Duane Mandible on the SSPX Talks


Guest blogger, Duane Mandible is a contributing editor to The Truth Hurts, a bi-monthly journal of politics, economics and opinion. He also contributes regularly to Freedom Monthly; Illuminations and The Sojourner. Duane is the author of Guns and Knives will Save Your Children’s Lives. He is Vice President of the Sacred Society of St Philibustre, and enjoys hunting rattlesnakes, square dancing and watching re runs of comedy classics. He is unmarried.

I see from the news headlines on the so-called ‘internet’, that two notoriously liberal groups are in ‘reconciliation’ talks. The Society of St Pious X which is now led by the Canadian Bishop Malcolm X is rubbing its hands with glee because they have got ‘Pope’ Ratzinger on the run. The German Shepherd is losing members of his flock all over the world, and he is desperate to claw back as many as possible. First through the ill  advised overtures to the Protestant Church of England with the ‘Personal Ordinariate’, and now with ‘reconciliation’ talks with the liberal Protestant minded SSPX.

I am sure that all faithful members of the Sacred Society of St Philibustre will see this ruse for what it really is. The Church of England, and by extension all those of the Anglican persuasion, are now and ever shall be a Protestant body. In the sixteenth century King Henry VIII wanted to divorce his wife Catherine of Aragorn (who was related to the Once and Future King of Middle Earth) in order to marry Anne Boleyn-Alleys. He broke with the pope and started his own church. This is exactly what the rebellious Archbishop Lefebevre did when he broke away from the Pope and started his own church. This split occurred because ‘Catholic’ bishops started smiling and stopped wearing gloves with rings on top.

What most people don’t realize is that the three groups sitting down around the table in this cosy ecumenical meeting are ALL Protestants! Cardinal (Bunny) Bugninny was a Freemason and started the Novus Ordo Mass which was condoned by the anti-Pope “Prince” John XXIII who was also a member of the Lodge. Jolly Old John was also a secret member of the Skull and Bones club while he was an exchange student at Yale. He also joined the Order of the Moose, and registered as a member of the Reader’s Digest Book of the Month Club. Everyone knows the words “Novus Ordo” mean “New Order” and does anyone  believe that it is a mere co-incidence that this Mass contains the secret rituals of the “Novus Ordo Seculorum” otherwise known as the “New World Order.”??

These Latin words are on every American dollar bill. Surrounding the great seal of America which shows the pyramid of Cheops. (Note the linguistic link to the “Copts”–the liberal ‘Catholic’ Church of Egypt.) surmounted by the all seeing eye of Horus which is the symbol of the devil worshipping “New World Order” and the Eye of Sauron defeated by the scion of the House of Aragorn. This “New World Order” is a vast international conspiracy comprising members of the British Royal Family, most American presidents, the celebrity singers Wayne Newton and Hank Williams as well as film stars Danny Kaye, Fred MacMurray and Mortimer Ruskind.

Anti-Pope Ratzinger–the head of the biggest Protestant Church is now trying to get together not only with the Anglicans through his ill advised ‘ordinariate’ but he is also reaching out the hand of friendship to fellow Protestant Liberals–the SSPX. They have all started their own churches, so I doubt whether they will wish to give up their pointy hats and submit to one another. I wish them luck, but I am saddened that these religious leaders do not return to the true church.

The Sacred Society of St Philibustre maintains the ancient and venerable Western Ambrosianic Rite (non-collegian). We vow obedience to Pope Linus. Our women don the Magdalene, and we steadfastly refuse the innovation of the buttoned maniple. The be-ribboned maniple links us to the most ancient of liturgical traditions and it is not something on which we are willing to compromise. It is true that we are a small church, but did not our Lord himself say that “the gate is narrow and few there be that find it?” Did he not say that unless you become like a little sparrow you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven, and are we not, as it were, a little sparrow of a church?” Often we are called to join others, but we will not compromise and cast our swine before pearls!

For those of our readers who are in the fine state of Alabama I am pleased to announce the opening of a new church. Rev’d Father Monsignor Donald Rickles has recently been ordained and moved to Alabama. Mgr Rickles has transferred to us upon the closure of his former fellowship–the Anglican Orthodox Church of the Northern Alliance. Pope Linus has installed him as Archpriest of the cathedral of St Aloysius Zapata of the Holy Shoes. I encourage you to join him there for the Divine Liturgy. Sadly Mgr. Rickles is experiencing difficulties with his wife Noreen, so he is presently living with his mother in law Ms. Ruth Buzzi. The cathedral is located in a charming room over her garage at 173 Floribunda Grove in Nostril, Alabama.

His Grace presides from the Runcible Chair at 10:00 on Saturday mornings following the Ambrosianic Sabbatarian traditions.

If you enjoyed reading Duane’s news update you can follow his earlier posts by using the ‘categories’ section of the blog.

Duane Mandible on Welcoming Grays
New Guest Blogger Flora Harper
Is This a Miraculous Image of the Divine Mercy?
Gimme That Ole Time Religion
  • Melia

    I love how you casually mention that he isn’t married.

  • http://remnantofremnant.blogspot.com priest’s wife (@byzcathwife)

    Duane- Thanks for the informative article!
    Can you recommend a good movie for my 12 and 13 year old girls? I was thinking of ‘The Sound of Music.”

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Do not let them watch it! It will rot their souls…DM

  • Anna

    “…his mother in law Ms. Ruth Buzzi…” bwahahaha!

  • Matthew the Wayfarer

    I know you think this funny but………………. NOT!
    Don’t give up your night job.

  • Lucas

    Yay modernism! God forbid anyone actually be concerned about the fact that most ‘Catholics’ don’t believe in the true presence anymore, or believe that there is such a thing as sin. Let’s all live good lives & feel good together. we’ll all get to heaven, right?

  • http://thewhitelilyblog.wordpress.com Janet Baker

    One cannot tell at all by what criteria the author is calling SSPX ‘liberal.’ Because they are protesting liberal changes to the Catholic teaching made at Vatican II–does protesting or refusal to obey specific orders in the chain of command constitute liberalism? Sir, that’s just old-fashioned sophistry on your part, playing with the words for an effect. SSPX is neither protestant nor liberal; the group has identified three areas of heretical change stemming from language in the constitutions of the Council which clearly reflect what most accept as a conservative profile in contrast to the Vatican’s, in collegiality (which compromises the Christ-instituted power of the Holy Father, and reverses Vatican I), in ecumenism (which gives salvific capability to sects previously called heretical) and in religious liberty (the most serious of the three, the abandonment of the Catholic state and any attempts we Catholics might make for the re-institution of the virtuous regulations by which our healthier states used to be run even in the absence of a full-fledged Christ-centered body politic; this is the one which has caused the upsurge of Islamic attacks on Catholicism, since Benedict keeps trying to make them endorse secularism as the Church did at the Council).

    The purported changes have much to do with our falling standards of living, although it would take a book to support that claim. In any case, I don’t take it lightly that the author here treats the whole question dismissively and with discouraging effort in analysis. He thinks it is funny to identify SSPX as liberal without having to prove it. (Girls don’t go for that, you know! Maybe that’s the reason . . .)

  • Independent

    Many secular Liberals believe with the SSPX that “error has no rights” but differ in what they regard as error. It is a pernicious and totalitarian belief. It would appear that Pope Benedict is a Pluralist, as indeed was the Second Council of the Vatican.

  • vox borealis

    Satire. S.A.T.I.R.E. Satire.

  • http://thewhitelilyblog.wordpress.com Janet Baker

    Dear Independent, Do you mean that the identification of error is totalitarian? Then, you are a liberal. That’s a clear mark. (You may feel flattered, but I don’t mean it in a good way, alas.) There *are* errors, you see, actions and thoughts that disobey the laws of God–just as there are errors in say, programming in C++, or in confecting a cake, or in tailoring a jacket. We have laws, visible ones and invisible, legal ones and unspoken ones, physical ones and spiritual ones. Some of us love to obey them, and love to see peace among men in the world, as the natural world has peace in its obedience to the laws of God in his physics and his chemistry. Others, to think of obeying anything gives them hives. This continually causes unpeace and it will not fail to be punished at some point and in some manner.

  • http://thewhitelilyblog.wordpress.com Janet Baker

    Yes, you are R.I.G.H.T., it is satire, and I am protesting its direction.

  • Independent

    We should all be able to indentify error however we may define it, indeed contemporary ecclesiastical authority is remarkably reticent in doing so, but that is very different from using the power of the state to enforce a particular belief system whether religious as in Iran, or secular as in China and increasingly in Great Britain. As I do not bandy terms around whether as compliments or as marks of condemnation I am amused at your classing me as a liberal. In any case I am in good company.

  • vox borealis

    I’m no sure I understand what you mean. The piece clearly satirizes a strain of traditional Catholics, with whom I am familiar and even at times largely sympathetic, who accuse the Vatican of liberalism, modernism and a host of other -ism. It does so by creating a persona who is so caught up in such labeling that he accuses the SSPX itself of modernism and liberalism. This has nothing to do with whether the real SSPX is actually liberal or whatever. Rather, the piece perfectly captures the attitude of not a few trads whom I know, and as such, it is brilliant satire.

  • Anon

    After reading sites like this, does anyone wonder any more why Catholics are so ridiculed?

  • Jim

    Thankyou for having the courage to post this. Mr Mandible has some valuable insights.
    I had never spotted the link between King Henry VIII and Aragorn, the Once and Future King of Middle Earth. Yet Mr. M doesn’t explain how the marriage between Henry and Catherine of Aragorn, takes us to their child, Queen Elizabeth I.
    Perhaps Mr. Mandible should consider that there are Once and Future TRUTHS in the Church of England which has Queen Elizebeth II as its head.

    Clearly Anne Boleyn-Alleys was a Washout at Queens.

  • Fr. Dwight Longenecker

    Errr. This was satire.