I’m Getting Raptured in an Hour, So This is My Last Ever Post

Well, if prediction holds true, this is my last hour on earth before I get raptured. I hope you get raptured too!

I’ve really been looking forward to this day. Seriously. I have.

Ever since that old guy told everyone the exact time and date of Jesus’ return, I’ve set my calendar to make sure I’m ready to bounce out of this place. I know, I know … Jesus told us that no one would know the exact hour of his return, and this same guy has been publicly wrong before on a few other dates. But who’s to say the third time isn’t the charm?!

I’m all about it! Come down and get us Jesus! My ears are ready to hear those glorious trumpets with the sky parting and on comes Jesus! Yes! No more worries, troubles or pain over here. Can’t wait!

It’s been a really fun ride, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed (most of the time, at least) having the opportunity over the past 30 years to learn what it means to be faithful. Now that the end (or should I say it’s just the beginning!) is near, if I could have gone back in time I would have done a few things differently. And for anyone I’ve hurt or haven’t been able to mend things with, please take this as my sincerest apology. But that’s all in the past. I’m just looking forward to spending eternity with God. If my reading of Scritpure is correct, I’m sure going to have a lot better time up in Heaven, er, I mean the New Heaven and New Earth, than I did here on this earth.

Can’t wait to see you on the flip side. Literally.

For the last time…

Much love.

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