and we are forbidden from having sex on our wedding night. In fact, we can’t even have sex the next night, which is called “Kaal Ratri”, which roughly translate to Doomed Night. It’s only on the third night that we’re allowed to finally share a bed but it’s awful sex because the bed is decked out in foul-smelling tuberoses, which don’t preserve well in our humid weather.” – Samhita -


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About Ambaa

Ambaa is an American woman of European ancestry who is also a practicing Hindu. She is fascinated with questions of philosophy, culture, and the meaning of life. Join her in the journey to explore how a non-Indian convert to Hinduism experiences her religion.

  • Jeramy Hansen

    Well, THAT custom is just stupid.

    • Andrea

      It does make sense in the context of the Bengali wedding though.

      • Jeramy Hansen

        I just read your above response, and I’ll agree with it making sense within that context. I suppose what I should say, then, is that, if I ever get married, it won’t be via a Bengali wedding ceremony if I can possibly avoid it :-D

  • Andrea

    There’s other stuff going on. Remember that depending on tradition, Indian weddings tend to last a few days and there are different ceremonies from time to time. After the ‘biye’ – the part you would recognize as the wedding where you walk around the fire, get the sindoor applied, etc. there is still a lot left to do.

    And traditionally, Bengali weddings happen late at night anyway and the bride fasts from the morning, so by the time the wedding’s over at 1 or 2 AM, she is probably just interested in eating something and going straight to sleep – if she’s allowed to sleep at all! Oftentimes the friends and family will stay up all night with the couple joking around and telling stories.

    And the next day, there’s still wedding stuff to do. The bride has to go to the groom’s house and there’s another few ceremonies left to complete. Only then is the ‘wedding’ done and the marriage consummated.

    Also do remember that in arranged marriages of old, the bride and groom didn’t even see each other until the wedding day – getting busy on the wedding night seems a little too soon, doesn’t it?

    Like I mentioned in the post about the Punjabi churas, the Bengali way of doing the wedding night is just one way among many. It is not “THE Hindu way.” It is a cultural practice, not necessarily a religious one. You two are Americans so follow your American traditions :D

    • Ambaa

      Oh yeah, it was never a possibility to take on this tradition!


    That is true in certain part of Bengali Culture but not in all. I’m glad I’m not begali.