by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living Liminal

Every now and then, I have one of those moments which expose the utter bankruptcy of my previous religious experience. Today, a dear friend helped to expose another one.

You see, I have been told whenever I’ve protested abuse and injustice at the hands of the religious that I’m just “bitter and unforgiving”.

And yet, these same people who accuse me, also claim that they have done nothing wrong.

But as my friend challenged, how can forgiveness be needed – or indeed, extended – when there has been no wrong-doing?

What would there be to forgive?

So to all those people who have denied any wrong-doing towards me, and have then accused me of unforgiveness, I say this:

You cannot have your cake, and eat it too.

Either you have wronged me, and you feel justified in your claim of unforgiveness on my part;

you have done nothing wrong, and therefore to claim unforgiveness on my part is a nonsense.

But you can’t have it both ways.

So if you want to accuse me of being unforgiving – which means there is something you have done that requires my forgiveness – please own it, and let’s deal with the crap that lies between us.

I’ve always advocated that path.

Otherwise your accusations against me are, at best, meaningless.

Read more by Living Liminal:

Love Does Not Look Like Judgement

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Living Liminal lives in Australia with her husband and three sons, and she is learning to thrive in the liminal space her life has become. She writes at Living Liminal.

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