As Elizabeth Duffy beautifully depicts in her most recent post, the life of faith is no sugar-coated fantasy and prayer is no vending machine into which one puts something in order to receive something. It is co-creative, and that means it is messy, complicated and ultimately as beholden to a big bang borne upon the intentional winds of “yes” as was the very first moment:
If there is a “contraceptive mentality” in Catholic marriage, it has almost nothing to do with abstaining from sex to space babies. Rather, it’s about wanting to undo or interfere with something that’s already taken place. God pitched me a ball, and I wanted to throw it back, hard enough to leave a bruise. What a dumb idea it was to play this game.
My husband and I are not good planners. We itch, we scratch, we treat the wounds, and for the most part, we’ve ended up a little richer for closing our eyes and taking chances. But sometimes it takes longer for a wound to heal, and you have to wait in uncertainty and discomfort until it does.
I would like to say that I could NEVER act against a pregnancy, but temptation is such that it throws all of life’s options before you, including the option for death.
Read it all.
The life of faith is shadow-boxing. It’s darkness and light being permitted to battle it out within you — sometimes leaving you feeling sucker-punched, sometimes powerful enough to dance with arms outstretched. You’re not forced into the ring; you get into it by choice. But once you’re there, prepare to be engaged. Christ is all light, but even he had to box the shadows on his way to glory.