Routine is the Enemy of the Present Moment

I have been trying to figure out why I have the pattern I do with jobs. When I first start a new job, I love it. Doesn’t matter what it is. It can be data entry and I love it. A few months down the road I start getting bored and then resentful and eventually I’m dreading going into work and having intense anxiety during all of my free time. This pattern has repeated over and over and over. I’ve rarely stayed at jobs longer than a year (though I’m proud of myself for four years at my previous job!).

I’m reaching that point with my current job. There’s lots to like about it, my ability to interact with people and bring happiness to their days for example, but I’m starting to dread those blocked off times on my calendar.

Dread is really the opposite of living in the present. It’s entire existence is about negatively anticipating something that is coming up.

I think the point at which I start hating a job is when it becomes a routine. When I get into a rut.  Despite the variable schedule on my current job, I’m definitely feeling the oppressive rut of a routine.

I never realized before how crucial the ability to be spontaneous is to me. What I long for is to wake up to days that are open-ended, where anything could happen, where I could decide at that moment what I was going to do.

I think that’s why I grow to resent jobs and that’s also why I get bored and depressed working from home. That can be a routine too. And once I’m in a routine, dread becomes part of my life and that takes me away from living in the present. Living in the present is such a joy and the way I react to jobs takes me away from that joy.

So here’s my situation:

• I can make enough money working from home after we pay off three particular debts that are not all that high (will probably take at least a year to pay off)
• Once I am working from home I need to develop a list of activities that are free and easy to do so that when I feel cooped up I can pick something and go do it right that moment (that list may include going to the grocery store and helping out in a volunteer capacity!)
• Until then the ideal situation for me would be temp jobs. Even though that’s a sign of a serious lack of success at career, I think doing a new job every few weeks or months would suit my nature really well. The only problem with that plan is that I don’t have a car. I’d need a car to make temp working happen.