No Longer Quivering
by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – Most Marriage Books Hurt Marriages
Editor’s note: Rolling laughing today over Lori Alexander’s claims about MOST marriage books hurt marriages. I’m betting she’s thinking only her crazy book is the only safe one. Oh the irony is rich here…
There’s one I’m reading now and it is written by a woman but she writes to men, too. She explains a wife’s role and then a husband’s role in marriage. I am often told that I need to teach men to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. There’s a problem with this method that I have found.
Then there are questions a couple is supposed to ask each other when they’re in an argument: 1. Repeat what the spouse said to make sure you understand; 2. Look in their eyes and see the emotions behind what they are saying; 3. Talk and pray until a compromise is reached, etc. What about all of the Bible verses that teach us to not argue and fight, but pursue peace with all men? How about the fact that the husband is the head over the wife and she is to be subject to him in everything? These are usually not mentioned in marriage books.
God instructs wives to win their husbands “without the word” for a reason. I don’t know any woman who has changed her husband by continually correcting him, nagging him, or even simply speaking to him about his sins/faults. It’s not our job to change our husbands. The more expectations we put upon them, the worse our marriage will become.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
Read more cognitive dissonance from Lori Alexander
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