Living Through the Aftermath of My Mom's Suicide

February 4, 2016 By Guest Contributor

I was twelve when my mom killed herself. My parents were divorced. My dad was remarried and lived nearby. My older brother lived in his own apartment, so it was just me and my mom making our way. She sometimes left me home alone when she went out drinking. I begged her to stay home, but she would only promise to be home by a certain time. My neediness was useless to change anything. I slept at my dad’s house the night my mom died. More accurately, I moved in. A few blocks were all that separated the houses—a slight but infinite distance. This time the sleepover wouldn’t end. When the sun rose I wouldn’t have a home to return to. Home as I knew it had vanished. Read more

Struggling in the Spotlight

February 1, 2016 By Steve Austin

The struggle with anyone who chooses a more public life is that the fishbowl concept consistently comes into play. People stand around to watch you swim. The thing is, most folks don’t know enough about fish to know if they are swimming or drowning until the fish is floating at the top of the bowl. Yet the fishbowl struggle is often a blessing. Read more

Happiness is the Enemy of Joy

January 29, 2016 By Steve Austin

It has been said that Hope is an anchor for the soul. And I think Joy is the rope that secures us. Joy isn't always smiles and bright eyes. Joy is a connector. Through Scripture, Sacraments, and my local faith community, Joy connects me back to the Hope that steadies me when the seas begin to swell and I feel tossed and tumbled by waves of anxiety. Read more

Time Travel, Potatoes, and Grace

January 28, 2016 By Guest Contributor

For months, my counselor and I worked toward dealing with my emotions instead of shoving them down into the acid that sat in my belly along with all the bad memories. At the bottom of all the junk in my soul, I found grace, resolve, understanding, and forgiveness — for my mom, for my ex-husband, but most of all, for me. Read more

Pastor, Psych Ward, Crazy Good Parent

January 26, 2016 By Steve Austin

Janice Lindegard says, "Crazy Good Parent was born out of my frustration at looking for support as a parent with a mental illness. This is meant to be a supportive place, but also one with a sense of humor. No need to be stiff or formal." I spent months, trying to figure out the perfect story to submit to Crazy Good Parent, and when I thought I had found that post, I sent it over. When Janice responded, wanting to tell the updated version of my story, three years later, I was surprised and grateful. Join me on Crazy Good Parent! Read more

I'll Stop Watching Porn When…

January 25, 2016 By Steve Austin

All through middle school, I thought, I’ll stop watching porn when I get in high school. I was convinced that older guys didn’t need to watch it. When I made it to high school, my plan became to no longer watch pornography once I found a serious girlfriend. In reality, I dated the same girl all through high school and that’s when porn became solidified as my escape. I went to porn when I was lonesome or frustrated with her. Even though I was a star student and a role model in my youth group, this secret addiction was my constant companion. Read more

What a Car Wreck Taught Me about Marriage and Parenting

January 25, 2016 By Steve Austin

The impact of the other car jolted me awake. I pulled over, dazed, heart pounding, to the shoulder of the interstate. I couldn’t believe this was happening. We were covered in debt and doubts and I’d picked up an extra twelve-hour shift that Saturday morning to try and make ends meet. The worst part? The insurance agent promptly reported, “Mr. Austin, your auto insurance lapsed three weeks ago.” Waiting on the State Trooper seemed to last forever, so I called to deliver the bad news to my wife. I felt like all I ever gave her was bad news. I can still hear her say those heavy words, “I’m taking the kids to Florida for a while, until we can figure things out.” Read more

My Son isn't the Only One Having Tantrums

January 24, 2016 By Steve Austin

My four-year-old has had five meltdowns in the past two weeks. It’s a new record. If you’ve got kids, you know the drill: kicking, screaming, and general falling apart over something major… like the end of a t.v. show or the fact that I won’t give him another glass of milk. Sometimes I handle his outbursts with calmness and grace. Other times, as I kneel down, eye-level, begging my little boy to calm down, I secretly imagine popping his little... Read more

All people need is permission.

January 22, 2016 By Steve Austin

In the book of John, chapter five: Jesus was at the Pool of Bethesda, a well-known spot for healing. Many ill people hung around the water, just watching and waiting for their chance to stand in the swirling waters and be healed. One particular man had been an invalid for thirty-eight years, but he hadn't received his healing because no one would pick him up and carry him to the water's edge when it began to swirl and stir. Jesus heard the man's story and said, "Get up. Take your mat with you, and walk!" And the man did. What was different? The man didn't even have to step into the water. What changed? Read more

God helps those who …

January 20, 2016 By Steve Austin

I live in the South, where “Christian” is synonymous with “Republican.” My older family members always voted down the party line. I live in a place where people say things like, “I don’t see how you can vote Democrat and still call yourself a Christian.” Now that I’m a little older, I’ve realized my political views are actually pretty varied, and they don’t fall along party lines. I can no longer talk about inclusion for the outcast and faith in the underdog, yet vote down the “us vs. them” mentality of a particular party. Read more