Lori Alexander Loves to Fat-Shame Children and Parents

Lori Alexander Loves to Fat-Shame Children and Parents February 8, 2018

Yet again Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife returns to one of her frequent themes – fat shaming…..

The post is all about controlling your children in every aspect of their lives. While it’s good to have some rules Lori, of course, takes it all to extremes. This reads like a woman that does not like children and likely should never have had children.

Nope, Lori, you do not have the right to tell others how to feed their children, or fat shame anyone.


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    Or, once they’re out on their own they’ll eat whatever they want whenever they want for the sheer joy of autonomy, but sure, Lori. Control whoever you need to because you can’t control your husband’s intake anyway.

  • Mimc

    Got any actual evidence that electronics are bad for kids Lori? No? I didn’t think so. Also why can’t dads help teach kids about health food? Is there something about being a dude that makes it impossible to do simple parenting things like encouraging your kids to eat more apples than twinky? Another thing, if I’m so hungry it’s actually painful I’m going to have a snack and I’ll provide one to my kid in the same situation. Eating when you are hungry and not when you are bored or told to by the clock is actually good for you.

  • yulaffin

    Great way to create eating disorders in your kids, Lori. Oh right, another thing on the “Lori Alexander is a monster” hate everyone check-off list.

  • Mel

    I’m feeling bad for Lori’s kids again; she’s nuts – and presumably couldn’t teach writing skills to save her life. Today’s sentence from hell:

    “Mothers should keep an eye on this and feed their children healthy and develop taste buds for this; another good reason for mothers to be keepers at home.”

    1) Antecedents don’t go on forever. The sentence previous talks about monitoring kids for obesity so the first half of the sentence reads to me as “Mothers should keep an eye on (avoiding obesity) and feed their children healthy and develop taste buds for (avoiding obesity)” which makes the clause involving taste buds really strange.

    2) “Healthy” is an adjective that needs to describe a noun – like “healthy snack” or “healthy food”.

    3) Semicolons are used to divide two complete sentences that are tightly related. The portion after the semicolon in that sentence is a fragment with an easy fix of starting the sentence with “These are” and pluralize reason. Reason should be pluralized in the fragment already because the previous phrase lists 3 reasons/actions that mothers do. (Drop “another”; that was a poor word choice to start with. See, two complete sentences!)

    Plus, she never picks a single topic for a paragraph which drives me batty.

  • Melody

    So she thinks that only stay at home moms teach their kids about (healthy) food? What on earth gave her that idea?

    She is just grasping at straws here to defend her own beliefs. There is no correlation to any of this. Besides, food, nutricion and bodies are complex; there is no perfect formula that serves everyone best. It depends on loads of variables and people have the right to eat as they please.

  • Melody

    It’s all half sentences – unfinished – and then she goes on with the next thought without finishing the first. Not unlike Trump, I might add.

  • Nightshade

    I find it interesting that food is the first ‘my kids weren’t the boss of ME’ subject she addresses. Not obedience, not working hard, or avoiding ‘the world’…food. Obsession much?

  • SAO

    I have a skinny teen kid and an overweight adult kid. I encouraged and fed them healthy food. We did not have junk food or soda in the house. My overweight kid was always, from a small child very interested in food, far more than the average person. She’d sometimes say she wanted to go on this outing because it was near the restaurant that served a particular dish. If there was a potluck, she’d want to try every dish that looked good.

    My observation about parents is the ones with easy kids or kids with a natural tendency to do the “right” thing, no matter what it is, often smugly lecture other parents or condemn them for their failure, assuming an overweight kid is one encouraged to snack on twinkies day after day.

  • Rachel

    “If they were ‘hungry’ as children are continually saying…”

    I don’t know why, but this phrase just reeks of contempt. Of course they are continually hungry, Lori! They are constantly growing and their brains are still developing! That takes a lot of energy, which requires food!

  • katiehippie

    So her kids weren’t allowed to watch TV but she can watch the Hallmark channel all she wants?

  • Nea

    To be fair, she’s a huge fan of the Pearls who can’t keep a single thought straight for more than 100 words.

  • Lily Erickson

    Being told what to eat and when doesn’t build self-control either. It builds codependency and unhealthy relationships with food. This is one of the things that seriously makes me wonder how Quiverful kids live day-to-day on their own once they are married. Going from having every second of your life micro-managed to suddenly having the freedom (and expectation) that you will behave like an adult must be a huge shock.

  • Julia Childress

    I do feel bad for her children. Imagine being raised by a mother who is a humorless control freak who also happens to be an inflexible religious fanatic. Geez. Just typing that almost made me cry.

  • Jennny

    I agree with the commenters here who say Lori’s oppressive control of food could well lead to eating disorders. I know little about nutrition professionally, but I understand those who do, advocate not banning any foods but teaching moderation, learning which foods are good for us and which are best eaten as occasional treats or just for fun…but that little 3-letter word f-u-n doesn’t exist for Lori or Ken. And in QF circles, as previous posts here have said, the problem seems to be how under-nourished and unhealthy QF kids look in photos on QF blogs, not how obese they are.

  • AFo

    She is completely obsessed. Every time she posts “health” advice, she always manages to tie it back to food. According to her, if everyone just ate healthy food instead of junk food, no one would ever get sick. She also uses it as a way to shame mothers, like in this post. If a kid is overweight, it’s because his evil, feminist mom has a job and sends him to public school instead of keeping him under her watch and portioning out every morsel he eats 24/7.

  • zizania

    I was reading something the other day, can’t remember where, that stated you can’t have “healthy food” or “healthy snacks”. People or animals or plants can be healthy. Food is “nutritious” (or not). Interesting point, I though.

  • A lot of kids put on a bit of weight in preparation for a growth spurt. My son did that – he would be thicker for a few months, then shoot up in height. He barely ate junk food at all.

  • Lulu

    Ugh. She is so insufferable! She seems like such a miserable person. Lighten up, Lori! Enjoy life a little! Yikes. For people who have “freedom in Christ” they are so tightly wound and full of rules.

  • Mary Hannah bates

    I haven’t seen my adoptive dad in 15 years because of his controlling ways just like Lori’s. You can only threaten “in my house, or under my roof” so many times and then fine, keep the damn house to yourself. Get off my ass you reproductively dysfunctional preacher man piece of shit.

  • Almost a chimp

    I’ve noticed that Lori has a tendency to think that because she does everything perfectly then the problems she encounters in her own dysfunctional life must be the norm for everybody and not her fault at all. Therefore, if her own kids were always complaining of hunger between meals the problem couldn’t be that she wasn’t giving them ample amounts at mealtimes, it must be that all children are greedy.
    Children, especially physically active children, need a high-energy diet with a good balance of fats, carbs, proteins, etc. It sounds like Lori’s idea of a balanced diet consists of cheap, low-sugar, low fat, high starch foods – all short-term stomach fillers, quickly burned off. Little wonder that hunger was rife between meals.

  • Almost a chimp

    Agreed. To see what happens when kids are released into the wild (so to speak) after a tightly controlled upbringing, one only has to look at the adjustment problems encountered by some of the former Disney kids; Britney, Christina, Justin, et al. once they left the rarified world they’d inhabited.

  • Saraquill

    “Carrie” and “Silent Hill” come to mind.

  • Saraquill

    Reading the above reminded me of one couple’s attempts to curb obesity in their children. Their extreme methods lead to malnutrition related seizures and worse.

  • kilda

    yes! In much the same way, people who find it naturally easy to be thin assume that anyone who isn’t thin must be eating massive quantities of food and never moving. After all, how else could they possibly be overweight, since staying slim is so easy?

  • kilda

    well, they don’t actually expect women to behave like adults. They’re still basically seen as children who must be controlled and guided by their husbands.

    And in another way, the husbands are treated like oversized children who need to be fed, catered to and pampered by their wives, lest they fall apart.

    Hmm. I guess that’s it. They have no model for the idea of growing up into self sufficient independent adults, so they don’t.

  • Evelyn

    Get. a. life. woman!

  • IM

    Today I learned that Lori has no idea how food, or the body works. Go figure/s. Children, especially young ones, need snacks in between meals for energy. Obesity isn’t caused by a “lack of self control”, it’s more complex. There are genetic and economic factors involved. I’m sorry the poor black kid in Chicago can’t eat a freshly picked pear, Lori.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if her children were malnourished.

  • B.A.

    I’d bet she’s a huge fan of Trump,too.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Ummm…”eating every time you have a hunger pain” is fine. Eating when you’re hungry is a good idea. It’s eating when you’re not hungry that can be problematic. Hunger is your body’s way of telling you it needs food, especially for growing children. It’s healthy to be in touch with your body’s signals. It’s not healthy to think your body is an evil enemy to be conquered and that will not lead to a healthy relationship with food.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Keeping healthy snacks around, including fruit, is a good idea but one piece of fruit is not going to be enough between meals for most kids. Kids have growth spurts and also just natural variations in metabolism. I pigged out after school, was hungry again for dinner and was thin as a rail until well into college. (And my metabolism is probably still a little higher than average because, though I’m not as skinny as my teenage self, I’m still regular thin and stay that way without much effort or “self-control.”) If I’d had no snacks except the odd piece of fruit between meals (which I have a feeling are also closely controlled for portions and seconds), I’d have been a waif. Sure, it’s great if you have the ability to make only healthy options available in your home (not everyone can do that) but then let the kids eat!

    Also, a junk food treat now and then is no big deal and much more sustainable and emotionally healthy than complete, neurotic avoidance. “Cookies are a sometimes food” is a pretty spot-on message.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Heh, I’m kind of the opposite. As a naturally thin person, the idea of having to exercise self-control about food to stay a socially acceptable size is not something I’ve had to deal with very much. How does anyone do it! It just seems so hard!

    My brushes with food restriction have been extremely limited. There have been a few periods in my adult life where a combination of unhealthy eating and being way too sedentary caused my weight to creep up a few pounds–not to the point that I was overweight, or even much bigger than usual, just to the point where I could not zip my favorite jeans easily and didn’t like it, even if I was the only one who really noticed. On those occasions, I’ve embarked on short periods of calorie restriction to lose those 5 measly pounds or whatever. And I am SUCH A BIG, WHINY BABY ABOUT IT! Like, I feel soooooo sorry for myself while I’m doing it. lol. And it is amazingly hard, even for just the few weeks it takes, to routinely deny myself things that I want to eat. Doing that for many months or even years on end? I am amazed at people who even attempt it because I sure don’t have that stamina. My body type has afforded me the privilege of basically eating whatever the fuck I want with nobody trolling me about it. I try to eat healthy, well-balanced (though not necessarily low-cal) meals anyway, because there are other good health reasons to do that and I enjoy cooking. But I don’t “have” to.

    Any fat person who has ever made any attempts at losing a large amount of weight (and that, despite what fat-shamers think, is nearly all of them at some point because it’s not like they don’t know that people judge them) has loads more self-control than someone like me.

  • Nightshade

    She has to watch every bite of food, but doesn’t care about a fever until it hits 106.

  • persephone

    Appearance is everything to these nut jobs.

  • persephone

    I bet she watched My Christmas Prince twice a day, all month.

  • TirilA

    So she thinks that only stay at home moms teach their kids about (healthy) food? What on earth gave her that idea?She is just grasping at straws here to defend her own beliefs. There is no correlation to any of this. Besides, food, nutricion and bodies are complex; there is no perfect formula that serves everyone best

  • Nea

    Presumably. She’s all about authoritarian, controlling men.

  • texassa

    “Mothers should keep an eye on children’s eating, which is a good reason why mothers should be keepers of the home.” This is a simple, solid example of not understanding or utilizing logic. If she had asserted that “mothers have an inherent strength for understanding nutrition,” or some other existing trait that made women – not men – more equipped for this job, then following it up by concluding, “this is another reason mothers should be keepers of the home” would make sense. But all she does here is pair two “shoulds” which have no cause:effect relationship. When you spend too much time swimming in your own thoughts of what you believe others should be doing, I imagine you’d have a hard time keeping hold of things like logic, reason, or reality.

  • Poster Girl

    I’ve long maintained that, just as white supremacists as a group tend to be the best evidence AGAINST white superiority, religious homeschoolers provide the best evidence against religious homeschooling.

  • Julia Childress

    We always prepared food as a family, plus both of us worked full time, and we sat down every night for a family dinner. We utilized the slow cooker and the freezer, we made some multi-day meals and we fixed things on Sunday night, but it just wasn’t that hard. Incorporating kids into your meal prep gets the kids interested in eating what they have prepared, plus there are valuable chemistry and math lessons in cooking, and we usually had a lot of fun in the process. Those are memories I cherish. I think that life is just one big drudge for Lori.

  • Jo

    Her children certainly don’t appear to have a mother who ever played with them – and Lori gives many excuses why this is the case. She appears to lack that motherly instinct which is funny considering everything she goes on about.

  • Julia Childress

    I know that she had health problems and she has admitted that she was not a “fun” mom. But I think you hit the nail on the head – she just doesn’t take naturally to being a mother.

  • lady_black

    As healthy dietary advice, her words are sound.
    However, very few parents “let their children eat whatever they want.” Parents are not short-order cooks, and Mom or Dad should only need to prepare one meal. Hopefully, it’s well-rounded and nutritious.
    That being said, I chose never to make mealtime a battle-ground with my children. If they didn’t want to finish, I never made them feel guilty about not cleaning their plates. If they didn’t want to eat the dinner I prepared, they could have a bowl of cereal and milk instead. When young, one of my kids was a very fussy eater, and went through a phase where he would only eat Spaghetti-Os or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So that’s what I fed him. He survived.

  • lady_black

    She certainly likes non sequiturs, doesn’t she? It certainly doesn’t follow from “Children should eat a healthy, balanced diet” that women should be “keepers at home.” In fact, one has nothing to do with the other.

  • lady_black

    It depends. LOL. I don’t like anyone in the kitchen with me while I am working. Space has always been an issue with me. That doesn’t mean my kids never got chances to learn to follow a recipe. That means I supervised while they did things, and when I was working in the kitchen, they stayed out of my way.

  • lady_black

    I agree. My sweet tooth can be satisfied most of the time with a slice of watermelon, or a fresh pear. I intensely dislike things that are overly sweet. A cake with too much icing, for example. When I do make cake, most of the time it’s something that doesn’t need icing, like a carrot cake or angel food. For kids, if a piece of fruit isn’t sufficient, a piece of cheese, yogurt and whole grain snacks or nuts can help fill the hole. It’s better for the metabolism to combine a carb with a protein for longer lasting stable blood sugar levels.

  • therealcie

    Read the #wakeupweightwatchers hashtag trending on Twitter to see what happens to those introduced to deprivation and food shaming at an early age.
    It happened to me. I started dieting and developed an eating disorder at age 12. I went through the misery of yo-yo dieting for 33 years. Each time, the weight came back with friends. I had to stop dieting so I wouldn’t gain more weight. Fortunately, I discovered Health At Every Size.
    However, I still struggle with an eating disorder and self-loathing. I have hated my body since I hit puberty, regardless of whether I was “succeeding” at dieting or not.
    I will be 53 years old in a week.
    Body shaming and food shaming cause a lifetime of damage.

  • persephone

    She’s said she’s had brain tumors. But Lori will never not be complaining about something. She seems a lot like my mother; she can’t admit that she made some wrong choices, so she’s going to keep beating that dead horse as they slide down the hill into the chasm, rather than jumping off or trying to engage the brake.

    It really pisses me off, because I lost a friend to brain cancer. I know it messes with your head. The tumors cause damage; the surgery causes damage. The brain may recover partly, but seldom, if ever, completely.

  • Melody

    I didn’t know about that; it might account for the unfinished thoughts and unclarity. But Lori’s negative personality and attitude are her own, I think.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I call fiddlesticks on her brain tumor just based upon what I’ve seen in friends suffering from brain tumors. In her blogs and book she oh so briefly touches upon what she went through, denigrates the doctors telling her to get followups because she supposedly has 17 tumors still in her brain. She talks about prayer, salads and vitamins and having no recurrences or any legitimate follow ups, blowing off the requests of the doctor for more testing. Nothing she’s said lines up with anything in my limited experience of brain tumors, or my vast experience with living with a chronic life threatening illness.

    What I suspect the truth is would be closer to an experience I had when being tried on a new experimental biologic drug at the hospital after my Xolair stopped working for me after eight years. I was sitting in the waiting room after checking into the outpatient procedure desk waiting to be called back to the infusion rooms. I ran into someone I vaguely knew from church that day. She asked me why I was waiting here, and I told her to get a new asthma treatment at the infusion center, not telling her it was an experiment, they’d have me wired up to monitor my vitals with a crash cart next to me and that some folks had gone into cardiac arrest and died during administration. It was dicey, but I was not about to spill my woes on her. It was what it was.

    Asked her what she was having and she spieled out that she was having the worst surgery EVER, major abdominal surgery for cancer of the bowel and/or uterus. I was like, ‘Oh gawd, I’m so sorry. I’ll pray that things go well!’
    Two days later I saw her husband out and about and asked how the surgery went and if his wife was still in the hospital. Come to find out she was having a laparoscopic procedure to see if there was scar tissue forming between her bowel and reproductive organs, and it turned out it was very little and they were able to burn some of it away.
    She’s still telling the tale of her ‘Cancer’. I suspect Lori’s ‘Brain Tumors’ might be like that.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Only references I could find online about Lori’s brain tumor/cancer is three pieces on her blog and one on another blog. Curious.
    From https://keeperofthehomestead.com/blog/always-learning
    “This morning when I opened my email, I found this very nice post about two books that Lori has on her coffee table. Lori suffers with chronic pain and bouts of brain cancer as well in her life. ”

    https://thetransformedwife.com/living-a-long-and-healthy-life/
    “Shirali Mislimov of Azerbaidzhan, U.S.S.R allegedly lived to be 168 years old and died in 1973. In researching his life, I found some interesting things. Now, I’m not interested in living that long but I do try to live as healthy as I can while I live. Yes, there are some things that have happened to me beyond what I could prevent like head and neck trauma that most likely caused my brain tumor and needing a neck fusion. But we can learn from people who live to ripe old ages such as this man and was even working hard on the day he died!”

    https://thetransformedwife.com/to-my-steadfast-son/
    ” The first time I had to go to the ER and found out I had a brain tumor you came to the hospital every night after a full day of school and sports practice to see me . One night, I was too sick for you to come see me and you felt so badly. Even after my second brain surgery, you came all the way up to USC to see me because you cared. When you were home from college, you’d fix my meals and do anything I asked of you. You have such a generous and servant’s heart to help others.”

    https://thetransformedwife.com/872-2/
    “Concerning my brain tumor, I was supposed to go in for an MRI last June to make sure it isn’t growing but I didn’t. (I have had at least 30 of those on my head.) I also need to get my hormones checked since the Cyber Knife is supposed to kill my pituitary, the major hormone gland. I am waiting for January to do both in case I need more care since it’s the beginning of our health care year. My pituitary must still be working or I wouldn’t be alive. I have to be careful to only drink four cups of water a day with a teaspoon of salt in it due to my damaged pituitary. It’s the one thing I will always have to be careful about. I never want to end up in the ICU again with “death level” sodium of 115.”

  • persephone

    Yeah, I have a coworker like that. My MIL has had breast cancer twice, as well as lung cancer. I’ve seen it.

    My coworker regularly complains about all she went through with her breast cancer, but it wasn’t even really cancer, at least not malignant. She somehow, probably due to over treatment by her doctors, has this idea that precancerous = premalignant, because now she’s talking about her skin cancer. *eyeroll* I mean, I feel bad she’s worried and sick, but, come on.

    The breast cancer issue was that she developed a lump in her breast. It was benign, removed in one surgery. But they decided to chemo and radiate, JIC, because they found precancerous cells. Now, studies have shown that 2/3 of the time, cancer doesn’t develop. But, she has good insurance, so the doctors went crazy. She was out of work for months during treatment. The surgeon, meanwhile, failed to recognize that an infection had developed at the site, so she was sick with an infection for a while.

    The skin cancer thing is she pointed out a couple of little odd growths, tiny as heck, on her forehead, which they biopsied, and proclaimed precancerous. She was given a cream to cause the cells to slough off. But she because she thinks precancerous means premalignant, she’s telling us all about her skin cancer.

    My MIL, meantime, works as a solo lawyer. During her lengthy treatments for the three rounds of cancer, she took very little time off, appeared in court in turbans to cover her bald head, never complained, and still has issues that she deals with everyday, due to the destruction of lymph nodes during surgery and treatment.

    I’ve just found out in the last two years that I have multiple, major immune disorders. I’m still holding down my job (thankfully, they’re working with me to make sure I get to doctor appointments (multiple specialists) and are ready to put me on short term disability, when/if I need it. My cousin’s GF, who supposedly injured her shoulder so badly she can’t work anymore, is on SSD. She went bow hunting this year, something I figured would require two, well-working shoulders. Of course, she voted for Trump.

    SMDH

    ETA: I don’t want to play the “I’m sicker than you” game, but some of these people just chap my hide.

  • persephone

    She’s got all her long hair, but she had brain surgery. Okey doke.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I get so irked with those that malinger when others are fighting for their lives. I get it.

  • B.E. Miller

    Because when you have a bunch of kids, but only one working adult, and homeschooling supplies to pay for, it’s hard to make the paycheck stretch enough to feed everyone.

    I remember reading a blog entry from Kiery King(sp?) where she was showing off some leg wound scars she had. Apparently for a bit of time, she got some open wounds on her legs. (Which in QF tradition were treated with prayer and olive oil only.) I had to remark that I thought it was a nutritional deficiency that happened. Because I remember reading that during the Holocaust, children in the concentration camps often developed open sores due to nutritional deficiencies. (The one that really stuck in my head was the description about a child having gaping open wounds on his cheeks, and when he opened his mouth, you could see through his cheeks, as if the sores were windows.)

  • BridgetD

    I can kind of relate…I’m not naturally thin, but short and curvy. Still, I never look as heavy as I am, and it doesn’t actually take much effort to keep my weight down…well, -ish.

    I gained quite a bit of weight after graduating high school (I lived a sedentary lifestyle and at the time was stress eating a lot), so at my heaviest I was 180 lbs at 5’0″. I looked chunky, but not actually that bad. As I went through my first year in college, I managed to lose 40 lbs without any real effort. Just walking all over campus was enough to shed those pounds. Seriously. I didn’t restrict my diet and it honestly wasn’t any healthier than I had been eating. However, I did stop stress eating after finding healthier ways to manage anxiety and stress. All of it was enough that I shrunk about four pants sizes in the last three years. People have been asking me how I did it, and I’m just like…”Um, exercise?” 😛

    Really though, I hate fat shaming. People who make attempt to lose weight have my respect, because it can be just plain hard.

  • Jennny

    That’s horrific to read. I bet at the same time, that family was forcing the kids to smile 24/7 and to project the image of perfect family life. Suzanne once commented that she read QF blogs where mothers were worried there was no money for basics – like shoes. That seems unusually honest, come to think of it, admitting not everything was wonderful in their lives. A commenter here then said she felt sorry for a nearby QF family and gave them aid. Someone else replied wasn’t it amazing that god provided through the generous neighbour whilst the rest of us said the SAHM had a duty to provide…and should GET A JOB. The next comment (from a presumably fundy perspective) was that she couldn’t as she had 10 small kids..not an acceptable response said the rest of us!!!

  • Morgan Lefaye

    Eek, Lori! If children have actual hunger pangs, feed them already, lady!

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    I’d think that the appearance of a dead kid who should have gotten seen by a medical professional for a fever when it was way lower than 106 degrees would be the kind of thing that matters…with Lori, it’s all…”nah, but don’t even think of eating a cookie. Quit whining about feeling sick, you know there’s nothing wrong with you and the medical insurance year hasn’t started over again so if you are ill it has to wait. Now leave me alone to consider granite options for the new kitchen.”

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    My SIL has 3 boys and 1 girl, all of them have a bit of a problem with picky eating which she tries to accommodate in a sense by making them stuff they say they want (even if it means two are eating chicken, one is eating cheese pizza, and one is eating a tuna sandwich…except that in actuality she prepares all of those things and then has to fight to get them to eat…). My brother says the challenge is trying to counteract his in-laws allowing the kids to have full control over everything related to eating which isn’t great when you have kids who will whine for one thing, get it, decide they don’t want it after all and whine for something else – which can end up going through four or more possible meal options, and all while trying to wrangle all four to keep them at the table. The in-laws are the childcare providers for a greater part of the schedule than our parents are, and will do the fast food thing more than ours (our parents have a way different schedule for meals as well, with the largest meal at noon…they’re a bit unusual but it’s their choice when they eat and what they eat, thankfully their adult children get to choose differently!) so trying to handle the situation is challenging. The mister and I have only recently become licensed foster parents, so things are a little different at our house.

    I went through a phase as a toddler where I only ate Cheerios and grapes for the most part, my mom worried so much that she brought it up to the pediatrician who told her that as long as I got enough Cheerios and grapes it was something I’d soon grow out of – he was right and I did.

  • lady_black

    Your Cheerios and grapes were my son’s Spaghetti-Os and PB&J. And I didn’t worry about it, or even think to ask a doctor. I just figured he would eventually eat different things and indulged him.
    There is NO WAY that I am going to prepare different meals for different kids once they are all eating at the table. That’s asking too much. I wouldn’t do that for anyone!

  • Cynthia

    I can’t help but wonder what the web history of the Turpins might show. Wouldn’t be surprised to see either the Pearls or Lori Alexander. The idea that she is actively encouraging parents to homeschool, physically punish children and become obsessed with controlling their food is downright disturbing. She had previously written about making babies sleep through the night as early as a few weeks old – long before pediatricians say that it is safe to try.

  • Poster Girl

    Right?

    I work full time, but my kids accompany me on grocery shopping trips and to the farmers market, help in the garden (including picking out which varieties of vegetables to grow), help plan menus, and spend time preparing meals with me where I show them techniques such as chopping, making bread, cooking eggs, and assembling sauces. Involving them in all steps of the process gives them ownership over what they’re eating, and they have MUCH more varied tastes and adventurous palates than I did at their ages. They also much more readily eat their vegetables.

  • ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones

    My mom has a tendency to worry and freak out over the smallest of things, or get super focused on stuff that shouldn’t but ultimately eclipses the bigger picture and/or point. It was also the early 80s and SoCal where the world got a bit scarier before it happened elsewhere. :p

  • B.E. Miller

    I’m thinking…. if mom has no job skills, and 10 kids, wouldn’t she qualify for job training assistance.

    Or if the kids are all school aged, she could put them in public school, and work while they’re in school.

    I’m not sure about ‘home based’ work. If she did call center work, she’d need uninterrupted internet service, AND for the kids to leave her alone while she was working. (She really shouldn’t have had 10 kids, but these QF types seem to think that God will shower blessings on Righteous Christians.)

    Maybe working around her husband’s job. So he would be the caretaker for the kids while she’s at work.

    I’ve known secular Christian couples who did that.

  • persephone

    I bet Lori’s kitchen looks like the ones in Nancy Meyers’ movies.

    Lori loves the idea of her life, but she hates the reality of it.

    I tend to run low fevers. If my temperature were to get that high, I’d probably be dead. My youngest sister had a history of spiking, high fevers, and I can remember my mother giving her cold baths on doctor’s orders to get her temp down while waiting for medication to kick in.

  • Delilah Hart

    I would say that I wish I could be as confident about all my decisions as Lori Alexander seems to be about hers, but I really don’t want to be so arrogant.

  • texassa

    Those are great ideas! We don’t have kids yet, but I see us following a similar plan. I will keep your points in mind 🙂