True Womanhood: Get Abused, Win a Crown!

Christian feminist blogger Caris Adel has been reviewing DeMoss and Kassian’s bible study for women, True Woman 101 Divine Design, which is the same genre as Debi Pearl’s Created To Be His Help Meet. When I write about Debi, I am often told that Debi is extreme, that her teachings are not widespread among evangelicals, etc. As DeMoss and Kassian reveal, however, this is incorrect. (You’ve heard of Kassian and DeMoss on this blog before, in a two-part guest series.) I want to quote from one section of Caris Adel’s review, and then offer links for her whole series.

There are no guarantees, that responding ‘God’s way’ will work.  “How you respond to this man, you must think of it as, ‘this is my response to God’……If the man is asking her to do something ungodly or is interacting with her in a way that’s very harsh and difficult – I’ve counseled women through, you exercise humility, you express your opinions, you appeal in a way that’s gentle, you pray…

IF YOUR HUSBAND IS ABUSING YOU, YOU EXERCISE HUMILITY???  Because abuse is the time to be gentle?!?!?

If he’s caught in a pattern of sin, thankfully Scripture’s given us recourse.  Matthew 18, once you’ve appealed to your husband, you say, I’ve seen this in you and I’m concerned for you, then you take it to your church leadership…” (So, no civil authorities for Christian women?  And nice assumption that church leadership is always a safe place to go.

I’m concerned for you!  Not for me, not for my safety or the safety of my children, or what this violence is teaching our children.  No, my only concern is for you.  W.T.F.

And to women who suffer in these relationships for a really long time, or have been deserted or abandoned, there’s one perspective to offer that can be helpful, and that is, our life is but a breath…it feels very long, I get that, but you have to live with the idea that one day you will stand and look at your savior face to face and you will be rewarded for what you did, not what you changed in someone else…….If you live in light of eternity, you will realize that out of his grace he’s going to give you a crown to reward you that you wear for all eternity…..This light and momentary affliction, which seems very heavy and long, is shaping and sanctifying and molding us, conforming us to God’s image….he uses even the failures and sins of others to sanctify us.  Pressure sanctifies.

Isn’t it refreshing to know that God is sovereign?” (Says the single woman!)

Oh, Nancy.  There are so many things I think about this god.  Refreshing is not one of them.  (Seriously.  ALL.THE.SWEARS)

They also talk about how we shouldn’t intimidate our husbands with our strong-will and determination.  Heaven forbid women have will or determination, especially when it comes to abusive situations.  Their commitment to marriage is so strong that being married takes precedent over being safe

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About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.


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