Don’t Be a ‘Harlot’

Don’t Be a ‘Harlot’ April 20, 2018

Has there been more thong clad throngs on the beaches of San Diego, tempting Ken Alexander? Or women in those see through Lululemon yoga pants invading Lori Alexander’s space? No matter, but someone does seriously need to pry all the concordances out of Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife’s hands as quickly as possible. When she seems to be stuck for original material she immediately consults very old concordances.

This seems just a tad judgmental, does it not. The photo reminds one of Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas. I’ve always wondered where Lori gets her photos from because she’s not able to post photos of her kitchen every single day.

Someone remind me again who it was that posted a photo from a catalog of a simple above the knee skirt that should have only run 30 buck or so for more than double that? Seems like someone is not practicing at all what she preaches. Shorts running mid-thigh, skirts above the knee? That would so brand you a ‘harlot’ in the eyes of the Duggars and many others in Quiverfull. I think even Debi Pearl might have a problem with those.

Here’s an idea. Wear what you are comfortable with, no matter what others might think, and stop declaring that what you approve or wear is the only standard out there. Even if you see someone out there wearing next to nothing it’s not your business at all.

Those who live in Quiverfull glass houses should not throw above the knee skirt stones.


Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:

If this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our Welcome page and our Comment Policy! Commenting here means you agree to abide by our policies.

Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com

Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus

Check out today’s NLQ News at NLQ Newspaper

Contact NLQ at SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon


Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


TRENDING AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • SAO

    Saying that bright or form-fitting clothes are the clothes of a harlot is damaging. It encourages men to disrespect women with clothes that draw attention to their bodies. But many women, particularly busty women, can’t dress to that their body doesn’t attract attention. When I was younger and the right weight for my height, I had a choice of dressing to that my bust and waist were apparent or dressing so that I looked like I was 30 pounds overweight — something that would bring criticism from Lori, too. And no, I didn’t want attention from strangers and I didn’t wear anything skin-tight.

    In the end, this is basically the right to look down on a young woman who is too attractive to men, regardless of whether the woman seeks the attention or really wishes fewer men were jerks who spend too much time sneaking peaks at her chest.

  • Anri

    Ah, but it’s not just what one wears, it’s how one wears it, an ineffable “harloty” style.

    And you can only tell that by looking.
    And looking and looking and looking and looking and looking and LOOKING and LOOKING…

  • Tawreos

    She doesn’t think that the criteria for dressing like a harlot has changed in the last 300 years? I will bet any amount of money that whatever she is wearing today, would have been thought of as dressing like a whore at some point in the last 300 years. As long as the outfit is appropriate to the occasion, wear what you want and be comfortable.

  • Aloha

    Most modesty Mavens only go after clothes that are “short and tight.” Lori had to add the “expensive” part in her own defense.

    Shes likes to show off her skinniness (and her daughters’ skinniness), so she wears form fitting clothes. Lori just has her own exclusive recipe for what is modesty and what is immodesty. A special dress-code for her followers.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/01f0f33b9ada34ddc7c0f63db2f9dde5189eb8ea84e898936311c7744555206f.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/adcb00390029e40d3fd99882e4c27d6c1bfc69c768ef3c5061b569a8302e65d6.jpg

  • Nea

    Not to mention that the really high-class ones dress like business women. You can’t fish for upscale clients in a fancy hotel looking like you’re selling uprights at a truck stop.

  • Define ‘Appropriate for the Occasion’ for me first.

  • Tawreos

    Not wearing short shorts and a cut off tee to a job interview for an office position.

  • Nightshade

    So I’m a harlot? Huh, my husband thinks I’m his wife. Boy, do I have him fooled. So how does this work? Is there a club, dues to pay, a mailing list? Sign me up!

  • Annerdr

    IIRC, harlots in Rome did not wear purple because there were strict controls on who was allowed to wear purple. Purple was hard to make and a sign of royalty or other high status. Also, unimportant but curious, purple was made from snails.

    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/in-ancient-rome-purple-dye-was-made-from-snails-1239931/

    And also, who cares what other people wear?!

  • I worked at one place where anyone who showed up in a suit went on the ‘only if we are desperate’ list, and short shorts would have been fine. Never dealt with cut off tees, they weren’t a thing back then, but tee shirts were fine.

    How about walking to the park, and sunbathing naked? Is that appropriate?

  • Tawreos

    Well, you work in a different type of office than I do since that attire would not be appropriate nor was it when someone wore that. To be fair the guy that showed up for an interview in basketball shorts and a tank top wasn’t dressed appropriately either. For the other to situations one would have to refer to the laws in the area that they are planning to walk in the park or sunbathe naked in, but as far as I am aware there is no appropriate dress for those situations.

  • Carstonio

    She sounds like a fan of the old soap-opera love triangles, where the “good” woman fights the jezebel who steals men for the fun of it. If she believes her husband will run off with any hot woman in a bikini, what does that say about her view of men and relationships?

  • Edith Prickly, Hamberdler

    Coincidentally (or not?) scarlet and purple are my favourite colours. I don’t see animal prints on there so not all my wardrobe is harlotty. #dontcare

  • smrnda

    Lori, the word ‘harlot’ as well as the concept has kind of dropped from the vocabulary. Saying someone is ‘dressing like a harlot’ is like saying they are ‘dressing like a Roundhead.’ Which, you possibly could in an historical reenactment but that would require very period appropriate clothes. No clothes made today can fit the category.

  • LaMaria

    😮 I see BOOBAGE in those pictures! Cupped bust in the first, omg KNEES!!1! and cleava… I… salts… please, fetch…

  • LaMaria

    Yup, senators were only allowed a purple band on their togas. No way your common or garden variety harlot would have dressed in crimson.

  • persephone

    Lori definitely saw Ken checking out somebody–as if that woman would give him the time of day. Lori, he’s yours to keep; nobody else wants him.

    Lori’s going to have to give up her lipstick, then, because it was required by law in ancient Greece (and other places) to identify prostitutes.

    In ancient Rome, prostitutes were not allowed to wear standard women’s clothing, but had to wear a toga, which was probably about the same length as Lori’s skirts.

    In Japan, prostitutes wore kimono, but tied their obis in the front, for ease of removal. Lori’s going to have to give up her kimono style robes.

    And ladies always wear stockings. Always. Those bare legs, Lori, are just asking for trouble.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Um, her clothing is completely unremarkable. What she’s wearing in the first photo–knee-length dress and boots–is a common outfit for me. I’d maybe go for a color besides black for a dress with long sleeves (I like black and own a lot of it but that’s a little Morticia Addams), but the basic cut is something I could easily see myself wearing to work or something. Hell, today, I am wearing a dress of that length and boots. The dress has no sleeves but I’ve got a cardigan over it because this winter never ends. lol. (Although I wear this same dress without a cardigan so maybe that’s wear “harlot” comes in.) It’s a completely Lori-approved outfit as far as I can tell. Lots of women dress this way. It’s a comfortable, casual look. I can dress up sexy if I want to and sometimes I do but that’s not a daily-basis thing for most women. She has no special modesty points and, also, I don’t get the impression that her clothes are cheap. And, really, why should they be? A higher price tag can just because of a designer’s name or something but it can also just buy you better quality, which is a better investment because it lasts longer. If you can afford the price of good quality, it makes sense to get it.

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Suits are often seen as overkill but I can’t think of any professional environment that I’ve ever encountered that wouldn’t look askance at someone wearing booty shorts to a job interview. If only because those are generally not considered interview-appropriate and part of what you’re looking for in an interview is “Does this person understand basic social norms.” And I’ve worked in some pretty casual offices too, where I was fine to show up in jeans, flip flops and a tank top but I didn’t wear that stuff to the interview.

    As for sunbathing naked in the park, I guess that wouldn’t be appropriate because it’s illegal here (Though you are possibly in Toronto, IIRC?) Which doesn’t mean it’s wrong. The concept of “appropriateness” is entirely determined by socially constructed norms of acceptability. If a community has decided that nude sunbathing in the park is Not Done, then it’s not appropriate to do it there. In other places, nude sunbathing in the park is entirely acceptable and so it’s also entirely appropriate. I personally have no problem with it–though, being a fair-skinned redhead, it’s something I would avoid myself. I enjoy nude swimming when I have the opportunity, because I’m mostly in the water. Then I get out and cover up in my beach sarong, not for modesty but because I don’t want to be a lobster! (And sunscreen is great but not 100%. Plus, annoying to reapply everywhere all the time.)

  • Julia Childress

    My Christian sensibilities are so triggered by the bridal picture. Where to begin? 1. Sleeveless. No, and hell no. My mother taught me that a righteous woman never displays her entire arm and armpit. 2. A neckline with a “V”, is the devil’s way of pointing to the breasts and cleavage, so bridesmaids and Lori, no heaven for you. 3. Knees. OMG, do I have to tell you that the knee is just inches from the thigh, which leads straight up to, well, you know. 4. Peek-a-boo netting and lace. Are you not aware that loose women like to wear netting and lace to entice men by giving a glimpse of the goods, so they’ll go mad with lust? Shame on you, bride, for enticing your male guests to turn their gazes away from your virginal blush toward those parts of you that were designed exclusively for your husband.

  • Saraquill

    Stuff like this makes me hope there are Slut Walks in Lori’s neighborhood.

  • Lol I remember my great grandmother born in 1895 shaming her daughter born in 1926 for wearing Bermuda shorts at home whole doing chores. And she shamed my mom born 1943 for wearing short skirts. Each of them told her, social mores change, and clothing styles change. She called them “common” which was Southern for harlot.

  • Ruthitchka

    I don’t know if I am a harlot or not, but I enjoy the Italian dish, “pasta puttanesca” (spelling?), which translates to “harlot’s pasta”.

  • AFo

    Lori just has to complain about what people are wearing. You could be in a full nun’s habit and she’d say it was too Catholic. There’s no pleasing her. I pity someone who has to go through life that way.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    She’s upset that when she approaches others privately about what they wear they blow her off..

  • Anonyme

    This ^.
    In fact, in the narratives of the Crucifixion, Jesus is said to have been draped in a purple or scarlet robe (the Gospels differ), as a sign of mockery, as His persecutors facetiously hailed Him as “king of the Jews”.

  • Anonyme

    When challenged about her own clothing choices, Lori has a convenient loophole: that’s how Ken WANTS her to dress. Supposedly.

  • That particular boss hated suits (the people) with a passion. Our corporate environment didn’t allow them. Company did pretty well too.

    That was the point I failed to make — appropriate is a cultural artifact.

    No, we can’t walk to the park naked in London Ontario (small city two hours west of Toronto) but both sexes can walk topless. It’s Germany where public naturism is legal.

  • Iain Lovejoy

    Said it before, will say it again, “modesty” in the Bible is about avoiding ostentatious displays of wealth, and has nothing to do with how much skin you show, nor anything to do with being a “harlot”, who were slaves and poor, not rich. “Short” and “fitted to the body” are invented add-ins, so of course that’s what Lori fixates on.

  • Taya

    But.. but… I like my tight, shin length mermaid skirts! Oh wait, I’m not a prurient maid slave living in the bronze age, what a relief.

  • Taya

    That would be city and state dependent.. here, a woman was jailed because a young teen opened her back gate and caught her naked sun bathing, he was selling something… never mind he broke in on her, on her private property with a privacy fence! I could have gotten in trouble when I caught an older teen in the bushes staring through my window when I was changing, had he told his mom, you’d think the kid would get it but this is Virginia.

  • Taya

    In these peoples minds we are all displaying ourselves to steal men and make wives feel crappy. We can’t dress for ourselves because in her mind that’s not a thing… I hate the question, why are you dressed like that… as though my closet was created for someone else.

  • Taya

    Not to mention Roman women were lond gowns and a married woman wore a freaking stola… that’s a lot of fabric, I might be wrong on the length but if I remember they were often 13 feet long..

  • Taya

    You rarely come across an empress wearing scarlet, although it does come up more in the later emperors reigns. I think she forgets dyeing wasn’t an all inclusive affair back then, vermillion wasn’t a color in Europe until it was exported from the americans… purple required literally millions of shells to the be farmed and processed for a trims worth of color.. thank you minoans (you know that dye is illegal now? Its toxic) true blue needed woad, not available until trading and conquest in Britain was up and running. most paints and dyes were pastel because that’s what the local environment offered so few would have any real color at all.. and without chemicals and synthetics brilliant colors were truly rare and thus costly, usually requiring imports. What common harlot could afford what rulers valued as treasure?

  • Taya

    Not in America as far as I have seen. I’ve told my husband I want to addend one in canada… he insists on guards, that poor man.

  • Taya

    Oh oh I have those, I make them…shall we send her a truly modest outfit as a gift? I’ve a penchant for satin but I’ll lower my standards for her!

  • Almost a chimp

    This exchange is at the bottom of the comments over there:

    Oma says:
    April 19, 2018 at 7:40 am
    You talked about “dressing in a way that pleases your husband” what if my husband prefers tight clothes what should I do as a Christian wife?

    Reply
    Lori Alexander says:
    April 19, 2018 at 11:12 am
    Dress to please your husband, Oma. He is the one who will be held responsible if you obey him since he is God’s ordained head over you.

    Talk about throwing her old man under the bus!

  • Fourteen year olds getting married but no nood sunbathing Virginia?

    My mind is in the gutter tonight. I read Virginia as Vagina at first. Caused no end of confusion. Shouldn’t try to read comments during a hockey game.

  • Taya

    Yeah, marriage is godly… sunbathing is sinful. It’s a weird state. It’s ok to marry kids but if a kid peeks through the window it’s my fault. The woman is auto default slut and that isn’t going to change any time soon.

  • That sucks.

    I live in a jurisdiction where women can legally go topless, and where weed will be legal for everyone, not just us medical cases, in a few months. Virginia sounds like it is trapped in the Fifties.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    It is. I left Virginia after many years last year for some of those things, including having to sneak my legally prescribed by my specialist at Johns Hopkins medical marijuana into the state once a month and freaking out worrying I’d get caught.

  • I use medical weed too. Way better pain control than opiates, without having to worry about my liver.

  • Taya

    I will admit to a moment of envy and now I wanna visit! Couch is fine. Lol.

    Only men can be topless, there are large sections of the city that you can get fined or jailed for cursing or saying provocativethings, can’t buy certain things on Sunday, hell most things arent even open on Sunday! Weeds not even overlooked here, most places close early everynight and sale of anything considered immoral stops at minimum at midnight. I live in walking distance to 13 different churches, missionaries flood my street every week. Even the bus system is a joke. Everyone asks where you go to church, there’s been some violence against non Christian’s here and even a few occasions of police turning a blind eye to things done against gays, atheists, pagans etc when the majority is the offender. But hey everyone is morally upright.

    I once went into the woods to meditate, explained when 4 cops came, was escorted home and told to stay. He made it clear he thought I should be jailed and refused to identify. Don’t visit!

  • Been to most of the lower 48, but not Virginia. Maybe someday.

    When travelling in the southern US, I never had to worry. The cops looked at the grey haired white guy wearing the suit, and automatically classified me as a non-criminal. When things started getting nuts during the Obama years I warned my black cousins to stay away.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I use it for my asthma. I’d run out of drug options after being on Xolair injections for 8 years. More effective at keeping me out of life threatening attacks than the Xolair was.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    Good gawd! What part of Virginny is all that taking place? I lived in the NoVa burbs of DC and it wasn’t quite that bad. I know central Va and southwestern Va can be awful

  • Falconlights

    She could just mind her own damn business. I veil and swear long dresses but it is a PERSONAL CHOICE, not some mandate for all women to follow. Lori would be getting in my face for something or other–I guarantee it and would tell her she can go straight to hell if she didn’t like the way I dress.

  • Taya

    Outskirts of norfolk, you know that lovely stretch just outside the historical district where the counties connect before you reach deep south. They try to outdo each other in uprightness. We have a odd mix of country southerners with the hard core religion, the press of churches competing for people at odds, and the ghettos mixed in that always get targeted for morality programs.

    It wasn’t so bad about 5 years ago. Lately the area has taken to the culture wars with a vengeance. The older crowd has been ensuring they are heard, though the governor of the state isn’t too bad. He at least tries to help smooth things out.

    It’s still not nearly as bad as Danville
    (almost everyone knows that place, its reputation is legendary but if you don’t I’ll share the special awfulness so you never get tempted to visit) that place is the gateway to hell if you ask me. Va beach started upping the fines for cursing, new round of police got sworn in and think they swore to protect southern culture too. I used to live right out of DC, I worked there it’s far less oppressive there. Culture isn’t much a thing, people tries to protest shen yun, I mean seriously who takes religious at shen yun?!

  • Ann Nienow Bowen

    She would have had a stroke if she’d been in Vegas with me this past week. I mean really….above the knee shorts on Rubenesque ladies who wore sleeveless polyester tops. Ladies who rent by the hour or night in clingy short dresses with gladiator heels. We won’t even talk about the pool people. OMG. And the bare chested Cirque men and skintight outfits the lady aerialists wore…she’d be having conniptions on top of conniptions.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I used to have a weekend place near Va Beach and it wasn’t as much fun when they started instituting those cursing fines. Yeah, sounds hellish

  • Neat. I didn’t know it worked on asthma too.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    It binds with excess IgE cells in the blood and immune system and turns off extreme allergic overreaction. Plus it relaxes the muscles in the lungs and throat. I have a problem where when I start having allergic asthma my vocal cords slam shut and I pass out. This kills that.

  • BridgetD

    Interesting. I have asthma, chronic pain, and chronic anxiety. I tend to take claims with a grain of salt unless there is substantial evidence backing it (that’s the skeptic in me, pay no mind to it), but it might be something to look into nonetheless.

    That said, I’m admittedly clueless when it comes to medical weed. I’ve never done any sort of recreational drug (including alcohol and tobacco) so there’s that, and marijuana still very much illegal where I live anyway.

  • BridgetD

    Well, I don’t work in an office. Rather, I’m a teacher. Business casual is the preferred attire in local public schools except on set days when we can wear jeans and a school shirt. For interviews, we always wear business casual: nice shirts, skirts, slacks, jackets, no cleavage, no shorts, etc.

    It’s not actually that hard to dress for the part. You just need to know your company and their environment. School districts (as I’ve found out through my own education) seems to over-emphasize professionalism since that’s the image they want to project to the public.

  • lady_black

    She has something against clothing that fits?

  • Iain Lovejoy

    I think the problem is Lori is unhappy with the anything which makes it identifiable that women have actual bodies under their clothes. The very concept of clothes that fit is predicated on the appalling truth that women have a body that they fit to.

  • lady_black

    Oh well. Too bad.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I take the oil form and I was highly skeptical until they prescribed it. Works well for me. Smoking it does not. It has to be eatables.

  • Astrin Ymris

    They’re being sarcastic… and pointing out how subjective and arbitrary Lori’s standards of “modest clothing” are.