June 19, 2015

UPDATED 7/1/15 … I KNEW IT! It was all a fabrication. Never doubt me, people. … When I moved into my new home I announced the arrival that the Papists where coming, not with trumpets and loud gongs, but with statuary. Lots and lots of statuary. My yard looks like a damn cemetery minus the dead people. In other words, I have a relentlessly Catholic yard. I also know for a fact that my relentlessly Catholic yard annoys the hell... Read more

June 13, 2015

… Catholic Viral mashed up a few posts from Holy Whapping, Acts of the Apostasy, and yours truly to create this bit of amazing. You’re looking at a design by Catholic Viral based on proposed Catholic comedies and reality TV shows that need to exist now. The above is a reality series I suggested based on large Catholic families, where camera crews follow a day in the life of the Donaldson clan. Below is a redecorating show based on an... Read more

June 10, 2015

… Catholic things that end up in my media feed. Padre Pio + tonsures = Catholic bad assery St. Ann’s Catholic Church in Charlotte has a beautiful new mural. but… Tu etiam levare, fra? I kid. I kid. I can’t wait to see the mural installed. St Ann is easily the most beautiful church in the area. But don’t get too attached the six pack, ladies. I have it on good authority that St. John the Baptist will be covered... Read more

June 6, 2015

… Diet update, week whatever. Current weight : 279 (yeah it went up) Current mood : whatever, pass the nachos Projected outcome : Who the hell cares Warning: I’m about to drop a couple well deserved expletives. Clear the kids out of the room. Things I’ve Learned – There is so only so much poached chicken a person can eat – Don’t look at yourself in the mirror while working out. It’s not pretty. source Inspiration – These people, I... Read more

June 3, 2015

… The question of why we remain Catholic has been asked of the Patheos writers, in response to Pew Report stating our numbers are dwindling. I’m not much for big word-y words, preferring to keep it straightforward. I’m Catholic and plan to remain so until I die and my big fat Catholic soul flies off to Catholic Heaven – the part of Heaven where the alcohol and fireworks are kept in ample supply. The existence of Catholic Heaven has been... Read more

June 2, 2015

… I keep reading about how Bruce Jenner is finally being “true” to himself by becoming a herself. I guess when truth is subjective anything is possible. There is nothing truthful about Bruce Jenner’s appearance on the cover of Vanity Fair. It’s facial feminization surgery, synthetic hormone treatments, plastic breasts, corsets, cosmetics, studio lighting, professional hairstylists, renowned photographers, and photoshop. Lots and lots of photoshop. It’s a gross caricature of womanhood. It’s pantomime. Sexist black face. It’s insulting to imply... Read more

May 28, 2015

… Look. I’m writing about something that has nothing to do with dieting. Be amazed. So here’s a happy story about a woman who prayed to St. Ann and got herself a man. Not just any man… a Swiss Guard. You want to call me obsessive about anything, call me obsessive about the Guardia Svizzera Pontificia. Sigh. So molto bello. What’s not to love? Handsome, single, manly, and Catholic. I’m happy for the soon-to-bride. No, really I am. I love... Read more

May 25, 2015

… What week is it now? Something like Week 7, I think. For a gal who couldn’t commit to a nine day novena, I think 7 weeks is not too shabby an accomplishment. Current Weight : 277.8 (down 7.2 lbs) Current Mood : Vacation Mode Projected Outcome : I’ll be drinking my calories this weekend Things I’ve Learned – Pacing yourself to prevent injury and sore knees – That unsolicited advice ins’t necessarily criticism – That dramatically reducing your calories... Read more

May 20, 2015

… On the cover of People Magazine is model Tess Holliday. The headline heralds, “The World’s First Size 22 Super Model, From Bullied Teen to Plus Size Star.” As everyone else celebrates this new diversity in the fashion industry, I can’t help but feel alarmed that so many people are ok with a 5’5″ tall woman weighing 260 lbs and being a size 22. At 5’9″ I’m 20 lbs heavier than she is and a size larger. When I look... Read more

May 17, 2015

… When you’ve been stuck in traffic for over an hour and just don’t feel like cooking and everyone’s complaining that they’re hungry, you hear the siren song of delivery pizza. When you’ve been going nonstop since you woke up at the crack of dawn and you don’t stop till the end of the day and you can’t bear the thought of dragging out the resistance bands and exercise mat. When you have a million reasons to take short cuts... Read more

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