Today’s entry isn’t a Pearl letter followed by bad advice. It’s examples from Michael Pearl’s view of how you are not to be a strong women lest you bruise the ego of your emotionally fragile weak husband. This is from a post titled ‘Carnal Husbands, Cranky Wives and Cantankerous Kids’ that seems mostly to be an ad for another Pearl book on finding contentment.

For well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give.

Today’s entry is here.

Over the years I have heard many women speak in front of their husbands about how they are praying God will have His way in their families. Or they will brag about what a wonderful sermon that was and how they want that in their home. As I stand there listening, I am embarrassingly aware that their husbands are being reduced to carnal nincompoops.
The man can’t complain that his wife doesn’t obey him, because she does. He can’t say she speaks evil toward him, because she doesn’t. He can’t fault her in anyway. But he is often angry; he feels he is not respected and honored; he feels the fool. And somehow for all her years of faithful prayer, he never becomes a mighty man of God. In front of the children, she patronizes him. She doesn’t know it, and he can’t explain it, but the kids grow up feeling it all the same. It reaps anger, frustration, belligerence, irritation in the dad, dislike among siblings, and, in teens, disrespect for their mother. The Scripture tells us “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
The children are subtly being persuaded that the head of the house is not really the spiritual leader, and therefore not to be highly regarded—in fact he is a detriment to the growth of the family. No wonder when they become teens they treat their dad like the burden you have contrived him to be. Of course, when the children are young, Mom seems like a strong spiritual woman, but as they mature they look at her with the same critical eyes of judgment she has used on Dad. Every look of irreverence toward Dad is now multiplied and sent back her direction (Matt. 7:1-5). She has trained her children well in the folly of disrespect and irreverence. They might obey, because she has obeyed, but what is obedience without honor?
Mother, if you have a reputation as a fine Christian woman yet lose your children to bitterness, what have you gained? Will it be satisfaction enough to be able to blame your husband?

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