The 4 Tests that Define a Marriage

3. The Entrapment Test.

This is a test that you intentionally give to your spouse or your spouse gives to you. It usually happens when one spouse is frustrated about something, and thinks something like, “I do ALL the housework around here. I’m going to leave those dirty dishes by the sink just to see how long it takes him/her to put them in. They’ll probably sit there for a year.” Or maybe something like, “I’m always the one initiating sex. Just to prove that he/she doesn’t value our sex life, I’m going to wait until he/she initiates and after ___ number of days/weeks, I’m going to call him/her out on it.” 

The Entrapment Test is dangerous. It’s actually one that fails you even before you start it, because the premise is to “trap” your spouse (which is never a good thing). You pass the Entrapment Test by not doing it in the first place. When you have an issue in your marriage, communicate about it. Be transparent and honest about how it makes you feel, but don’t test each other to get leverage for your argument. Nobody response well to that. It’s built on manipulation instead of love.

I believe that #4 is the most important one of all…