Hate in the Name of Love, Bullying in the Name of Tolerance

Well, I stirred up a hornet’s nest.  You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you.  But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post.  They were pretty simple.  Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Oh, and in that post I also said generally kids do better with mother/father families – the kind of family I’d like to have for Tripp one day.

That’s it.  That’s pretty much the post.  (Yes, I made a little joke about Swiper the Fox, but anyone with a brain would know that wasn’t serious.)  You see arguments like that all the time in political magazines.  It’s not a big deal, and the people who make arguments like that don’t stir up much controversy.

But I’m not a pundit.  I’m just a mom made famous in one of the most intense and embarrassing ways possible – by having your teen pregnancy announced in the middle of a presidential campaign.  Oh, and I was a finalist on Dancing with the Stars, one of the most-watched shows on TV.  But all that means I’m more a part of pop culture, the culture that creates the television we watch and the music we listen to.  When real pundits write blog posts, they don’t pop up in Us Weekly… but mine do.

And I’m glad.  Why?  Because pop culture needs a little bit of debate.  It needs a little bit of disagreement.  Because not everyone who watches their shows or listens to their music thinks the way the directors, producers, and actors think.  When you’re in Hollywood you’ll meet some great people, some terrible people, and many somewhere in between.  In other words, they’re people just like everyone else.  But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion.  For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted.  (Of course, I’m not the only one facing the wrath of the Hollywood-type sheeple – there are some celebrities bold enough to speak out, and they get attacked and ostracized too.)

If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, or read the entertainment magazines, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with.  If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely?

You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Bullying is in the news lately, for good reason.  It’s horrifying to see stories of young people taking their own lives because they can’t see past the hate of others.  Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world.  Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?  Here’s a sampling that we didn’t put up on the blog:

 

And if you read the comments we let through, the only word that really sums them up is “bullying.”  They treat me as if I’m not human, as if they are somehow proving how great they are by (always anonymously, the cowards) tearing me apart with their words.

Here’s the thing.  In the articles and comments, I saw a lot of hate and a lot of bullying, but you know what I didn’t see much of?  Arguments.  In fact, this reminds me a little bit of the incident in an L.A. bar that went viral several months ago and will be shown in its entirety in my upcoming new reality tv show.  There, a guy started yelling at me and called my mom terrible names, but couldn’t tell me one decent reason why he was filled with so much hate.

Here’s a news flash, guys.  Your hate and bullying don’t work.  People see through it, and they don’t like to be pushed around.  You think it’s completely obvious that you’re right, but this younger generation is more pro-life than their parents, and voters just keep defending traditional marriage.  Why?  Why would we if you’ve been telling us what to think for all these years?

Because we think for ourselves.  And we’ll keep thinking for ourselves no matter what you call us.  So keep sending the hate, but realize that hate doesn’t win arguments.
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A Mom’s Love for Her Blind Son, One Paper at a Time

Well, there’s been a lot of action on my blog this week!  I welcome all my new readers… even you guys who don’t agree with me on my recent post.  Today, I’m posting something uplifting…  something we can all agree on.  This Mother’s Day weekend, as you run around town looking for a gift for Mom, this video will inspire you. It’s a mother telling the story of her blind son’s birth and life, one piece of paper at a time.  I love the different emotions she shows on her face between the papers…  you can tell she’s been through a lot, but she’s not broken and is not in despair.

Anyway, if there are any struggling mothers out there this weekend, you might find inspiration in this mom’s determination and love.

And for the rest of you — here’s a hint: all Moms love chocolate!

 

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On This One, I’m Team Hillary

Recently, the Drudge Report put a photo of Hillary Clinton’s face at the top over the headline: “Au Naturel.”  The photos were snapped in Bangladesh and India over the weekend, and people began chattering about how she didn’t look as polished as normal. Though she was wearing red lipstick – and cool glasses! — she didn’t wear foundation.  After the Drudge link appeared, the Washington Post said she looked like a schoolgirl, the Atlantic approved of her appearance, and Fox News said she looked “tired and withdrawn.”

Isn’t it crazy how a little decision like, “should I wear my foundation today?” ended up getting so much national attention?  I’m not a Democrat or an important leader, but it seems a little overdone.

When I was on Dancing with the Stars, I was only nineteen years old. I was active and fit, but I did gain five to ten pounds over the course of the show.  At my heaviest, I was still thinner than a lot of girls my age, but heavier than I am now. I’m not saying this because I’m somehow proud of how I looked on that show. Rather, I’m saying that I’ve been the brunt of jokes, speculation, and criticism about my appearance, and it’s not fun.

When people choose to mock young impressionable females and even more mature national political leaders, it spreads the lie that the value of women resides in their appearance.  As women, we should resist the urge to laugh at our sisters, both Democrats and Republicans alike. Plus, Hillary looks good! I think we should give her credit for not having a make up artist following her around and for being comfortable in her own skin.

And speaking of no makeup, this is what my mom looks like 90% of the time!

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Hail to the Chiefs – Malia and Sasha Obama

Is anyone really surprised by the fact that President Obama came out of the closet for gay marriage? What was most surprising is when he explained how his position (supposedly) “evolved,” by talking to his wife and daughters:

It’s interesting, some of this is also generational,” the president continued. “You know when I go to college campuses, sometimes I talk to college Republicans who think that I have terrible policies on the economy, on foreign policy, but are very clear that when it comes to same-sex equality or, you know, sexual orientation, that they believe in equality. They are much more comfortable with it. You know, Malia and Sasha, they have friends whose parents are same-sex couples. There have been times where Michelle and I have been sitting around the dinner table and we’re talking about their friends and their parents and Malia and Sasha, it wouldn’t dawn on them that somehow their friends’ parents would be treated differently. It doesn’t make sense to them and, frankly, that’s the kind of thing that prompts a change in perspective.”

Let’s pause for just one second.  When Christian women run for high office, people inevitably bring up the question of submission.  Once, Michele Bachmann, for example, was asked during a debate, “As president, would you be submissive to your husband?”

People automatically assume that a Christian female President isn’t capable of making decisions without her spouse’s stamp of approval.  (I should add female Republican candidates –liberal women don’t get the same kind of questions.)

So are all those reporters who feared excessive family intervention in the White House all up in arms over the President’s announcement yesterday?  Um.  Not quite.

Liberals  everywhere are applauding him for his bravery and his wisdom.

So let me get this straight – it’s a problem if my mom listened too much to my dad, but it’s a heroic act if the President made a massive change in a policy position that could affect the entire nation after consulting with his teenage daughters?

While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads.  In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.  Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.  Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.

In this situation, it was the other way around.  I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren’t younger, or perhaps today’s press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.

Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking.  In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.
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And the Winner Is…

Well, seventy-eight of you commented under my article called “What’s Better than Being a Palin,” in which I talked about being a single mom. The CCEF little minibook called “Single Parent: Daily Grace for the Hardest Job” is packed full of insight about being the only one to take care of your child.  Some of us are in this position because of past mistakes, while others are here because their husband or wife has passed away.  Either way, many of you are struggling under the pressures of life.  I selected one of the seventy-eight to receive the mini-book.

Drumroll, please….

The winner is Kimberlie Morris of Ohio

Here’s her comment:

Bristol, this was so inspirational for me today. Many times in my daily “adventures” as the single mom of an adorable little girl with many special needs, I get caught up in the “wow, can I REALLY do _____ alone again?” Sometimes I forget that I’m never alone and when I feel that way is when I need to say “I’m a CHRISTIAN and with God’s help I CAN do this again!” I admire your stand! Thanks for staying true to your beliefs, and being so humble and willing to share these thoughts with us.

God Bless you always,
Kim

Thanks, Kim, and enjoy the mini-book!  Others can get their copy here.  And come back for more giveaways on this blog!
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