Quoting Quiverfull: Forgiving Josh Duggar?

Quoting Quiverfull: Forgiving Josh Duggar? January 16, 2017

quotingquiverfullby Lori Alexander from Always Learning – My Letter to Anna Duggar

Editor’s note: Considering the earlier Quoting Quiverfull cited one of Lori’s younger readers being convicted of not being submissive enough by this open letter to poor cheated upon Anna Duggar, beleaguered wife of Josh Duggar, I thought we needed to take another look at what Lori said. It’s the usual submit harder and he will change message, the most toxic idea in subsets of Evangelicalism.

The next chapter begins with the word “Likewise…” and it addresses wives. Just as Jesus suffered, wives may suffer under a disobedient husband. Your husband has been terribly disobedient and you have suffered greatly. Jesus understands your pain. He has been there. He is with you now for He promises that He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you.
This chapter goes on to explain to wives who are married to disobedient husbands that they MAY win them without a word by their chaste behavior. From what I have watched of you {this is simply going to my observations of the small glimpses I’ve seen of you on television}, you appear to be a godly woman with a meek and quiet spirit who loves her husband. If you are, I will encourage you to continue on trying to win him without a word by your godly behavior since no man’s methods can improve upon the Lord’s. However, it is NOT your responsibility to make Joshua into a godly man as I wrote extensively in my post about wives NOT bearing the responsibility for their husband’s godly behavior. We are ALL given a free will to choose to walk in the Spirit or to walk in the flesh and your husband chose to walk in the flesh.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Saraquill

    Following the rules her family and in-laws laid out for Anna did not make her husband any less of a jerk.

  • Aloha

    So she should “win him without a word,” yet if she doesn’t succeed to “win him,” it’s not her fault. At that point she’s just responsible to put up with all his crap while staying in the marriage, and thereby glorifying God.

    Convoluted logic if you ask me. It’s her job to win him, yet not her fault if she fails. Maybe it’s God’s job to win him and certainly not God’s fault if He fails. But by all means just don’t get a divorce! Then it would be all her fault.

  • SAO

    Once again, the CPM god is cruel and misogynistic. Does being a doormat ever work? My guess is you’re more likely to win the lottery or get struck by lightening.

  • paganheart

    “Dear Anna,

    Here’s some salt to rub into your wounds.

    Your sister in Christ,

  • texassa

    The only words of advice Anna needs to be hearing from anyone are “you deserve a lot better.”

  • Allison the Great

    Just a guess, but I don’t think any of these fundamentalists would be writing open letters to Josh urging forgiveness if Anna had done all the things that Josh did.

  • AFo

    It amazes me how much denial there is in this subculture. We have seen example after example of how the system that they all insist is the end-all be-all, only possible right way to live clearly doesn’t work, yet they insist on blaming the people involved for not following this impossible system perfectly enough. News flash, humans are rather messy creatures, not automatons who respond to every situation the exact same way.

  • TLC

    Jesus understands your pain. He has been there.

    You know what? I’m still a Christian, and I am sick of this line of pure crap.

    Jesus was never married, so he never had a spouse cheat on him. He also wasn’t part of an abusive cult that forced women to take men’s crap and meekly let it wash over them again and again while staying silent and smiling sweetly.

    I also don’t recall Jesus struggling to pay bills, find new clients for his business, keep an old car running and stay sane while trying to get a kid through college.

    This is ALMOST as annoying as people suffering from cancer or any other pain, and someone telling them that Jesus had the ultimate suffering when he died on the cross. Uh, that lasted a day — not months or years.

    I am so tired of people’s pain being dismissed and trivialized. Grrrrrr….


    Thanks for listening.

  • Immerito

    Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

    Anna can forgive Josh, for the sake of her conscience.

    That does not necessitate her remaining in the marriage.

    Anna, Christ gave you children to protect, not to train to be adulterers and perverts by normalizing the wicked behavior of their father.

  • Anonyme

    Women in evangelical/QF circles are threatened with everything from life in a crappy duplex to eternal punishment if they so much as want input on their husbands’ decisions, but men are allowed to cheat, be abusive, lie, etc. with little to no consequences. My mind just about short-circuited.

  • Rapunzel

    What the what. If she’s a godly woman, she’s been being a godly woman in his presence for years ALREADY and the “hey maybe you’ll win him over” thing seems to have been a bust. I mean even assuming that Anna agrees with that interpretation of that particular passage, this advice is about as helpful as (and much more hurtful than) saying “I see you have a defective husband. Have you tried turning it off and on again?” (Sorry, that sounded less weird in my head.)

  • guest

    I’m still a Christian too and I feel the exact same way as you do.
    NOBODY should tell anyone else how much they should endure and suffer “because Jesus suffered”.

  • guest

    Lori, did Ken do to you what Josh did to Anna?

  • BondGurl7

    I am a Christian, and this statement in her letter REALLY made my blood boil:
    “I was encouraged yesterday to hear a report that you would not seek divorce. I have never encouraged a woman to get divorced and I never will since marriage is a model of Christ and the church and He will never divorce us. He continues to be faithful, even when we are not. Please, don’t hold onto bitterness but forgive as the Lord has so graciously forgiven us. It may take a lot of time and prayer but with Christ ALL things are possible. This will be a huge witness to a watching world of God’s patience and love for His children the church. You are showing Christ’s love and forgiveness to a wretched sinner as we all once were before being washed in His blood and made new creatures in Him. He now even calls us saints!”

    So basically, if a woman stays with her unfaithful, unrepentant, lech of a husband, she is the epitome of Jesus and everyone will look upon her in awe. But if she chooses to leave his sorry behind, she is a bitter, disgraced old hag who has chosen own happiness over Jesus.