Reach Out Chapter 5: Resonance

Open and Relational Theology & Social Psychology

The 60-Second Read

Resonance & Intrinsic Motivation: Learning to listen to what resonates with us and motivates us from within, rather than relying on extrinsic motivation from the outside. Agency can be expressed as our ability to take control of our lives and move forward in our own best interests.

The Insight: Discovering new things in our lives is a process, not a singular event. These discoveries offer opportunities. But like childhood dreams, we often grow beyond them and discover entirely new things that excite us.

The Action: This process often involves letting go of older things that we may still find interesting, but which no longer serve our current reality or our best interests. God gives us our interests, expects us to experience them, and builds us with new interests to become something entirely new and more able to serve. We don’t remain our old selves forever, even though we often retain those past interests. In personality theory, people typically want to serve at the level they have attained and want to be challenged to conquer new things.

The_Family — The Family. Gemini_Generated_Image

Reach Out Chapter 5: Resonance

Elias was in the backyard, wearing a leather nail apron with a hammer dangling from it, leaning over the spaced board fence talking to his neighbor. Several new boards adorned the fence.

“I probably should replace this fence with vinyl,” Phil said. “I just don’t have the money for this kind of investment.”

Elias shook the fence. “Seems stable enough now that we’ve replaced the broken boards. My dog will quit visiting you.”

“That’s a shame. I kind of like your dog. He’s welcome anytime.”

“I would let him, but he wanders off down the street. Seems he has friends. I prefer he has friends at the park so I don’t have to hunt him for hours.”

“Well, thanks for the help.”

“You know, I enjoyed it. I’m kind of rediscovering who I am.” He pulled out the hammer. “Turns out, I still like fixing broken things. Preferably ones that don’t talk back.” He laughed.

“Okay, time for me to leave.” His neighbor walked away laughing.

Elias entered the kitchen where Mary was making lunch. “I really enjoyed that. It reminds me of my youth. I like working with my hands. And I’d forgotten how much I really enjoy helping people. Why don’t I do that anymore?”

“Time,” Mary replied. “We can’t do everything. Jobs and family needs take over.”

“But I miss it. And I should be helping others.”

“So, are you going to add carpenter to your list of possible new jobs? You know that job really takes a toll on your body, and you’re not in exactly great physical condition.” She smacked his dad-belly with the back of her hand and smiled teasingly at him. “Dad bod.” She turned her attention to flipping burgers on the range grill.

“You know, I don’t know. But I guess I wouldn’t turn down a job that had a carpentry aspect to it. And I would love to be helping others. It’s me!”

“Well, social workers need a college degree, and they burn out quickly because working with others means endless frustration with both them and the system. I work next to one who finds decorating store windows much more fulfilling.”

“This is all making me feel lost. I experience things I used to do and love them. I love that sense of creativity and immediate accomplishment from seeing things become reality right before your eyes. But—”

“You’ve moved beyond them. And unlike in your impulsive youth, you can delay gratification. Isn’t that what you keep telling Sarah?”

Elias laughed. “Are you using my words against me?”

“I’m not wrong,” she said flatly.

“Never, dearest. I’m just grateful for the time we have right now to rediscover who I am. I love it.”

Elias’s cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID but didn’t recognize the number. Excited, thinking it was a job offer, he answered it. His smile faded and his shoulders slumped as he spoke to someone for a few minutes. He hung up and turned to Mary. “We have an offer on our home. We haven’t even listed it yet. Why?”

Mary shook her head. “I’m not ready for this.” She looked around her. A tear formed. She blinked. It trekked down her cheek. “Was it a good offer?”

Mary’s sorrow deeply affected Elias. “Whatever. I don’t think it was good. I’ve looked at our home value and the offer was fifty thousand lower. Some company is trying to steal it.”

She took the hamburgers off the grill and put them on a serving platter. “You don’t have any job prospects yet. Maybe we should consider it.”

“I’m not doing anything out of fear or desperation. Do you think God wants us to do that?”

“Don’t we have to do something? Look harder? Consider more options? God gave us a brain and the ability to explore all the options that are out there.”

Elias sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it. I think I’ve done the exploring part. I know what resonates with me. At least I think I do! And I know what my skills match. So maybe now that my job search is easier, maybe I should find some job to get us by. What do you think?”

“Can it save our home?”

“Maybe. Probably. We might have to cut back even more until I find something that pays well. The job search can take months, you know.”

Mary looked stoic. “Bird in the hand. God sends you a boat. Gamble on finding a job in a depressed job market.” She looked him in the eyes and held her gaze. She handed him the platter of hamburgers. “It’s your choice.”

“We have twenty-four hours to call them back about the house.”