by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy – The Two-Brained Kid
Editor’s note: Oddly enough in the last bit of this of mules and children Michael never goes to his obvious usual solution – beating the mule/child to make them behave. This is one of those rare Pearl pieces where Michael gives non-toxic advice. Yes, it is important to establish a good relationship with your children, but that does not include physical violence, the thing lurking just below the surface in Pearlworld.
So, now that I have described your situation exactly, what can you do to reverse this trend? Start by convincing your child that you have goodwill toward him, that you are delighted with him, that he makes your life full and rich. You can’t do this in times of confrontation. You would look and feel like an imbecile if you started warm, fuzzy talk with him when the kid simply needs rebuking. In the good times, take your child by the hand and do something fun together. Enjoy his projects. Laugh at his antics. Call someone else, and let your son hear you tell them how smart or strong or tough he is. Be creative in devising ways to be pleased with your child.
Remember this well: As a parent, it is your responsibility to cultivate a mutual feeling of goodwill between you and your children. When your child can relax in your presence, then—and only then—you can train him in obedience that leads to character. When your relationship gets confrontational, the only thing you can communicate is that you are tougher than he is. He needs to be assured of your toughness, but it is pitiful indeed if that is the sole basis of his obedience.
So let’s finish where we started. A child (and a mule) has two brains: an Acting (thinking) Brain and a Reacting Brain. The reacting mental state is not a trainable condition; the thinking brain is. So learn to think and act; don’t wait until both of you are reacting. Don’t let your son grow up to be a mule, for you already know what that is like.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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