The year of grace 1654, Monday, 23 November, feast of St. Clement, pope and martyr, and others in the martyrology. Vigil of St. Chrysogonus, martyr, and others. From about half past ten at night until about half past midnight, FIRE. GOD of Abraham, GOD of Isaac, GOD of Jacob not of the philosophers and of the learned. Certitude. Certitude. Feeling. Joy. Peace. GOD of Jesus Christ. My God and your God. Your GOD will be my God. Forgetfulness of the world and... Read more
Associate Editor’s note: This Dark Devotional was written reflecting on the Feast of Christ the King, the end of the Church year. I thought it fitting now, at the beginning of a new calendar year. Hope you will too. Happy new year. -Matt The year is nearly over. Today marks the beginning of the end. Next Sunday we begin the new year with the start of Advent. It is almost as though we have finished our journey. Our quest is... Read more
“It’s a cage. It’s a cage. No, it’s a real cage.’” –Ta-Nehisi Coates At age two or three, after dark, I stood on my home’s stoop, the limits of where I was allowed outside the house, and because of the steps up to this vantage point, I could see the man sitting in a cage, naked, or almost naked. The cage, in the back of a police pick-up, had bright lights attached to the truck and pointed... Read more
I have always struggled with the Beatitudes. “Blessed are _______ for they will ______.” Fill in the blank. I can’t help but sigh, “really?” and “when?” “Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted” When? “Rejoice and be glad; your reward will be great in heaven.” That has never comforted me. What about now? What about this life? Does it not matter? Will we feel any relief during our days in waiting for the coming? “Your reward... Read more
When I was in graduate school, I read a lot of books by American Buddhists and Tibetan Buddhists who’d come to the US. (This was not what I was studying, but this is what I read. Maybe this is why I had to delay my comps by a semester.) In one of the books, the author suggests moving throughout your day imagining that all the people around you were once your mother, moving about in that tenderness. I think of... Read more
In December, in the year 2000, I was 21 years old and four months pregnant. I was staying with my Great Aunt Kathleen in her Chicago flat. The ancestral silence of the place was stifling. After months of desperation, contemplation, research, and prayer, I was planning to give my child up for adoption. I had no money, no home, no degree, no solid plans for the future, no spouse. I did have a fierce love for my unborn child,... Read more
Christmas is complicated. On one hand, the music is familiar, the smells are sweet, the ornaments are sentimental, the snow sparkles, the air is crisp and easier to breathe, the presents are piled high under the tree. On the other hand, we can’t turn back time as much as we wish to, we can’t make gifts from nothing, we can’t wish people different, we can’t strong-arm good into triumphing over evil. The holidays are lonely. Even in rooms filled with... Read more
As I read and meditated on this Sunday’s readings, I couldn’t get a question out of my mind. If the theme is that Jesus is the descendant of King David and fulfills the promises made by God to his chosen people, then why insert the conclusion of the Letter to the Romans. After dwelling on the question for some time I came to the conclusion that the keyword for understanding this choice is “wisdom.” St. Paul speaks of wisdom more than... Read more
For the past two weeks, I’ve been troubled by Jesus’ admonition to stay awake and be ready. In the Gospel for the first week of Advent, he described the servants, left to do their work when the master went away. What is the work that I am left to do, that I am supposed to be doing, so that I am ready and awake when Christ comes again? It bothers me to admit that I don’t know what this work... Read more
Here I am at 11pm, in the final hour of the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. And I’m doing that thing again. That thing I do when I’m staying up too late because my day felt meaningless. I want to do something fulfilling with these late hours after my kids are in bed (they are 4, 3, and 10 months old). Instead, all I do is scroll my phone or stare out the window because so much infant- and... Read more
Sick Pilgrim
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