Adultery is no Reason for Divorce?

Adultery is no Reason for Divorce? March 17, 2019

Apparently if you are a cheating man then Doug Wilson of Blog and Mablog along with many of his followers think that it’s not not proper grounds for divorce. I shudder to think what Wilson and pals would think is a reason for a divorce.

One of Wilson’s readers wrote to him to ask what proper things his wife should consider when confronted with his continued adultery. The reader wants to know exactly what issues his wife should ponder in making her decision.

Here’s the husband’s question of Doug.

How about if she thinks she can stand being around him without having the desire to throw up or punch him in the nether regions? Sounds like a place to start, but oh no, not according to Wilson.

Wilson’s solution and his readers is to say that just because Jesus said divorce in cases of adultery  does not mean that you are supposed to do that. His argument is that divorce under any circumstances is wrong and if you remarry you are committing adultery anew.

According to Wilson et al if your husband shows true repentance then you have no grounds to divorce him,  not matter how grave the offense, if he slept with an entire platoon of Marines, well, female Marines because we know that at the same time as Wilson is saying ‘no divorce ever’ he’s also insisting that only non-Christian men sleep with other men.

This is all part of the slippery slope of sexuality that Wilson does not understand. Adultery can be with the same sex, much less the opposite sex. Plus there is a great deal of difference between a man engaging in a one night stand versus a long-standing affair with a person who has been promised that you will leave your wife for a life with them.

My point is that the spectrum is simply one that is too large, and too complex for the Wilsonites to carve up so succinctly. There are no easy or quick answers when you’re dealing with the emotions of the human heart, with hurt, pain, love and hatred. It’s not just as simple as deciding not to divorce. Healing takes time and intentional work. Therapy even. It’s not an easy decision to make or live out.

Here’s also the big game changer that none of them speak of that would likely have them screaming for a divorce. What happens when the cheating spouse is not the husband, but the wife?

Would it still be automatically forgive and heal the marriage if the shoe was on the other sex partner’s foot? Or would Wilson and friends be eager to advise an immediate separation and divorce?

This is just one of those heart breaking issues that other people and the church needs to stay out of and keep their personal opinions to themselves for the good of the struggling couple.

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About Suzanne Titkemeyer
Suzanne Titkemeyer went from a childhood in Louisiana to a life lived in the shadow of Washington D.C. For many years she worked in the field of social work, from national licensure to working hands on in a children's residential treatment center. Suzanne has been involved with helping the plights of women and children' in religious bondage. She is a ordained Stephen's Minister with many years of counseling experience. Now she's retired to be a full time beach bum in Tamarindo, Costa Rica with the monkeys and iguanas. She is also a thalassophile. She also left behind years in a Quiverfull church and loves to chronicle the worst abuses of that particular theology. She has been happily married to her best friend for the last 32 years. You can read more about the author here.

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