Dallas, TX – Christian Cringefest, dubbed the Academy Awards of Christian “art,” held its yearly awards show in Dallas, Texas last month, and the big winners were The Babylon Bee, taking home 7 awards. “It’s a major honor,” said Bee editor Kyle Mann, “we try our best to try too hard, always punching down when good satire punches up, and this year we’re finally getting rewarded for our work. We understand just how cringey our religion is, so to take... Read more
Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t believe the Bible is the inerrant, infallible, inspired Word of God. In fact, I’ll take that one step further: If you believe the Bible is the inerrant, infallible, inspired Word of God, you run the risk of causing harm to yourself and others based on what’s in it. It’s full of misogyny, racism, violence, bigotry, human sacrifice, and bears who maul children at the request of God’s prophets. However, as the title... Read more
America is a God-worshiping nation. On every street corner, God resides. In our book stores, our grocery stores, our libraries, there you will find God. God is even in our schools, being disseminated – uncontrollable, ungovernable, incorrigible. Our God goes by many names . . . AR-15 Glock .45 AK-17 Smith & Wesson Like many before us, we sacrifice our children to our God and our God accepts them with glee. We pray for blessings and boons as we sacrifice... Read more
Washington, DC – Just a day after yet another mass shooting in an American school, conservatives are considering reversing course on the repeal of Roe v. Wade. However, there is one stipulation: all abortions performed must involve any number of approved handguns or rifles. This potential policy reversal comes as a bit of a surprise, given how staunchly conservatives disapprove of abortion. But it just goes to show you how much they idolize and worship their guns. “I’m shocked, but... Read more
Mt. Juliet, TN – Greg Locke, the controversial pastor of Global Vision Bible Church, recently went on a tirade against Democrats, alleging that one cannot be both a Democrat and a Christian. The video capturing Locke’s enthusiastic meltdown has been viewed over 2 million times to date. This virality has garnered Locke a lot of attention, surprisingly from corners of the media world one would not initially expect. It has not been confirmed, but rumors have been floating around the... Read more
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We are all familiar with the brand of fundamentalist Christianity that gravitates toward Trumpism, conspiracies, anti-science, and a whole host of white-bred -phobias. We are also all familiar with many of the explanations for such a disastrous ideological marriage. In this piece, I’d like to explore one of them: their eschatology. To start, our brains are wired a certain way. We tend to see patterns in nature, and then attach meaning to those patterns. What we already believe impacts those... Read more
It’s not enough to not be racist I must be anti-racist in the face of This continued oppression Red lines keep Black Americans out of the banks and burbs While white rocks keep them behind bars You heard of white men co-opting Black culture Like vultures picking the bones of the bodies white officers laid down in the streets These streets, where economic disparity widens by the hour This hour, a Black mother is powerless To assuage the hunger of... Read more
Vero Beach, FL – Dick Willies, Senior Pastor of Flowing Waters Church in Vero Beach, Florida, is again in the news, this time for his comments about who should be heading up the US Secretary of Education. Speaking to his congregation, Willies stated the following: “This country is going down a dark path. With Critical Race Theory being pushed in our schools, we have to do something drastic. Heck, with God as my witness, it wouldn’t be crazy to replace... Read more
Englewood, CO – There has been a growing trend among social media commenters who believe that everything created should appeal to their personal tastes and sensibilities. In fact, in a recent poll conducted by Lifestyle Research Company, roughly 73% of those surveyed believe that everything they read should be relevant to their lives. “I expect every article to be relevant, yes,” admitted one anonymous Facebook user. “And if I don’t like something, I will make sure to let the author... Read more
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