Homeschool Relationships in the Purity Culture

A guest rant by Kate

This is my experience: Dating is only if you want to get married, so don’t date in high school. Be careful when you talk to guys, because you might lead them on, so just be careful what you say and how you act. Making friends of the opposite sex is a useless endeavor anyway, since you will undoubetedly end up attracted to each other, and there is no point having a relationship in high school.

But just say you try starting a friendship with someone, when you’ve been told that they are always trying not to undress you in your mind, or that if your shirt goes below your collar bones they’re going to have immodest thoughts about you, or if you stand too close somehow you’re just going to combust and have sex.

And then, imagine that despite all of that you do try to have a friendship, but neither of you have cell phones, and your parents have told you you shouldn’t add guys to your email because it’s “not safe”, and then on top of all THAT, imagine that the only time you see these potential guy friends is your one “social” day at church, where every busy-body homeschool mother in the neighborhood can see your every action, and if you are so much as seen as sitting next to each other, it means you’re getting married.

Because a simple friendship is not allowed, and there is no getting together to hang out unless it is a group setting, and when homeschoolers get together in a group setting anyways, the guys and girls always naturally separate because well…what’s the point of hanging out if attraction isn’t allowed and you can’t get married for another 5 years anyways?

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About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.


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