Duane Mandible Reports

Guest blogger, Duane Mandible is a contributing editor to The Truth Hurts, a bi-monthly journal of politics, economics and opinion. He also contributes regularly to Freedom Monthly; Illuminations and The Sojourner. Duane is the author of Guns and Knives will Save Your Children’s Lives. He is Vice President of the Sacred Society of St Philibustre, and enjoys hunting rattlesnakes, square dancing and watching re runs of comedy classics. He is unmarried.

It has come to my attention that there is some doubt in some people’s minds about the validity of the papal election of the ‘pope’ Benedict XVI in Rome. Followers of my writings will not need to be reminded that what appears to be a papacy in the Vatican City, (Citta Vaticana) in Rome is simply a false facade or a mask for the anti-pope. It is well known among the genuine Catholic faithful who belong to the Sacred Society of St Philibustre, that Angelo Roncalli ‘Pope’ John XXIII was a Freemason, a member of the Rosicrucian Order, a Knight of the Darkest Circle, a member of the Skull and Crossbones Society, an Illuminati, a member of the Readers’ Digest Book Club, and an avid reader of ‘science fiction’ novels very often with occult themes.

For many years the Catholic Church struggled without a true pastor. Confusion was rife as different claimants (like the liberals Montini, Albani, and Wotyla) claimed the papal throne (they were the famous ‘triple tiara’) At last on June 29, 1994 at a secret conclave in Assisi the true Pope was elected. A humble priest named Fr. Victor Von Pentz was elected and acclaimed as Pope Linus II. The moving story of his election can be found here in this link which links to a site where you can read the story itself. Pope Linus II resides in Bishop’s Stortford (an apt name I think!) in England and reigns supreme from his throne in the papal apartments in a two up two down on Ferndale Crescent (three doors down from the Spar corner shop, and the ‘Jolly Fryer’ fish and chip shop) His Holiness Linus II selected his name as a reference to the second pope of history and also in homage to the Linus– the intelligent philosopher and theologian in the weekly social commentary called ‘Peanuts’. Drawn by the comic genius and lay theologian Charles Schultz. (R.I.P)
No sooner was His Holiness elected than controversy arose about his claim. In Kansas, the anti-pope David Bawden was pretending to be ‘Pope Michael.’ Then just four years later Fr. Lucian Pulvermacher had himself elected in Montana and called himself ‘Pope Pius XIII’ and he pretended to rule over the ‘True Catholic Church.’ There is very little that can be said about these two wolves in sheep’s clothing. A quick look at the process of their election will show that their ‘elections’ were invalid. Both are heretics on the jurisdictional question and an examination of the Most Sacred Codes of Canon Law for each will reveal startling inconsistencies which invalidate their claim. Neither was ordained by the fourth revision of the conclavist rite, nor were their cardinals wearing the correct silk stocking of the crimson hue. Their claims can be dismissed. They are no more ‘Pope’ than the pretender Joseph Ratzinger wearing his cappa magna and being carried on his ‘sedevacante gestoria’.
In next week’s column I will go further to expose these three impostors who are frauds and reveal how a hitherto secret connection between Pope Linus, Mr George Adamski, and a very interesting group of Danish people who have been in touch with alien intelligences who were able to confirm the divine inspiration of Pope Linus’s election.
Until then faithful readers, Keep the (True) Faith!!!

Duane Mandible on Vampires
Duane Mandible on the Last Pope
Duane Mandible on Neo Catholics
Duane Mandible on Welcoming Grays
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06962374096401238994 shadowlands

    Gosh! What a of lot of details to take in Duane.Mind you,I'm sure whatever you say is true,I can just tell by your eyes in your photo.You look really, really wise.I live a stone's throw from Ferndale,I love that chippy,have you tried their mushy peas?There's a fella called Linus drinks at the Dog and Duck at the other end of the street,but it wouldn't be the same fella you say is pope,surely?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07215093180074844386 the Egyptian

    Wheeeee, what a trip, I don't know what the Misses is feeding you but where an I get the recipe ;>)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08353696433987975754 Karen

    "Linus– the intelligent philosopher and theologian in the weekly social commentary called 'Peanuts'." That is just too funny. I wonder if he waits for the Great Pumpkin to arrive every Halloween, too.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00098504849466846551 Arkanabar T’verrick Ilarsadin

    Just to show that even Duane Mandible can't always be wrong, I submit the following:My own rant, What IS It About Guns, by which I still stand.J. Niel Schulman's World Wide Web Gun Defense Clock

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10503510474554718305 Just another mad Catholic

    More dickie williamson please

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06015803653090711740 LarryD

    So many popes, so little time…Great stuff, Father!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12520325224585096747 Éstiel

    Golly, Father L. You may be tempting the muse a bit much…?