When my husband and I married, I assumed because we loved each other, marriage would be easy. I’d never thought about how to build a strong marriage. I didn’t think it would be so much work. I discounted the impact of pain from unresolved hurts in my life. After the euphoria of the wedding and honeymoon died down, life set in. And my old hurts were coupled with new ones. Unmet expectations snowballed into anger and bitterness. Along with insecurities,... Read more
Being FAT has nothing to do with the size of your rear, but it could be good for your marriage. Do men like FAT women? You bet they do. If you’re looking for a way to increase harmony in your marriage, FAT may be just what you need. I wish someone had encouraged me to gain some early in my marriage. I was in my early 20’s and really wasn’t concerned about it. In fact, FAT was the least of... Read more
Have you ever wanted something so badly but when you got it, it didn’t work out the way you’d imagined? Ever find yourself wondering why your marriage isn’t working out as you’d planned only to discover, sadly, there’ll be no enjoyment without some effort on your part? When I was 9 years old, I wanted only one thing for Christmas: A Barbie Dream House with three floors of high-styled fun, fancy furniture that filled six really big rooms, and a... Read more
Has your husband ever given you a gift that made you cry? Not because it was so good but because it was so, so bad? People only say, “It’s the thought that counts” to dull the pain of a crummy gift. Who’s cares about the “thought” while trying to wrap your head around what you’re holding in your hands? Especially when it’s your first Christmas as a newlywed and you’re left holding unmet expectations. Let me start at the beginning.... Read more
One night during dinner when I was 8 years old, my little brother started teasing me. I picked up a handful of spaghetti and flung it across the table at him. My face burned. My eyes stung with tears. I was close to popping him in the nose. Sure it was an irrational move, and it only made the situation worse. But I didn’t care. He’d hurt my feelings, and I wanted to hurt him back. Sometimes when my husband... Read more
Have you ever said, “Not tonight. I’m tired” when you really meant, “Not tonight. I feel fat?” Is a negative body image ruining your sex life? Studies show half of women avoid being intimate because they’re uncomfortable with the shape of their bodies. Nothing can kill the mood faster than negative body image. Sex is one of the most important aspects of marriage. But if you struggle with body shame, achieving sexual intimacy’s gonna be a problem. You’ve come to... Read more
One bad year turned into two and before I knew it, we were creeping up on five years of misery. Sure we’d had some good times, but secretly our marriage felt like an episode of Marriage Bootcamp. Hard and full of drama. Marriage was a bigger challenge than I’d ever imagined. I’d gone into it with pretty simple expectations. I’d expected he’d make me happy. When he didn’t, I got angry and bitter. I was sad. I got mean. He... Read more
I was done. Finito. Tapped out. I felt like a single parent. When my husband wasn’t traveling for work, he was at work. I was already raising the kids and doing life by myself. I felt like he was only a paycheck. It wouldn’t make much difference if he physically brought it home or sent it in the mail. I complained to a girlfriend. She asked me a question which not only shocked me and made me mad, but also... Read more
1. Choose a man who will treat you like a lady. I believe in equal work for equal pay and in treating women with respect. But I don’t believe you are equal to a man in every way. A good man will feel responsible for you. He will work hard to provide for you and to keep you happy and safe. Understand the burden he bears to be that man for you. 2. Choose a man who will make you a... Read more
What do a black lace teddy and conflict have in common? If you’re in either of them too long, they can creep into places they were never designed to go. And, when they do, uh. . . you’ve got more trouble than a little discomfort. Let me explain. I’ve had the unpleasant experience of wearing a teddy for eight hours. I was a 22 year-old newlywed. I laughed in the face of gravity, and airport security was nothing like it... Read more
The Not So Excellent Wife
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In