Gateway Goddess: Seeking God, Found by Goddess (Why I Am Pagan)

When I was a child, I wondered why God had stopped talking to people in the cool of the evening, as we walked together through lovely gardens.

None of the answers I got seemed adequate. I eventually left Christianity in search of something else.


A Sumerian bas relief of Inanna.

Years later, in a  guided meditation, I found myself  in a beautiful garden. A glowing female form approached and embraced me. I felt whole, complete, loved unconditionally. But who was She?

I stopped at a metaphysical bookstore. I thumbed through the displays. There, on a laminated card of “Goddesses of the World,” was Inanna, Sumerian Goddess of Heaven and Earth. She was exactly as I had seen Her in my meditation.

I asked a clerk for information about Inanna. She suggested Patricia Monaghan’s The Goddess Path. And I read for the first time the story of Inanna’s descent into the underworld in search of knowledge, Her death and resurrection, and Her return to wholeness and power. In that dark time of my life, She had come to bring hope. And from that moment, there was no more seeking, because I had been found. From then, my path was  a Pagan one.

This post is a contribution to Patheos’ Blogger Challenge, asking writers to explain their religious choices in 200 words or less.

Other responses from the Pagan Channel: Steven T. Abell, Yvonne AburrowJohn BeckettAine Llewellyn, Angus McMahanJason MankeyJen McConnel, Sarah Twichell, Sam WebsterGus diZerega.

Gateway Goddess is published on alternate Fridays. Follow it via RSS or e-mail!

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Wyrd Words: Pagan Life Lessons – Adaptability
About Kathy Nance

Kathy Nance is freelance writer and green entrepreneur who lives in suburban Missouri. She has a B.S. with majors in mass communications, sociology and English. She has worked as a newspaper education reporter, feature writer and editor. Her freelance work has been published in general circulation and specialty publications in the U.S. and Great Britain. Before coming to Patheos she was a featured writer for Civil Religion, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch interfaith blog. She has organized both large and small public Pagan celebrations bringing together groups from a variety of traditions in the St. Louis area. She leaves offerings to the Fey and to her ancestors, as well as a multi-ethnic family of Gods and Goddesses who so far are content to share altar space. She can be found expressing opinions on a daily basis on Facebook and Google+, or @GatewayGoddess on Twitter.

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  • Amanda

    I had a similar experience with Brigid- she came to me in a dream, but I was already Pagan. :-)

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  • Editors

    Very nice! Strange how children are taught not to listen to the magical world as they grow. Finding the goddess above, I feel, is a step toward finding the goddess within.

    Our new article is a celebration of the goddess inside every woman; it is a wild, mystical autumn night of freedom, sisterhood and love under the stars. Enjoy!
    “Fireflies begin their dance in the wildflowers, grasshoppers sway on the bracken; the sun sets as we light the fire for our dance, our time. Tonight is our night. Guests appear in the thicket one by one as if by magic, as if we have all heard the same voice calling us to this place, this time. You aren’t sure how you knew to come, or how you found the path; you almost didn’t come, but now you are here…”

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