Portly pastor in a pickle over women going to pot after tying the knot

Portly pastor in a pickle over women going to pot after tying the knot March 7, 2021

A MESSAGE from the pulpit to Christian women: stand by your man through thick and thin … but mainly thin.

Image via YouTube

That was the message conveyed in a sermon last month by pastor Stewart-Allen Clark, above, of the First General Baptist Church in Malden, Missouri – and it did not go down well.

Such was the outrage it caused that the church, according to this Christianity Daily report, yesterday issued a terse statement that said Clark is no longer around.

As of March 2, 2021, Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark has taken a leave of absence and is seeking professional counseling.

Clark’s sermon, posted to YouTube by The Friendly Atheist, centred on the “needs” of men, specifically husbands, and how good it would be for Christian women accommodate those needs.

He emphasised the necessity of staying physically “attractive” in order to keep the marriage healthy. He laid the burden of protecting marriage on wives, but did not admonish men for growing porches over their playgrounds as he’d obviously done.

I want you to know a need that a man has that he won’t ever tell you about, but since I’m the preacher man, I’ll say it. Your man needs an attractive wife.

And he questioned why women stopped caring about their physical beauty after  marriage.

Why is it that so many times, women, after they get married, let themselves go? Here’s how way too many women are – ‘I’ve got him now the chase is over.’

In most parts of the sermon Clark repeatedly stressed how crucial it was for wives to remain beautiful in the eyes of their husbands.

I really don’t think women understand how important it is for a man to have a beautiful woman on his arm. It’s really important to a man to do that.

Clark argued that, although not all women should aim at become trophy wives looking like Melania Trump, they could at least try not looking “butch.”

Men have a need for their women to look like women. Sweatpants don’t cut it all the time. Wearing flip-flops and pajamas to Walmart, that ain’t gon’ work. Ain’t nothing attractive about that. Men want their wives to look good at home and in public. Can I get an Amen?

He added:

God made men to be drawn to beautiful women. We are made this way. We can’t help ourselves. We are like that. That’s how God made us. Do you think Eve wasn’t attractive in the garden? He made men to be attracted to beautiful women.

You can call it juvenile, you can call it immature, you can call it sexist, whatever you want to, but here’s another secret for you to know. … Men are going to look; you want them to look at you.

Clark also urged women to make themselves “sexually available” for their husbands by virtue of 1 Corinthians 7:4 which states:

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Naturally, the media, including Heavy.com, (titter ye not) began pointing and laughing at the portly pastor.

Image via YouTube

It reported that Clark insisted that not gaining weight after marriage was so important that a friend:

Has put a ‘divorce weight’ on his wife.

Pointing to a well-known meme of a man turning to look at an attractive woman, he said:

Don’t give him a reason to be like this distracted boyfriend. You hear me? Don’t give him a reason to be looking around. Hello?

And The Roys Report threw in one of Clark’s “jokes”:

Scientists have discovered, by the way, a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.

All the media attention prompted the church to scrap its online presence. Its Facebook page, for example, no longer exists.

The website for the church is still up, but its contact information is gone.

General Baptist Ministries then posted this on Facebook:

Time to toss in one of my favourite quotes from G W Foote, who launched the Freethinker in 1881:

It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible.

• Please report any typos/errors to barry@freethinker.co.uk

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