Good Christian Wives Should Fake Orgasms?

Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles is busy sounding off on a variety of sex topics on his new blog Biblical Sexology. Basically the entire site can be summed up as:

• Give men sex all the time
• Give men more than one wife
• Have no expectations of men while giving out all that sex
• Fake your orgasms better than a porn star in a film so your man’s fragile ego will not become fatally bruised, leaving him whimpering in the corner like a beaten puppy.

Larry, as usual, reduces marital sex for the woman down to a chore, no different than cleaning out that problematic crisper drawer in the fridge, or scooping out the cat box. No fun, but somebody has to do it. Sex should never be like that! It’s supposed to be a joyous union of bodies and a celebration of the marriage, not a chore for either partner.

I’m not talking about those times everyone has, when one partner wants sex and the other does not. Those happen in the best marriages, due all sorts of reasons. It’s also not uncommon for the partner not feeling it to sometimes have sex when their partner wants it. They do it out of love for the partner, but that does not mean they should fake orgasm!

Larry uses a lot of words stating quite forcefully because there were women lying in the Old Testament that God approves of lying, at least for Godly reasons like sex.

“So if lying is not always wrong, should a woman “fake it” with her husband?

The answer is YES”

Larry gives only two exceptions, if the wife is having unusual pain or the husband is rough in bed. It never dawns on him that this can be a problem the other way, that the wife can desire sex much more often than the man. There are ways to deal with that too that work out happily for everyone, but this does not exist in Larry’s world. Just guys with raging boners and frigid wives.

“When to “fake it”?

Every time you have sex and are not genuinely feeling sexual pleasure from your husband and it is not for the two reasons I mentioned above – you should fake it!”

Guys that want you to ‘fake it’ clearly need some education in the bedroom department. These are the very men that need an education on sex, where the clitoris is, what that particular woman likes and dislikes. This is a guy whose wife needs to speak up in bed, clue him in.

But who am I kidding? In the world of Larry sexual pleasure for the woman during sexy times is a happy accident not a requirement. They would no more ask a woman what she likes in bed than they would learn Sanskrit, or how to tat lace. Which is too bad for them, to learn how to genuinely please their wives would likely result in more frequent and happier sex for everyone.

Guys like Larry just want cooking sex robots they have to put zero effort into maintaining. I only want that level of lack of all effort in my crisper drawer, I want a fridge that automatically deals with it, not a partner. I want a human partner with the entire glorious gamut of emotions, needs, wants, ups and downs, the divine mess of life, not a robot. Robots are for floors and refrigerators.

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