Men Cannot Decorate or do Laundry?

Men Cannot Decorate or do Laundry? December 24, 2018

You know, the guys in Quiverfull seem like the weakest, wimpiest, and most useless guys on this planet and many others. Today Nancy Campbell is saying that only women can do things like decorate a house, or make a meal. While there are those men that live like bears with furniture when single, there are fewer and fewer of them as time goes by. Nancy’s claims that men decorate or do laundry on Above Rubies just sounds like so much old made up gender nonsense from the 1950s now.

Nancy Campbell skips right over a class of men that do the decorating thing better than most women – interior designers. Making a house look good enough to live in is not strictly a gendered thing, and I’m not talking about any gay stereotype pushed by Hollywood as designers either.

Some of the best chefs are male, some of the best fashion designers too. Everything on her list with the exception of carrying and birthing babies has zero exclusivity to males or females.

That image she brings up of a two-timing Satan is pretty laughable too. In Nancy’s world Satan seems to have more powers than God, but I guess that is just the fundytown fear mongering she always puts on.

This holds an extra bit of absurdity as we go into the holiday season and there are lots of wonderful men cooking, cleaning and helping out in every way. Men aren’t handicapped like she claims.

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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Jennny

    She’d need the fainting couch to hear my g/son was nearly delivered by one of the UK hospitals’ male midwives – but he just went off duty at the wrong time. 4 yrs on, g/son’s first amazing kindergarten teacher was a male of 25yo, adored by all.

  • Friend

    Without a wife in the home it looks and feels like a bachelor pad. No ambiance. No feminine touches. No hominess

    This is God’s glorious plan.

    …Nancy’s latest entry in How Not to Write.

  • Aloha

    I feel like Nancy has never entered the home of a gay man.

  • Tawreos

    Now, now, some gay men don’t do much decorating. Take me for example, it doesn’t really matter what the place looks like as long as I can be comfortable in it. Which is why my friends invite me to their place and don’t come to mine. =)

  • Kathleen

    It’s like they jumped from actual, physical, biological fact and then stuck in gender norms. I can’t think of any reason why being able to grow and feed a baby should correlate with decorating or cooking.

  • Kathleen

    My daughter’s first kindergarten teacher was a black man (made certain family members VERY uncomfortable though they were wise enough not to say anything)…..he’s AWESOME and we’re hoping our son gets him as well, not that we can request it.

  • Martin Penwald

    Couldn’t you post this earlier? I just finished my laundry, now my day is ruined.

  • Aloha

    Sounds homey to me!

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to be stereotypical, but 3 of my relatives are gay men, and they all have super-stylish homes with all the comforts.

  • Clancy

    One of my son-in-law’s stepfathers is a now-retired second grade teacher, and his home is spotless and beautiful, all without a wife.

  • Saraquill

    My husband is the Sailor Moon enthustiast in our relationship. He’s the one who brought books, DVDs and memorabilia when we moved in together. I collect and customize dolls. Does that mean we’re a married female couple?

  • Friend

    They err badly in assuming that their exceedingly limited lives reflect ancient biblical traditions. Bachelor pad? Ambiance?

  • AFo

    The teacher with the most decorated classroom at my school this year was a man. Even though it’s an all girls’ school, he only let them help put ornaments on the tree and did all the rest of the lights and garland himself. It looked adorable, and nobody gender shamed him about it.

    Also, Nancy, even a single man living in a bachelor pad has to wash his own clothes and dishes.

  • Friend

    She has, but don’t tell her.

  • tatortotcassie

    There is SO much wrongness to unpack in Nancy’s essay! First and foremost, of course she’s not acknowledging that not all womb-possessors are women. Because gender = sex and sex = gender, donchaknow. Then there’s the gender essentialism/sexism, the address to “wives and mothers” (us single women are off the hook, I guess), the claims that repression of women is “God’s plan” . . . and finally, bad writing:

    “God has created us with a womb” — uh, there is not one lone, solitary womb that gets shared among all women, Nancy. Ewww.

    “nourish a babe at our breast” — neither is there a lone, solitary breast getting passed around from nursing mother to nursing mother, Nancy. EWW.

    “Our husband cannot do this” and “to take on their husband’s role” — unless you’re talking about polygamy, Nancy, women are not sharing one lone, solitary husband.

  • Friend

    On the other hand, you just got the rest of the day off…

  • paganheart

    My kindergarten teacher was a man, too! He was a total hippie…this was 1973…who had long hair, wore Birkenstocks, and brought his guitar to class every day and taught us Jim Croce and Arlo Guthrie songs. I’m sure he made several parents very uncomfortable… including mine…but he taught me to read and instilled a lifelong love of music, and I still consider him one of my favorite teachers.

    And BTW, Nancy, as usual, is wrong…both my sister and I married men who love to cook, and who, frankly are better cooks than we are. In fact, hubby and BIL are collaborating on cooking Christmas dinner tomorrow, with us women doing the clean up in exchange. Because, you know, that’s how real adults roll outside the fundie bubble.

  • Mimc

    This makes me think about how aweful it must be to be infertile in that culture.

  • lady_black

    Hmm. Doing laundry… Let’s see.
    Put laundry into washing machine. Add soap and fabric softener to correct, clearly marked compartments on a pull-out drawer. Be sure door is closed (it locks automatically when cycle starts). Select normal cycle for most items, long cycle for heavily soiled items. Push start button.
    Why, a chimp could be trained to do that. Men can’t. Yet, they are to be in charge of everything?

  • Kay Pea

    As a person whose uterus was no good, and who won’t be able to nurse a child either, I felt an “umph” to the gut reading the section about what I was created to do. I can’t do either of the things that are apparently my reason for being here.
    If I was part of Nancy’s cruel and judgemental culture, I think I would feel like a useless chunk of futility.

  • Allison the Great

    This woman just loooooves to say “womb” over and over again as though she thinks this will hypnotize women into becoming the baby breeding machines she thinks we should be. Since she’s complaining that we’re still working and choosing our own paths, it doesn’t seem to be working.

    I hate that word, btw. It’s creepy as hell when someone talks about wombs that way. My iPad keeps trying to suggest I use “wombat” instead. I dare say it’s a vast improvement.

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    Amazing, if you don’t teach your boys to cook with you while they’re growing up, they’re likely to end up living on frozen food when they’re living alone…

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    I remember my mother sorting lights whites and darks. I only ever bothered sorting in to lights and darks. Now i don’t bother to sort by color at all (except i tend to wash new red clothes by hand a few times).
    Haven’t noticed any downsides to not sorting, but it’s not all that complicated anyway

  • Friend

    Odd, innit? Women and men are supposed to be completely helpless without each other. And yet people don’t all marry the second they turn 18, and husbands and wives don’t die on exactly the same day. Could there be a flaw in Nancy’s logic?

  • Friend

    Good for you, escaping from the Cult of Sorting! I can’t get away from it, partly because I’m a miser about buying clothes, and white garments do get a little dingy if you wash them with jeans for about twenty years……. ;^)

  • Friend

    Men can’t. Yet, they are to be in charge of everything?

    Correct. They are too important to learn.

  • lady_black

    I don’t sort, and YES, I will wash new red clothing with other dark stuff for the first time.
    Laundry no longer needs to be sorted, because most whites are labeled not to use chlorine bleach. Also, most items are labeled to wash in cold water, so colors don’t tend to run, and detergents are formulated to work in cold water.

  • Nightshade

    Well, crap. My husband is able to do laundry (doesn’t, because although neither of us really likes it I find it more tolerable than he does), and the pictures/posters on our walls are more his choice than mine (I’m very OK with them, he made the decisions with my full agreement). So he’s more of a homemaker than I am? What does that mean??! Someone, SAVE MY MARRIAGE!!!

  • otrame

    Or, as Heinlein said:

    “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

  • otrame

    That’s a bit of a stereotype, there, loosely based on the fact that the only jobs out gay men were allowed was hairdresser or interior designer.

  • otrame

    Oh, yes. I made sure my sons knew how to cook simple, cheap meals before I let them escape the house. Being able to do so is so much cheaper than buying those frozen and canned dinners. (Also how to fold or hang laundry while still hot, to minimize wrinkles.)

    Now my eldest is the sous chef at a major hotel in the UK and my youngest is a repair guy at a huge apartment complex who loves to cook all the big family meals for the Holidays. Both are happily married (though it took them a second try to get it right).

  • Allison the Great

    I’m gonna sound like a goth here, but I wear mostly blacks and grays, so I don’t sort. The great thing about this is that I don’t have a laundry day, rather, I just compile a bunch of clothes and throw them in the washer when there’s enough for a load. That, or there’s something I want to wear that’s dirty, like my joggers with pockets.

  • Talos2264

    Well i just did three loads of laundry without a hiccup, so i must be doing something right. I enjoy decorating with my wife.

  • Friend

    Now, now, be careful… Nancy will think you use your wife as a household ornament.


  • Astreja

    The only time I sort is when I have bedding to wash (hot water instead of the usual warm), or an item that’s likely to bleed colour and needs to be washed alone. Otherwise I just toss things into the same basket and take it downstairs when I have enough for a load.

  • Astreja

    (tidies up hand tools and boxes of screws on floor of adjoining room, mainly so that she doesn’t trip on something the next time she goes in there to work on the drywall) That’s as “feminine touch” as you’re getting from me today.

  • French Pandora

    I guess I was lied to all my life and I am a man since at nearly 40 I still don’t understand how to use a washing machine. I wish it was a joke

  • persephone

    My kids started doing their own laundry around age 12. Both boys.

  • persephone

    I wash towels separately and bleach the white ones. My bras and some delicate items go on the delicate cycle.

    I have immune disorders so everything gets washed on hot.

  • persephone

    It’s Christmas Eve. Best wishes to everyone celebrating whatever you’re celebrating!

    And many thanks to Suzanne for giving us this home.

  • Astreja

    Best of the season to you as well!

  • French Pandora

    Great for them. One of my ex asked me to wash some of his clothes once. 15 minutes later I was still trying to understand how to do it. I wash all my clothes by hand for this reason.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I was struggling not to paint just get men as interior designers,but you know that is what they think in fundytown

  • Friend

    So you can make millions selling Goth Garanimals, or you can be a Raiders fan. 🙂

  • The Jack of Sandwich

    I think her logic is they SHOULD marry as soon as they turn 18. Or at least not move out of their parents’ homes until they marry.

    I guess widows and widowers are out of luck, though. Make sure you have both a son and daughter as soon as possible so if necessary a son can earn money for his mother or the daughter can keep house for her father if one of the parents dies?

  • Jennny

    Silly story. On a FB group earlier this year, someone asked if anyone remembered a kindergarten teacher at a certain school in the 1970s. That was me. The writer said the teacher always wore Birkenstocks (me) and she loved them so much she went home and tried to make some out of cardboard. Several others said they recalled me too and my footwear. So, I’m not the inspirational teacher who was so passionate about getting them started on reading, writing and maths….I’m the one in the remote rural area who had such unusual sandals, they’re remembered decades later!

  • Quinsha

    Mr Q does his own laundry. I do my laundry. We share on washing stuff like towels and blankets.

  • Jim Jones

    The secret is: We can do it. We just don’t want to!

  • zizania

    My husband is a very good cook, and in fact cooked the entire Christmas dinner except dessert. (I am the Butter Tart Queen.) He also does more than his share of the laundry. House cleaning? Not so much. Left to his own devices, he would soon be tunneling through stacks of books and rampant dust bunnies like one of those people on Hoarders. I actually wouldn’t have minded being a home-maker, if we could have afforded it. As long as I was able to do my volunteer work. The average family can’t afford to have one person staying home full time any more, and I think it’s time these people acknowledged that fact.

  • Anonyme

    My oldest brother does at least half of the cooking and childcare (two rambunctious boys of 4 and 8). He actually acts like an adult male and not a man-child who can’t feed himself or his family.

  • B.E. Miller

    Or maybe she sees single women as defying God somehow? (Like how Debi Pearl says that woman is not married with children has denied God’s plan for their lives. It’s in Debi’s book “Created to Be His Help Meet.”)

    Maybe I should go to ‘Aunt’ Lori’s blog, and ask about single women.