Mrs Brady Catholic Old Lady

Wasn’t it interesting to have Fr Aubergine here talking about the Christians in the Middle East?  It seems so sad that they have been there in Palestine ever since the time of Our Lord, and now so many of them are leaving. We have some Lebanese here in town you know dear. They’re the ones who have provided the coffee and these delicious pastries. They have their own liturgy and everything. Fr Aubergine celebrates their Mass. They call it the Divine Liturgy. That’s nice isn’t it? I think I’m going to start calling Mass ‘the Divine Liturgy’ from now on. No dear, not Mennonite– Maronite! I think Mennonites are those horse and buggy people up in Pennsylvania. Do you know I went to the Maronites once when Fr Aubergine had just opened up the church and my goodness, what a lot of incense he uses! The censer has bells on it so it jangles when he wafts the smoke about, and he wears completely different vestments and they sing in one of their different languages. I can’t remember which it is, but the men do the singing and it’s very beautiful. Then afterward Constance Mahoney was complaining about it and Fr Augergine said, “Now Connie, I’d be careful if I were you. The devil doesn’t like incense, and if you don’t like incense it makes me a bit worried about you. Anyway,” he said, “do you know why the devil doesn’t like incense?” Connie frowned a little–you know that way she has. Well, Fr Aubergine said, “Because it reminds him of home.” He is a card, that Fr Augergine. Everyone loves him don’t they? So now when he comes and tells us about the Christians in the Middle East it seems so sad. But I’m glad they’re here and that they’re safe with us, and don’t you just love their food? All that hummus and herbs and these delicious pastries and coffee? I had lunch just last week with Fr. O’Driscoll down at their little cafe called ‘Take Pita’. What disturbs me so much is how angry all the Muslims have become over the state of Israel. It does seem a little bit unfair that they had their land taken away from them like that, and suddenly they are being swamped with the Jewish people who they don’t like one little bit. On the other hand, don’t you feel sorry for the Jews after all they went through? It does seem rather nice that we gave them their ancient lands back again. Oh dear, it’s all so confusing, and how does anyone figure out a way forward? Now the Egyptians and all those other Muslim people are rioting and it all seems so hateful. What do I think about Muslims? Well, I don’t like to be against anyone my dear, and I really don’t think I hate anyone, but I think I like Muslims the least. I’m sure some of them are very nice people and that they love God in their own way, but they always seem so angry to me. Always marching up and down and shaking their fists and burning our flag and making their women dress up in those long black robes. Think how hot it must be for them poor dears! Maybe it’s just the climate that makes them that way. If you want to know the truth dear, I think they need to be converted. Henry used to joke about me and say, “You can take the girl out of the Baptist church but you can’t take the Baptist church out of the girl.” I suppose he’s right. If those poor souls could only come to realize how much God loves them and that Jesus redeemed them they might be a bit more joyful. Perhaps I’m wrong dear, but that’s how it seems to me. They just don’t have peace and joy now do they? And if they don’t have peace and joy, then I can’t think that their religion is all that it should be. But mind you, that goes for Mrs Hotchkiss too I suppose. She’s a Catholic, but I’ve never seen her smile. Henry used to say, “You can always tell the pillars of the church because their faces look like stone.” There now, I’m being naughty again, you’ll have to forgive me. Perhaps Mrs Hotchkiss has a cross to bear that I know nothing about. Pass me another one of those balaclavas will you dear? They’re just scrumptious.

Mantilla the Hon on the Use of Incense
Mantilla the Hon on the Cappa Magna
Duane Mandible on Welcoming Grays
New Guest Blogger Flora Harper
  • Ray Barnes

    So many truths and half truths in one really funny collection.Best laugh today.

  • Belfry Bat

    Marionite… I'm pretty sure one of those "i"s doesn't belong …

  • Arkanabar T’verrick Ilarsadin

    Balaclavas are those one-hole ski masks. Baklava is a flaky pastry with nuts and honey.

  • Fr Longenecker

    Whoops mrs Brady made a malapropism

  • Anthony Brett Dawe


  • Dr. Eric

    I had the honor of accidentally passing by the Maronite Cathedral in St. Louis, MO. I took a wrong turn downtown and had to pass over the interstate and ended up right there. I went in and had a "look see" and it turned out the Deacon was cleaning the vestibule. I asked what the writing on the altar read in Arabic. (see the linke to the sanctuary here: )"It's Syriac," he said.I apologized."It's the language of Jesus," he said.I knew that the Maronites used Aramaic during the consecration as I had been to the Qurbono at St. Charbel's in Peoria, IL many, many times. But I thought that the primary language was Arabic. It would appear that they use Syriac in their liturgy as well as Aramaic.

  • Anthony Brett Dawe

    have a look at today's ZENIT: news from romebout the persecuted and threatened Syriac monastary in TurkeyWE HAVE TO HELP THESE PEOPLEthey are our Christian kin and throughout the Middle East they are perishing a slow death of attrition whilst we all look the other wayMetropolitan Phillip of the Antiochian Archdiocese of North America and his auxilary Bp Basil (Essey) of Witchita have helped tremendously to raise the political profile of our brothers and sisters in the Middle EastLet's all stop naval gazing and start helping these people in real need… money… food … goods they need… charcoal … and write letters to the lazy politicos and be rude and loud like me (!)The Pope of Rome agrees completely so it is Ok for you all to be nice to other Christians- even help em

  • Riley

    I grew up in a small Georgia town, and my "second family" were Lebanese and were the bulwark of our tiny Catholic Church. Their witness to me over many years, and even after their death, is a a reason I am becoming Catholic. My best friend is from this family, and I look forward to participating in the Mass with him soon.

  • Robert H

    @Anthony Brett Dawe: do you have a link, phone, etc.? I agree we should be doing more for the modern day martyrs (in the christian sense)

  • Anthony Brett Dawe

    Robertdaweanthony@gmail.comhave a look at the Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese of North America site about the hierarchs call on Congress to investigate the pogrom against the middle eastern Christians.There are several clergy and prominent laymen working in this area re politics and aid. An enquiry to the editor at 'The Word' magazine would prove fruitful no doubt.My point is we can help these people and we simply must do so. The Padre has recently referred to the pagan status we all really inhabit: chowing our junk food, driving to the mall, and watching trash television (one i hardly ever do thanks be to God) when our Christian brothers and sisters die.Quite literally die. This is wrong.My former Episcopal Church of St Aidan now St Luke Orthodox, Erie, Colorado has done exemplary work in this area. Just a simple parish church. Orphanages in Mexico and Guatamala, a Seminary in Kenya and major help in constructing a sister church in Romania among other things.This is good. God blesses such endeavors. People repent seek counsel and change for the better. They realize to share even a bit of their overabundance with others is such a better experince than the mindless greed and self-indulgence to the point of insaiety.And here I might add that the Padre's younger brother and his wife were the first to help me see how much a few thousand pounds can do in Afica- save lives literally and therefore souls. One of the most amazing blessings of my life was being in Mapleton Iowa about six years ago and- totally by 'chance' or providence- hearing an Evangelical Lutheran Missionary director telling me how his not unsubstantial organization had been doing major water and waste water engineering in Burkina Faso- on wells originally dug by the aformentioned effort.Such news is so amazingly better than any KFC induced indigestion whilst watching TV there is really no comparison.'you have freely received… freely give.'is this a suggestion, command, what?

  • Anthony Brett Dawe

    Missouri Synod actuallyevangelical meaning just thatso complicated all these dumb ' culpa

  • shadowlands

    "You can take the girl out of the Baptist church but you can't take the Baptist church out of the girl.""You can always tell the pillars of the church because their faces look like stone." Mint statements Father D, love 'em!