PARISH REPORT: Parish Hires Football Coach To Be On-field Liturgical Coordinator

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

(AoftheANews) BATON ROUGE – Starting next Sunday, parishioners at St Suburban’s will notice an addition to the regular line-up normally seen in the sanctuary. Along with the priest, handful of altar servers, and lector will be the parish’s new on-the-field Liturgical Coordinator. It is believed that St Suburban is the first US parish to hire a full-time, on-the-field Liturgical Coordinator. “We’re excited that former Louisiana State assistant coach Turk “Bubba” McBubberson has joined the staff at St Suburban,” Worship Committee chair Nick L. Bacht told AoftheA... Read more

OMG!!! Justin Bieber Is, Like, Totes A Theologian!!!

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

Seems like pop mega and mega heart throb Justin Bieber has found Jesus. In a recent interview reported on in the Rolling Stone, he had this to say: “I just wanna honestly live like Jesus,” Bieber told Complex in a lengthy cover story. “Not be Jesus – I could never – I don’t want that to come across weird. He created a pretty awesome template of how to love people and how to be gracious and kind. If you believe... Read more

Pope Francis: “On Women Priests, That Cannot Be Done”

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

During the Holy Father’s in-flight press conference yesterday, a reporter asked if we will one day see women priests in the Catholic Church? Here was his reply: Third, on women priests, that cannot be done. Pope St. John Paul II after long, long intense discussions, long reflection said so clearly. Not because women don’t have the capacity. Look, in the Church women are more important than men, because the church is a woman. It is “la” church, not “il” church.... Read more

Funny Vid By Lutheran Satire: “I’m A Christian, But I’m Totally Not…”

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

Earlier this month, Buzzfeed produced a lame video (do they ever produce any non-lame video?) called “I’m A Christian, But I’m Not…”. Not gonna embed it here, but if you want to watch it merely to confirm that it is indeed lame, then go ahead and click here. It was only a matter of time before someone satirized it, and the very funny folks at Lutheran Satire nailed it. Oh, and watch til the end. (sharing Lutheran Satire’s video is me... Read more

PARISH REPORT: Parish Offers Pumpkin Spice Hosts For Autumn Masses

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

(AoftheANews) MUSKEGON – Beginning the first Sunday in October, members of Our Lady of Good Housekeeping parish in downtown Muskegon will recognize a particular fragrance when entering the church for Mass – and it won’t be the traditional incense. Rather, parishioners will be greeted with a pumpkin-spice aroma, as communion hosts will be infused with the scent. “It was an idea cooked up by our Liturgy & Marketing Committee,” Fr. Cole Loughn, pastor of OLGH told AoftheA News. “Pumpkin spice flavored... Read more

Women’s Ordination Panelist: “We Need To Become The Virus…”

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

Shocking, I know, but it’s what she said – the National Catholic Reporter has the story. Women’s Ordination Worldwide held their conference in Philadelphia this past weekend, telling all who were willing to listen (basically the entire readership of the NCReporter) that the Church is misogynistic because God doesn’t call women to be priests. Except according to them, God does call women to be priests – over 200 Roman Catholic female “priests”, by their count – but the big, bad Church... Read more

10 Things To Keep In Mind Regarding Pope Francis’ US Visit

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

In case you hadn’t noticed, or perhaps you forgot, Pope Francis will be arriving in the Washington DC tomorrow, his first Apostolic Journey to the United States. Here are 10 things to bear in mind ahead of his arrival. 10. That he’s addressing Congress in Spanish doesn’t mean he favors illegal immigration or NAFTA. 9. Pope Francis won’t be endorsing your presidential candidate. 8. Pope Francis won’t be ex-communicating the Supreme Court, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, etc., etc. 7. Pope Francis won’t be appearing on any of... Read more

Doctor Who Season 9 Premiere – An AoftheA Monster Primer

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

For many years, Doctor Who was my favorite show – my must see TV. The Classic Era as well as the reboot series. I loved it for a host of reasons, but admittedly, the show lost its appeal towards the end of Matt Smith’s tenure, and I only watched two episodes of Peter Capaldi’s inaugural season (unfortunately, one of those episodes was the idiotic, moronic, incredibly stupid one about the trees. Worst.Episode.Ever.). Tonight is the premiere of Season 9 on... Read more

PARISH REPORT: Man Receives Light Penance, Seeks Second Opinion

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

(AoftheANews) CHEBOYGAN – Stuart Merkelson, a parishioner at Saints Abbot and Costello in Cheboygan, WI, exited the confessional this past Saturday and immediately posted on his Facebook page: “Went to confession, and father gave me a super light penance. Where can I get a second opinion??” His post received 431 likes in six hours, and scores of comments. “I just don’t understand it,” Stuart told AoftheA News. “I was in there for like fifteen minutes, confessing a list of sins as long as my arm,... Read more

Irrefutable Proof That Heretics Are Running The Church

Last updated on: February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am By Larry D

Papal encyclicals, motu proprios, Apostolic Exhortations – all are now published online against a white background on the Vatican website. No more electronic parchment. See? Not sure when the change was made. Probably under the cover of darkness. Or during a Friday news dump. All I know is, it’s over. Modernism has defeated tradition. Heretics are in control. If only I had taken the people warning against these things more seriously. Where’s The Real Church™, and how do I sign up?? ht Reddit/r/Catholicism Read more