No Longer Quivering
by Michal Crum from Warhorn Media (part of Tim Bayly’s church/ministry) – Don’t Work on Your Marriage
Editor’s note: While the list below isn’t a bad thing, self reflection is good and this has all the little loving ways that Lori Alexander skips in her marriage book it still pushes one of the more harmful ideas in Evangelicalism – that women are primarily the ones responsible for marital happiness. In the unquoted bit the author puts down marriage counseling as toxic and unnecessary. Lots of disguised sugar-coated submission advice here.
Change the way that you speak to your husband. You may already know what you do that bothers him. Or you may not know. But c’mon, be honest. If he has habits that annoy you, you have habits that annoy him. You can figure it out. Pay attention to body language. Think about what sparks conflict. If all else fails, ask him.
Look for ways that you can tangibly love him, and don’t stand around waiting for reciprocation.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Look him in the eye when he’s talking to you, and don’t check your phone.
- Join him in something he enjoys. Watch his tv show with him, without complaining or criticizing.
- Tell him he’s good-looking, or pay him a sincere compliment.
- Make a point of thanking him for something, and telling him why you appreciate it.
- Give him one more hug than usual, each day.
- Initiate sex.
- Do him a favor—vacuum out his car, make his favorite meal, or do a chore that he usually does.
- Buy him something he likes: a magazine, a candy bar, a box of pop-tarts.
Love is a Choice
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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