There are a lot of feelings and emotions that come with divorce – anger, betrayal, despair, guilt, rejection, uselessness, fear, elation – and they all go with the territory. You may feel confused as you establish your new identity and move on to develop new relationships. It’s normal to desire new intimate partners and to experiment with dating – but be prepared to feel mistrustful and insecure at times. The experience of going through a divorce can change your perceptions;... Read more
When you become a parent, the demands of juggling time with your kids, work, and spending quality time with your partner can be a challenge. In addition, most parents of young children are sleep deprived, so it’s natural for intimacy and romance to decline. While it’s expected that both sexual and emotional intimacy will die down after kids arrive on the scene, if you make your relationship a priority, it doesn’t have to take a huge dip. Here are 5 ways to... Read more
Mistrust can come in many forms, from suspecting your partner of infidelity, to fearing that he or she will abandon you emotionally or physically. Some people who have trust issues become “relationship junkies” looking for partners to be the salve for their wounds. Others freeze out the option of finding love, for fear of being hurt. Even if you find yourself in a reasonably healthy relationship, you may still be unable to trust your partner. Sometimes, he or is simply... Read more
Dear Terry, My husband recently moved out and left me for another woman. This person is someone he worked with that I thought I could trust and it left me feeling betrayed and devastated. I’m not taking good care of myself lately, stopped going to the gym, and I’m not eating regular meals. It feels like I’m just trying to survive the breakup. I have two children, ages 8 and 10 and my husband didn’t even say goodbye to his... Read more
Expect plenty of storms in remarried life. The complications of a newly created stepfamily or blended family can be daunting and it can take years for the family “norms” to take hold. Conflict and rivalries between family members – especially stepparents and stepchildren – can make day to day life stressful and chaotic at times. Most experts agree that it can take a remarried family up to four years to reach a state of equilibrium. For instance, Justin and Maggie... Read more
Since I am an adult child of divorce who divorced with two children, I’ve always wondered about the rights of children of divorce. As a result, I interviewed hundreds of adults raised in a divorced homes to learn more about their perspective on this topic. In fact, my research on children of divorce spans a few decades I’ve been impressed with the wisdom of respondents who are struggling to understand the impact of divorce on their lives and choices so... Read more
I recently read a study by the American Sociological Association that discovered that women initiate two thirds of all divorces, an astounding 69% to be exact. This fact caused me to ask the following questions: What can women do to prevent divorce? And how can we break the negative pattern of relating that can lead to the demise of our marriages? First of all, it’s important to become conscious of your expectations. Dr. Brené Brown writes, “The fastest way for an expectation... Read more
If you think it will take grand gestures to show your spouse how much you adore them, you are wrong. In fact, many studies show that the formula needed to create long-lasting love is made up of small gestures such as giving your partner a kiss when you depart for the day. Another small gesture that expresses love is bringing him or her a hot cup of coffee without them asking you to do so. One of the things that... Read more
For years, I struggled to save my second marriage from the brink of divorce because I bought into many myths about remarriage. However, I was determined to beat the odds and avoid a second divorce so I began to explore some of the myths and unrealistic expectations that were causing me to feel pessimistic and unhappy with my marriage. While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available census... Read more
Do you wish that you could skip over the holidays? The sound of Christmas music can be heard on almost every radio station. But if you listen closely, you’ll also hear the sounds of children suffering from stress overload. Our fast paced lifestyles include demanding jobs (paid an unpaid), lack of quality sleep, and financial stress, which, if combined with the holidays can keep the body in a state of chronic stress. The body’s reaction to stress is to increase... Read more
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