What Wives Need Most From Their Husbands (Part 2)

Emotional Need #4: To know she’s beautiful in your eyes  

 Recently, one of my friends and her husband were getting ready to head to a dinner party. Ten minutes after they had agreed to leave, her husband walked into their bedroom and surveyed the scene. Practically every ensemble his wife owned was strewn onto the bed. She was sweating, awkwardly hooking a clasp on the back of her dress, and lamenting that she “had nothing to wear.” 

 And this man did the unthinkable. He came up behind her, gave her a big hug, and told her she looked beautiful.  

 Swoon. Let me tell you male readers – nearly every woman who is peeking in on this blog just gave a wistful sigh when they read that line. You can have this same sort of impact on your wife. 

 My friend confessed that it hadn’t always been that way in their marriage. For many years, he would have tapped his watch, and in response to her “How do I look?” question, he would have replied, “We’re going to be late honey. I already told you, you look fine.” 

 But he had learned one of her deepest needs. To know she is still – after all these years – beautiful in his eyes. Our nationally representative research from For Men Only bears this out. We asked women whether it would matter to be told by their husband or significant other that they are beautiful. Fully 89% of women said it had a deep emotional impact. Only 3% said it didn’t matter to them. 

 Practical tips to meet this need: 

• See incidents like the above or phraes like, “I have nothing to wear!” as a giant signal, then reassure your wife she is beautiful to you.  

• Erase “fine” from your vocabulary. Much in the same way that you would sink if your wife said your pay raise was “fine,” many women shrink at that word describing how they look.  

• Find phrases that convey “You look beautiful today.” One husband I know told his wife recently that he loves her eyes. “I loved them in your twenties and I love them now,” he said. She held onto that compliment for weeks! 

• You may think it, but your wife likely needs to hear you say she’s beautiful. No matter how self-assured, mature, or accomplished she is, and no matter how long you’ve been together.