January 19, 2022

Someone recently asked why I still write for Patheos, in spite of the fact that some of their content is harmful and destructive to people who are already marginalized (like those of us in the LGBTQ community). I didn’t have an answer for them at the time, as I wanted to really sit and wrestle with the question first. Now that I’ve done that, here’s my answer. Alternative Voices First off, I continue to write for Patheos because if I… Read more

January 18, 2022

Bethlehem, PA – UPDATE: One week ago, we reported a story about the return of the head of Christianity, Jesus Christ. Today, we are sad to report that after travelling to the United States, he has once again been killed at the hands of an angry mob. Initial reports are that a group of white evangelicals stormed the hotel where Jesus was staying, dragged him out front, and beat him for many minutes before police arrived. Christ was ironically taken… Read more

January 14, 2022

People new to my work may think I hate Christianity. I don’t. There are aspects of it I despise, but there is also great beauty in the faith. Like most things, it’s a mixed bag. Some may also think that I hate Christians. Again, I don’t. I cohost podcasts with Christians. My parents are Christian. Some of the people I respect the most are Christian pastors (shout out to Adam Ericksen). My issue is never with individual people, or even… Read more

January 13, 2022

Chico, CA – An up-and-coming author recently discovered that not everyone likes everything he’s written. Michael Di Sorento, the satirist best known for his slightly above average books and podcasts, was appalled to find out that not every one of his over 500,000 blog readers approves of every article he’s written. “I was shocked, really. Shocked . . . and chagrined,” Di Sorento admitted. “As a writer who reaches hundreds of thousands of people, you expect everyone to approve of… Read more

January 12, 2022

Pensacola, FL – The SonShine Congregational Church is once again making headlines. Known for their controversial branding – they once paraded a group of scantily-clad, chastity-belt-wearing teenage girls in front of the congregation during their “true love waits” campaign – the nondenominational church is now offering free, unregistered AR-15s to all new members who can prove they are unvaccinated for COVID-19. The recent promotion has led to a nearly 1000% increase in church attendance, as white evangelicals from all over… Read more

January 11, 2022

Many of you know I cohost a podcast called Heretic Happy Hour. But most probably don’t know that I used to host one called Apostates Anonymous. I stopped recording back in April ’21, simply because I was stretched too thin, like butter scraped over too much bread (to quote Bilbo). But guess what!? Apostates Anonymous is back, and it’s better than ever because I’m joined by fellow HHH cohost Keith Giles. Here’s the tagline for the show: Apostates Anonymous is… Read more

January 11, 2022

Jerusalem, ISRAEL – After 2,000 years, Jesus Christ of Nazareth returned to earth in order to clarify a few things he says have been misconstrued about him over the centuries. While it wasn’t the return most Evangelicals were hoping for, it did shed some light on a few issues. “First off, let me suggest that some of y’all have really botched this whole ‘Christian’ thing,” said the Lord, obviously annoyed that he even had to be here again. “How can… Read more

January 10, 2022

Nashville, TN – A new Christian Music Generator is taking the industry by storm. The app, known as “AutoPraise,” is being heralded as a game changer in the Christian music scene. Since its inception in 2018, the app has seen over 350,000 downloads, but roughly 80% of those have been in the last month alone. The reason for such a spike in interest is due in large part to the fact that Christian supergroup, “sonSHIP,” used the app to write… Read more

January 7, 2022

Rivendell, EASTERN ERIADOR – A recent survey conducted by a coalition between the elves of Rivendell, dwarves of Erebor, and men of Gondor, shows that a growing number of Middle Earth residents do not see Mordor as a threat. The survey concludes that as recently as this month, 31% of Middle Earthers believe that the hype surrounding Sauron has been overblown, while a striking 11% don’t believe Sauron even exists. This is shocking, given that the Necromancer of Dol Guldur… Read more

January 7, 2022

Biloxi, MS – Pastor Andrew Jackson Jefferson Davis of Biloxi Baptist Church is in hot water after members of his dildo collection speak out against his alleged hypocrisy. The Southern Baptist Pastor is well known for his homophobic rantings, some of which were featured on CNN, MSNBC, and elsewhere. When asked for comment, the pastor was unavailable, but we were able to catch up with a few of the toys Davis keeps hidden in his closet. “I’ve been locked away… Read more

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