5 things to do when your spouse walks out

1.Promote PEACE in the relationship even if your spouse is being selfish and hostile.

You can’t control your spouse’s words and actions, but you can always control your own. Choose to be respectful even if he/she is disrespectful in return. Be the bigger person.

If your spouse insists on leaving, you can’t stop them. If they ask YOU to leave the house, I’d encourage you not to go. Stay in your home as a sign that you’re staying committed to the marriage. Whether your spouse stays in the house with you, do all you can to promote peace. Don’t shout or cuss or do all the things you feel like doing (though you might be justified in doing them), because they won’t bring peace. Do only those things that could promote peace. The tone of your words might help to shape the tone of the relationship. 

Also, keep in mind these words from the Bible. Scripture is clearly pro-marriage and anti-divorce, but even the Bible concedes that if a spouse insists on leaving, the best way to promote peace might be to let them go. This doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the marriage. It simply means you’re pursuing peace instead of making the fight worse…“But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer* insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15) *This passage is referring specifically to a spouse who isn’t a fellow “believer” in Christ, but I believe this concept also extends to a spouse who is no longer a “believer” in the marriage.

2. Find a support system of friends, mentors and relatives who will encourage you and support you through this struggle. 

You are vulnerable right now and your support system is a HUGE factor here. Don’t fall into the trap of giving up and medicating your grief by partying. Right now, you don’t need partying friends; you need praying friends. You need people who will lift you up and give you strength to make the right choices. If you have children, you need to surround yourself with people who love your family and will support you and your children emotionally, spiritually and possibly even financially in the days ahead. If you don’t have a church home, I’d strongly encourage you to get connected to a healthy church. A community of faith can be a lifeline in times like these. You also need to pay special attention to #3…