6 Effective Ways to Apologize to Your Partner

Last updated on: November 2, 2021 at 11:34 am By Terry Gaspard

Studies show that apologizing to your partner for hurting their feelings and granting forgiveness are crucial to the success of an intimate relationship or marriage. It’s essential that couples learn the value of sincere apologies and forgiveness. For instance, one of my clients, Lauren, 36, had been feeling resentment toward Kevin, 38, for several months since he loaned his sister money without consulting her. Even when Kevin gave Lauren a sincere apology and asked for forgiveness, she had been holding... Read more

4 Things to Consider When Expressing Your Needs to Your Partner

Last updated on: November 1, 2020 at 2:34 pm By Terry Gaspard

Many couples come to my office for counseling looking for advice about how to express their needs effectively to their partner. For good reason, they often express frustration about not getting their needs met. For instance, Alison was tired of asking Steve to get off of his X Box and go for a walk with her, and to help cook dinner for their family. She had tried many tactics but nothing had worked so far. More importantly, Steve didn’t seem... Read more

Mother’s Day: Reflections on Mothers and Daughters

Last updated on: November 1, 2020 at 2:35 pm By Terry Gaspard

Being a mom has always felt like an honor, a gift – something to feel proud of! However, no one prepared me for how much my relationship with my daughters would change as they matured. Too much closeness, misunderstandings, love, and conflicts – there are many ways to describe the mother-daughter relationship and not a lot of research to draw from. Truth be told, I’ve always felt overly responsible for my daughters happiness and sense of self worth. Perhaps it’s... Read more

6 Warning Signs That Your Marriage is in Serious Trouble

Last updated on: November 2, 2021 at 11:31 am By Terry Gaspard

A healthy, intimate relationship is built on trust and vulnerability which involves sharing your innermost feelings, thoughts, and wishes. It’s important to remember that all couples have perpetual problems. In a healthy relationship, you can develop tools to deal with them, but not necessarily solve all of them. However, sweeping issues under the rug only works for so long. Because when couples have deep-seated resentment, it’s one of the signs your relationship is over and it can be a challenge for... Read more

Coping with Cororanvirus Through Practical Psychology

Last updated on: April 24, 2020 at 9:43 am By Terry Gaspard

In a recent essay for the website Open Democracy, Willem Kuyken analyzes the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic from a mental health stand point, arguing that the crisis is “wreaking havoc… on our well-being… [and] holding up a mirror to our vulnerability in every sense.” I agree with Kuyken that the coronavirus has upended our sense of normalcy and certainty, and the financial instability at the center of many of our lives has brought a collective anxiety to the surface.... Read more

6 Ways to Save Your Marriage During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Last updated on: April 18, 2020 at 6:02 pm By Terry Gaspard

Dear Terry, I’ve been reading your column for awhile and need advice about how to make it through the pandemic without getting a divorce. The problem is that my husband and I are not good at dealing with stress and we’ve really reached out boiling point with home-schooling our three kids, unpaid bills, waiting for the stimulus check, and trying to work at home. Also, I need to tell you that one of our kids has special needs and he... Read more

7 Ways to Avoid Partners Who Are Wrong for You

Last updated on: April 12, 2020 at 6:06 pm By Terry Gaspard

Many people who are in toxic relationships ask themselves “Why do I fall for partners who are bad for me?” Or, “How can I be sure to pick a partner who is a good match for me?” Maura, put it this way: “I have an instinct to “fix” every man I date. My counselor says I’m co-dependent and that I tend to try to save men who treat me badly. How can I change this pattern around and have healthy... Read more

7 Tips for Co-Parenting During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Last updated on: April 5, 2020 at 2:26 pm By Terry Gaspard

These are challenging times for families coping with at staying at home, financial stress, home-schooling, anxiety, fears about becoming ill, and sharing space with others who are quarantined or working at home. Stress can cause people to be irritable and inpatient. Many divorced parents are finding themselves in unchartered territory when it comes to carrying out a co-parenting plan. However, one topic that hasn’t been covered much by the press is co-parenting after divorce during the pandemic. At its best,... Read more

12 Self-Care Tips That Can Help You Cope with the Coronavirus

Last updated on: March 28, 2020 at 7:20 pm By Terry Gaspard

If you’re feeling scared, or even terrified about the future, remember that we’re all in unchartered territory with the COVID-19 pandemic. Perhaps the worst part of this crisis for many is the growing uncertainty about when things will get back to normal. We ask ourselves daily: when will the Corona Virus subside so we can take back our lives and resume our former routine? For instance, Claire, age, 38, is stressed about being the primary breadwinner now that her husband,... Read more

3 Action Steps to Show Appreciation to Your Partner During COVID-19

Last updated on: March 22, 2020 at 10:21 pm By Terry Gaspard

Without a doubt, letting your partner know that you understand them and validating their perspective are powerful ways to preserve your marriage during this COVID-19 virus crisis. This includes showing appreciation for one another by offering sincere and positive appreciation. My challenge to you is this: follow the action steps below and be sure to express appreciation to your partner twice a day. In Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Dr. John Gottman writes, “With a little effort and empathy, you can... Read more