Conversations with the Ogre

The Ogre: “Wow, that thing is really…impressive.”

Me: “You mean, my stomach?”

The Ogre: “Yeah. It’s just enormous.”

Me: “This is the fifth time it’s been this enormous. I would have thought you’d be over the surprise.”

The Ogre: “But normally the rest of you gets bigger along with it, so it looks odd this time.”

Me: “…”

The Ogre: “I mean, it looks like you’ve got a medicine ball shoved underneath your skin.”

Me: “I kind of do.”

The Ogre: “Yeah, but usually all of you looks like the medicine ball.”

Me: “Maybe you should stop talking now.”

The Ogre: “What, isn’t that a compliment?”

Me: “…”