Duane Mandible Reports

Guest blogger, Duane Mandible is a contributing editor to The Truth Hurts, a bi-monthly journal of politics, economics and opinion. He also contributes regularly to Freedom Monthly; Illuminations and The Sojourner. Duane is the author of Guns and Knives will Save Your Children’s Lives. He is Vice President of the Sacred Society of St Philibustre, and enjoys hunting rattlesnakes, square dancing and watching re runs of comedy classics. He is unmarried.


It is important for all to realize that the surface appearance of things are never what they seem. We see what people want us to see. For example, most people smile and are polite most of the time, but what are they really like underneath? They’re a complex mixture of egotism, aggression, selfishness, fear and lust. They appear to be nice, normal people. But they are actually very difficult to be with and are often suspicious and ready to attack you if they disagree with your ideas.
I have recently come across a fascinating piece of genuine scholarly research. This article which is written by a scholar gives unshakeable evidence for something that most people will find incredible. This link provides you with a link to the article about which I am speaking. The United States government has, for many years, led us to believe that in the summer of 1968 two Americans landed on the moon, and that they were the first to land there. In fact the ‘moon landing’ was all filmed by the famous film maker Stanley Kubrick. He was already experienced in making space movies with his famous film ’2001 a Space Odyssey’ so he was asked to make this film which was to make the public think that men had really landed on the moon in the summer of 1968.
In fact, they were not the first ones to land on the moon. Nazi scientists had already not only landed there, but established a lunar base underground. A recent discovery that the skull which was thought to be Adolph Hitler’s skull as actually a female skull has led to a renewed assertion of a previously hidden fact, that Adolph Hitler was not killed in the Berlin bunker, but he escaped at the last minute and was whisked off to the secret Nazi lunar base where he is living still. The scholars and researchers who have uncovered these facts attest to his good health and plans to return to earth in the not too distant future. Although he is now over 120 years old his health is robust since he is exempt from the gamma rays of the sun which age people so quickly.
In addition to the Nazis landing on the moon it has also been discovered by scholars and researchers that in the last days of the Nazi regime a secret pact was made with Jesuits so that the Catholic faith would also be preserved in the underground lunar chambers. When Hitler returns to earth it will be as a religious spectacle and at that point he will be hailed as a new world leader who has been ‘resurrected.’ The Jesuits, with their solemn vow of complete obedience to the ‘Holy Father’ will be the Fuhrer’s agents, and they will no doubt proclaim him to be the new pope after the death of the present ‘Pope in Rome’ and the conclave. It has become clear that the Jesuits are, in fact, a heretical order, and it comes as no surprise that they would eventually seek to establish Adolph Hitler as their ‘anti-Pope.’
These startling facts will be hard for most people to accept. That is why they are hidden from the public by the United States government intelligence services. Also the existence of aliens and their mother ship on the moon from which many UFOs have visited earth and helped to gather up the remaining Nazis to safety.
It is time therefore for the truth to be known even if the truth hurts. The secret alliance between the Jesuits and alien civilizations is dangerous and should be exposed for what it is. True Catholics will not only dismiss the Jesuits as false prophets, but they will be equally suspicious of the present ‘Holy Father’ with his own unfortunate Nazi past. Not to mention his Koran Kissing predecessor. Papa Ratzi is a well known liberal and the fact that he dresses conservatively and pretends to be in favor of the Latin Mass should fool no one. He is simply an example of a ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’. And the Illuminati have developed flying saucers and try to tell everyone that they are alien ships and Buzz Aldrin admitted once in an interview (which has since been suppressed) that they never went to the moon.
Duane Mandible is thirty seven.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01210899232931814200 JC

    Another brilliant addition to your cast of guest bloggers. Bravo!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06962374096401238994 shadowlands

    Great to meet you Duane,what you propose is fantastic yet plausible because as you say,the article is written by a scholar using scholarly research so I guess it must be true. I'm going to call my friend,Justin Thyme,he's a satellite cartographer,so he'll be well able to check the story 'line' out.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17691145638703824456 kkollwitz

    "He is unmarried."Odd…seems like excellent marriage material.

  • http://doctoreric.wordpress.com/ doctoreric

    It sounds like Duane writes for World Net Daily too.Dr. Eric

  • http://www.prophet666.com/ prophet666.com

    well written post by someone who has first hand knowledge.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00277922447843163814 fried chicken strips

    Father,What are you trying to show here: that you can never be wrong so long as you argue correctly with supporting evidence?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15168543309399102473 Sandra

    Thiz sounds very odd and to defame the papacy of John Paul II or Pope Benedict XVI is heretical in itself …So how come Father you endorse such an article… …Besides if Hitler were bunking in the Lunar zone he'd have by now made a pact with Satan himself to hoodwink mere mortals and that'z where i see this article stems from… …To survive in the Lunar zone is unproven and if Hitler were there he would have been far too eager to come down to Earth to finish Mission Extermination!!! of the Human Race…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12979831428268753359 Natasa

    Duane, thank you so much for making the truth known. It all finally makes sense. I've always suspected that Adolf is alive and kicking and plotting to give another go at world domination. I wonder if Elvis is with him…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11081757519772226348 Lindsay

    Sandra, Fr. L wrote the article himself as satire.I've stopped trying to figure out what father means by these and just sit back and enjoy. If they say something meaningful to me (like Mantilla on Beauty) or just make me laugh (like this one and Caitlin), it is all good. (I'm not convinced Fr. always has a point, but maybe I'm just not scholarly enough.)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08353696433987975754 Karen

    How is it that Duane is still available? I'm amazed that some lucky woman hasn't snapped him up already.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12373317560249811006 Fr Longenecker

    To tell you the truth, I just have a lot of fun writing the satirical pieces. The smart alter egos have a point. The dumb ones just expose their stupidity…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07740164378856454831 laurazim

    I would love to be a fly on the wall for a conversation between Duane and Todd. Better yet, the two of them should do election night coverage together. The banter would be hilarious, I'm sure…though I doubt any of the mainstream networks could stand so much intelligence nder one roof.I cannot hear (or read) the name Duane without thinking of that treasured knock-knock joke: Knock Knock. Who's there? Duane. Duane who? Duane the tub; I'm dwowning.:)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11740482509910163332 Gail F

    Fr. L, is that web site for real or is it a web version of Duane Mandible? Sometimes it's hard to tell!My brother and his wife live near the country's supposed center of "orgone energy," which I had never heard of until they told me about it — Google it if you want a real eyeful. It was "discovered" by a famous psychologist whose textbooks were read in colleges for years, which just goes to show you how nutty psychologists are. Anyway, my brother says they have actually met people who moved there to be near the orgone energy. Duane M should investigate!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15168543309399102473 Sandra

    hey Lindsay Thanks …so this is satire …help me see the point…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15757273147467863668 FamilyMan

    You just kill me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11544682350629002025 Niall Mor

    I'd be inclined to dismiss Duane Mandible's charges as just so much paranoid raving if not for this indisputable photographic evidenceof a secret Nazi base on the moon. But the Jesuits are involved too? Positively fiendish! :)Seriously, the YouTube clip is a trailer for a movie called "Iron Sky" that's currently in production. It looks really cool!


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