A new fucking life


As my tears evaporate into a beautiful, briny mask my will transcends the pit of despair toward fucking awesome dreams As my memory clears from the wreckage of you my spirit unfurls with growing delight into a fucking beautiful flower As my heart is exposed to the possibility of hope my imagination soars to new [Read More...]

A lament for dark-valley days


The reading: Psalm 42  Longing for God and His Help in Distress To the leader. A Maskil of the Korahites. As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God? My tears have been [Read More...]

Separation: the Rosetta Stone of Love Languages


Adorning my tiny, new, ancient apartment in kitchen, bedroom and sacred writing nook I gaze upon art intentionally placed to remind me how she did try to love me, in her native language, so alien to my own – articulation through the material seeking, giving that which she recognized as meaningful to me but that I must now acknowledge [Read More...]

The Sound of Single


Hello Ramen, my old friend, I’ve come to dine with you again, Because a hunger softly creeping, Left its ache while I was working, And the hole that was planted in my gut Still remains Within the reach of Ramen. At empty ‘fridge I stood alone Hollow shelves of food none, ‘neath the halo of [Read More...]

With gay marriage comes gay divorce


I’ve been rather quiet this month but it is now time to break my silence. When you are committed to speaking truth, eventually you’ll stand on the cliff that beckons you to utter the unbearable truth about your own life. Today I am stepping with faith into the free-fall of sharing my truth. I’ll not [Read More...]

Facing my inner, silent self


I have so much I want to tell you about the swirling waters of my life and the excruciating, transformative, generative current in which I find myself swimming, sometimes with Olympic grace but more often with flailing gasps. Right now I can not find a way to collect all my thoughts, feelings and words to [Read More...]

From skepticism to grace


Earlier this year I shared a post from my friend and filmmaker Daneen Akers.  I am so grateful for the powerful, faithful work she and her husband have been doing through their film Seventh Gay Adventists.  Recently they made the film free for download (just over the Thanksgiving holiday) and it had over 3,000 free downloads [Read More...]

To do a thing


that is beyond reason that calls you forward with no hope of fruition that seeks to destroy you even as your heart believes you will flourish that defies logic that sinks into the spongey darkness of the human heart as you seek your ultimate that can mean ruin or joy unbound dependent upon touching the [Read More...]

Troubled Convergence


In response to a niftly little post by my friend Tripp Hudgins (that was a result of a great little FB te-ta-te) I have some rambling thoughts. Tripp I am grateful that you have lifted up the issue of evangelical siloing that’s bugging you. Allow me to quote you just a teeny bit to invite [Read More...]

Happy Birthday Deborah Arca


Dear Deborah, I want to take a moment to wish you a very happy birthday and to thank you. Your presence in my life is such a gift and I barely have a way to say thank you adequately. From the moment we met at Theology After Google you have been a tremendous supporter – [Read More...]