Glenn Beck produced his usual babbling nonsense about the Republican primary, saying that God is prolonging it so it will go to the convention because he’s giving us one last chance to repent — by voting for Ted Cruz, of course — before he declares his final judgment on America.
Glenn Beck says that if Ted Cruz is not elected president, the country will be lost forever and he’s going to bring together some historians — by historians, of course, he means non-historians like David Barton — to write a book about how it’s all because we failed to elect him.
Boy, Pat Boone is really steamed over that Saturday Night Live sketch making fun of the sequel to God’s Not Dead, which he plays a role in. And we can be happy that the “controversy” over it has brought him and Glenn Beck together at last for an inane phone interview.
Glenn Beck pulled out his trusty blackboard this week — several of them, actually — to deliver a long-winded diatribe about Hillary Clinton’s email servers. And he said that no one has the guts to put her in jail over it, so we’re going to have to have some help from God to do so.
Glenn Beck is upset that Matt Drudge published an article making fun of his repeated claim that Ted Cruz has been anointed by God to save the country, so he had to invent a conspiracy theory to explain this terrible persecution he is undergoing (rational people call it criticism). But he had to lie to justify it:
Glenn Beck is a case study in obliviousness. Just as he once said that he didn’t know anyone who was anti-gay while routinely hosting some of the worst bigots in the country, he now says that he has never heard Ted Cruz tell a lie. Because if you pretend not to acknowledge a lie, it isn’t really a lie.
Oh, Glenn Beck. I’m so glad you exist. Because when you say things like this, it just makes me laugh. He’s upset that no one, not even his own family, is taking him seriously in his predictions of the future. His own children won’t listen to him! Insert sad clown face here.
Many of us mocked Glenn Beck for his ridiculous statements about how America is now worshiping Baal and that has him quite upset. So he went off on a rant about those replicas of an ancient temple going in Times Square and made himself even more mockworthy than he already was.
Glenn Beck has apparently moved on from merely comparing Ted Cruz to George Washington — after all, he’s declared several people to be the “next George Washington” over the last few years — and is now comparing him to Moses. And the comparison is that God has called Cruz to lead, just like Moses, and he has a terrible burden to bear as a result.
Trump ally Roger Stone said recently that if the Republican National Convention is brokered and delegates vote to deny Trump the nomination, he’ll tell Trump supporters the hotels and room numbers for those delegates so they can go and intimidate them. Glenn Beck senses his new divine purpose:
I am greatly amused by all the conservatives who are now suddenly discovering that Sarah Palin is dumber than a box of hammers and babbles incoherently. Glenn Beck is the latest to do so and he strikes a posture of concern, wondering if something has happened to explain her alleged decline.
Dispatches From the Culture Wars
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