I have been hesitant to use words like “brainwash” or “indoctrinate” here because of their negative connotations. However, a recent commenter made stop and think about these terms.
I don’t think you can educate a child, live with a child, raise a child – without indoctrinating them to your world-views.
This commenter essentially argues that however you educate your child, you are indoctrinating her into your world view. You can’t help it. The argument then essentially goes “sure your parents indoctrinated you into their views, but so does everyone else, and you will do the same to your child.” I don’t think this is either helpful or accurate. Let’s start out with some definitions of “indoctrination.”
1: to instruct especially in fundamentals or rudiments : teach
2: to imbue with a usually partisan or sectarian opinion, point of view, or principle
The American Heritage Dictionary:
1. To instruct in a body of doctrine or principles.
2. To imbue with a partisan or ideological point of view.
Collins English Dictionary:
1. to teach (a person or group of people) systematically to accept doctrines, esp uncritically
2. Rare to impart learning to; instruct
1. to instruct in a doctrine, principle, ideology, etc., especially to imbue with a specific partisan or biased belief or point of view.
2. to teach or inculcate.
3. to imbue with learning.
Are you seeing a pattern here? There appear to be two basic definitions of indoctrinate. The first is simply “to teach.” The second is “to imbue with a specific partisan or biased belief or point of view” or “to teach sustematically to accept doctrines, especially uncritically.” The Collins English Dictionary stated that the simple definition – “to teach” – is to day rare, and I think that is correct. When most people hear the word “indoctrinate” what they think of is systematically and uncritically teaching partisan and biased beliefs. While indoctrination originally simply meant teaching, it has come to mean something different in common usage today.
I find that the following introduction to the Wikipedia article on indoctrination makes this distinction very clear:
Indoctrination is the process of inculcating ideas, attitudes, cognitive strategies or a professional methodology (see doctrine). It is often distinguished from education by the fact that the indoctrinated person is expected not to question or critically examine the doctrine. As such it is used pejoratively, often in the context of education, political opinions, theology or religious dogma. Instruction in the basic principles of science, in particular, can not properly be called indoctrination, in the sense that the fundamental principles of science call for critical self-evaluation and skeptical scrutiny of one’s own ideas, a stance outside any doctrine. In practice, however, a certain level of non-rational indoctrination, usually seen as miseducative, is invariably present. The term is closely linked to socialization; in common discourse, indoctrination is often associated with negative connotations, while socialization refers to cultural or educational learning they have learned.
While I know that Wikipedia is written and edited by laypeople, I think this paragraph highlights an important point. Teaching someone a set of doctrines or ideas and telling them not to ever question or critically examine it is indoctrination. Teaching someone to think for themselves and be critical and skeptical of all ideas including their own is not indoctrination.
Did my parents indoctrinate me? You could argue yes and you could argue no. On the one hand, they did seek “to imbue” me “with a partisan or ideological point of view.” They taught me their views as gospel truth, only gave me one side of the information for every argument, and sheltered me from alternative viewpoints and lifestyles. On the other hand, they never taught me to accept what they told me uncritically. They taught me to be a critical thinker, to always question everything and never accept anything just because someone says it. So, did my parents indoctrinate me? It’s tough to say. Regardless, some children who grow up in Christain Patriarchy are indoctrinated, taught to accept authority and not ask questions.
This discussion makes it clear, though, that it is absolutely not true that every parent indoctrinates their children. Teaching your child to uncritically accept your beliefs would be indoctrination; teaching your child to think for herself is not. I won’t be indoctrinating my daughter. I plan to teach her to be a critical thinker, to question everything and never accept anything just because someone says it. I won’t shelter her from other views, or portray those who don’t share my particular beliefs in a negative light. I won’t teach her that the world is black and white, but rather that it is complicated and filled with shades of gray. I plan to encourage her to seek out information for herself, to read, learn, and think, and to question and evaluate even her own beliefs and values. Finally, and most importantly, I will expect her to form her own views, not to simply echo mine.