Myth: Most couples want the same amount of sex.
Truth: Most couples don’t want the same amount of sex.
One of the most common heartaches is the simple pain of wanting more intimacy than is happening. We think from watching the average rom-com that most men and women want the same amount of sex (and a lot of it)! This myth can lead to such hurt, when we feel like something is wrong with our spouse – or with us.
The truth: in our nationally-representative “matched pair” survey of married couples (spouses who were married to each other), eight in ten couples (79%) wanted different amounts of sexual connection. Just 21% of couples were on the same page. In most marriages, one person simply wants more than the other. And thankfully, as we’ll discuss more below, it is often so much easier to get to a good place than we realize.
If you’re curious about other data, like how often couples are connecting, what the average frequency is, and so on, start with page 40 of the book. Call me slightly embarrassed, but there is a lot of good information in there (averages about pleasure, practices, and so on) that is helpful but that I am not going to share in a blog post!
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