12 causes of stress in marriage

12 causes of stress in marriage February 26, 2015


Marriage is awesome, but it can also be really stressful some days!

Every marriage faces challenges. In fact, most of the strongest couples you know are probably the ones who have endured the most challenges together. Easy days in marriage bring rest, but it’s the difficult days that bring growth.

Challenging and stressful situations will come. Preparing for them can help you endure them together in partnership with each other.

In no particular order, here are 12 of the most common causes of stress in marriage along with some resources to help you overcome them:

1. Financial stress.

Stress related to money is now often listed as the number one cause of divorce (which is ironic, because divorce ends up causing much more financial stress). You and your spouse need to get on the same page with money. To help you get started, check out my post on 4 ways to remove financial stress from your marriage.

2. Parenthood.

We have 4 boys. Yes, you heard me right, FOUR. They’re a huge blessing, but parenthood has been the most difficult assignment we’ve ever faced. We desperately want to get it right and I’m sure you do too if you’re a parent! To help you avoid my mistakes, check out this popular post on 7 ways parents harm their children without even realizing it.

Dave Willis husbands love your wives children are watching quote

3. In laws.

The process of merging two families together is always messy. Creating healthy boundaries and dynamics with in laws can be challenging, but it’s always well worth the effort for the overall health of your marriage and family. Check out my post on How to have a healthy relationship with in-laws.

4. Miscommunication.

Communication does for a marriage what breathing does for a body. When communication is happening clearly and consistently, the marriage will suffer. To improve your communication, watch our FREE video series on The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage.

5. Sexual Frustration.

A lot of marital stress can be traced back to sexual frustration on the part of one or both spouse’s. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it! Check out new video series, “Best Sex Life Now.”


6. Exhaustion.

If you’re running at a crazy pace (like most folks), exhaustion is going to catch up with you. I get it. Trust me. Take a minute to read this post on Encouragement for the Exhausted.

7. Work stress.

Many of us spend more waking hours at work than at home and if you have a stressful work situation, it will usually bring stress into the home as well. Take a minute to read “4 things to do when you hate your job.”

8. Hurt feelings.

If you’ve been married longer than five minutes, you’ve probably hurt each other’s feelings before (whether you meant to or not). Forgiveness and rebuilt trust needs to happen. Check out my post on How to rebuild trust.

9. Disagreements.

You and your spouse won’t always agree on everything. Disagreeing with mutual respect and a unified spirit is the key. For more insight on this, check out the Ten reasons couples argue.

Dave Willis DaveWillis.org marriage disagreement same team quote

10. Poor health.

“In sickness and in health” is one of the toughest (and most important vows). When you or your spouse is facing a health challenge, face it together! Watch this short, inspiring video to give you a new perspective on this: “A beautiful, lifelong love story” video.

Dave Willis DaveWillis.org marriage vows vow quote

11. Drifting apart from each other.

When a marriage gets on “autopilot,” there’s a natural “drift” that happens. Be intentional about reconnecting. Start by asking each other these 7 questions.

Dave Willis DaveWillis.org perfect marriage two imperfect people refuse to give up on each other quote

12. You fill-in-the-blank.

Stress comes in all shapes and sizes, so what you’re facing may be nowhere on this list. With your situation (as with the others), face it with faith, perseverance and partnership with your spouse and you will overcome!

For more marriage-building tools, you can connect with me on twitter by clicking here and check out my bestselling book, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage.”

iVow front cover Amazon.com

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