October 2, 2018

From the time I started dating at age sixteen, I’ve often found myself attracted to my polar opposite – for better and for worse. Likewise, I’ve counseled many couples who are drawn to their opposite because of strong chemistry but find day to day married life a struggle due to conflicting interests and needs.   What do we know about a couples staying power if they are opposites? Recent research suggests that it depends on what characteristics you are examining. Actually, some… Read more

September 27, 2018

Dear Terry, I’m divorced and I’ve been dating someone for a few months now. Kyle was basically a friend before we started dating. My kids are seven and nine. They knew him as a friend before and they seem to like him. My ex knows know that I am dating Kyle and we communicate pretty well. Our kids have shared custody and a good relationship with both of us. My ex is dating and we both approve of each other’s… Read more

September 25, 2018

You will disagree with your partner, that’s a given. But it’s not arguing with him or her that’s the problem, it’s how your differences are managed. Love means risking occasionally getting your feelings hurt because it’s the price you pay for intimacy. Most of us dislike conflict. But while conflict may appear to be a destructive force in relationships, it can actually help us achieve lasting love. In all intimate relationships, conflicting needs for closeness and space exist. When issues come up… Read more

September 20, 2018

Dear Terry, I’ve been married once, and we were not even married quite a full year when we divorced. But my ex ended up not being faithful so we ended things. I was only 21 and now I’m somewhat older (28). From reading some articles, it says that trust is one issue that can be hidden and surface later on when we get into an intimate relationship. Now I’m in a committed relationship with a wonderful man named Brad and… Read more

September 17, 2018

In spite of the fact that the so-called “grey divorce” rate more than doubled in the last two decades, there are few guidelines for adult children dealing with their changing family. Many adult children of divorce (ACODS) experience loyalty conflicts because they feel that they have to pick sides. Even if they don’t take sides, they may feel stressed trying to maintain appropriate boundaries — especially if their parents are angry foes. Truth be told, ACODS may find themselves in plenty of tricky situations… Read more

September 12, 2018

Dear Terry, My husband and I have been married for six years. When we started dating, it was like fireworks going off every time we were together. We could not keep our hands off of each other. In the past three years, things have really soured between us and I am no longer in love with him.  His business went belly up a few years ago and that’s when he just stopped caring about everything, especially me. Prior to losing… Read more

September 10, 2018

Perhaps one of your biggest disappointments for people who are breaking up or divorcing a difficult ex, one who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder; or one with narcissistic traits, is that co-parenting with him or her will be a challenge and in many cases impossible. Parents in this situation must face this reality, learn coping skills, and have realistic expectations if they have children and strive to protect them from being stuck in the middle or emotional abuse. One of my… Read more

September 6, 2018

Dear Terry, My ex-husband was unfaithful to me and left me suddenly for a woman that he was having an affair with. It has been a horrible time in my life but I realize that I had a part to play in his leaving suddenly. It’s not my fault he was unfaithful but I never allowed him to explain things related to his affair and I regret this. It might have helped me gain closure because I have a lot… Read more

September 4, 2018

Over the last decade, I’ve talked to a lot of friends and clients who have had difficulty forgiving their former partner or ex-spouse for hurtful actions. At times, people equate forgiveness with weakness and it’s also widely believed that if you forgive someone you’re condoning their behavior. In my case, I held a grudge against my ex for many years and was unable to forgive him for his part in our divorce because it made me feel vulnerable to being… Read more

August 30, 2018

When it comes to relationships, it’s easier to focus on problems rather than to see your partner as a loving, caring person. However, if you want to deepen your bond with him or her, the first step is to decide together to carve out a 20-minute conversation daily and make it happen regardless of your busy schedules. Decide on the logistics such as the best location, pour yourselves a cold beverage, and begin. When I started making a 20-minute conversation… Read more

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