Do you live alone? Are you lonely?
I know those two things don’t necessarily go together. You can live with other people, be busy at work, and have what looks to others like a good social life. You might even be part of a large, thriving church. And yet, somehow, even among the crowds, you feel completely alone.
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You feel misunderstood. You might feel embarrassed, or even ashamed. Did you know that almost all of us struggle with shame at some point in our lives? Probably more than we like to admit. One of the sad things about shame is that we don’t talk about it. And of course, if we had someone close to us, someone we really trusted, we could be honest about how we feel.
My generation didn’t really live alone. I did for a few weeks, and I very quickly sublet my living room because, in my one-bedroom flat, I felt isolated and I didn’t like it. Now, you might be able to change your living arrangements and live with someone else, but that doesn’t magically solve the problem. Especially if you have an inner tendency to hide, to keep yourself at a distance, because you’re afraid of people really finding out who you are and what you’re like. The truth is, they’re probably carrying the same fear themselves.
Here in the UK, around 7% of adults say they feel lonely often or always, and only about 20% say they never feel lonely (Office for National Statistics, 2024). That’s quite worrying. I’m sure it is similar in the USA and other places that you might be reading this.
Young people, people with disabilities, people who are poor, and people who are vulnerable are all more likely to live alone and to experience loneliness (ONS, 2024). There’s also good evidence that living alone, being isolated, or feeling isolated can worsen both physical health and mental health (Kumari, 2020; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015). More recently, research has shown that loneliness doesn’t just go alongside mental health problems, it can actually contribute to the onset of new mental health difficulties (Mann et al., 2022).
Loneliness also affects our spiritual health. The Bible is very clear about this. There’s a whole list of “one anothers” in the New Testament that describe how we’re meant to relate to each other. We’re told to love one another, care for one another, encourage one another, bear with one another, teach one another, and sometimes even challenge one another. You simply can’t do those things on your own.
And as I’ve said, living alone isn’t really the issue — although it might make things harder. The real question is: who is in your life that you can trust? Who can you be open with? Who can you share your struggles with?
I want to encourage you today to think about that. What are you going to do today? Are you going to move house? That might take a while, and it might not be the best solution — or even the right one. More importantly, who are you going to call? Who are you going to ask for a coffee? Who are you going to open up to? Maybe just a little at first, nothing too big or scary.
See if they respond the way you think the will. Are they someone full of grace? Someone full of compassion? Someone who might open up to you as well? Friendship has its risks. All relationships have their dangers. I’m not asking you to be foolish. I’m asking you to take it step by step, to be alert to the kind of person you’re opening up to, and sometimes, yes, to walk away if a relationship isn’t healthy.
But what I am saying — and I believe some people really need to hear this — is that Jesus says, “love one another” (John 13:34). So who are you going to love? Who are you going to show love to?
Some of those people might be more mature Christians than you, further along the journey, people who can help and guide you. Some might have skills or experience you need. Others might be at a similar stage to you — people you can pray with, support, and walk alongside, realising together that you’re not alone. And sometimes it might be someone newer to faith, someone you can help. But even a brand new Christian may have far more to teach you than you expect.
We were never meant to be alone. One of the first things God says in the Bible, after creating man in his image, is that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). It is not good for a woman to be alone either. This isn’t just about marriage. It is about relationship, companionship, and shared life. And everything I’ve said today is about those trusted relationships — typically with people of the same gender — where you can be honest, known, and supported. Brothers together, sisters together.
Two of you will be stronger than one on your own.
So who’s it going to be?
Who are you going to call today?
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This article is part of a growing collection, drawing from Adrian Warnock’s medical and psychological expertise, lived experience, and Christian faith.
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New in 2026
Amazing Grace: How Faith Grows in the Human Heart
Modern English Explanation of Ancient Truths.
By John Newton and Adrian Warnock
Buy here
Classic writings updated and a new biography.
300 years after the author’s birth
253 years after he released the world’s greatest hymn, Amazing Grace
This hymn has been recorded more often than any other song of any genre. In the same thirty-six hours which changed the world forever, his close friend William Cowper also wrote God Moves in a Mysterious Way, but then had a crushing mental breakdown from which he never fully recovered. Such powerful grace of God, but marked by terrible suffering. The echoes still reverberate today.
Also includes a chapter by Charles Spurgeon who highly valued John Newton
About Adrian Warnock
“Adrian is a first-rate communicator”—Albert Mohler Jr
About John Newton
”I look forward to meeting John Newton” — R. T. Kendall
”One of my heroes”—Tim Keller
“He says it all perfectly”— Martyn Lloyd-Jones
”The memory of his own gracious change of heart and life gave him tenderness in dealing with sinners, and it gave him hope for their restoration” — C. H. Spurgeon
”Why am I interested in this man? Because one of my great desires is to see Christians be as strong and durable as redwood trees, and as tender and fragrant as a field of clover. Oh, how rare are the Christians who speak with a tender heart and have a theological backbone of steel.” — John Piper
”If William Cowper could speak, he’d thank God for not only John Newton, but any friend who prays for and walks beside those with mental illness.” — Joni Eareckson Tada
Preview the content here:
→ I once was blind but now I see
→ Grace Within: The Inner Evidence of Faith
→ How Grace enters the Human Heart
→ Growing in Grace: When Shoots Take Root
→ A modern parable: The Traitors: Spellbound by Lies
More coming soon: subscribe by email or follow on social media
→ The 36 hours that changed the word
and much more…
Adrian Warnock presents a modern English edition of the 18th century classic writings of John Newton (1725-1807), author of Amazing Grace, the world’s greatest hymn and the most recorded song of any genre. This is an early access preview version, and includes free updates.
Allow John Newton to speak to your heart today. This updated autobiography and his devotional writings form a powerful commentary on the lyrics of his famous hymn, revealing what is so amazing about grace. The book also contains an interpretation of how significant his extraordinary life still is today. Newton becomes for us a vivid example of how God’s grace changes people gradually over time.
Published 300 years after John Newton was born, and 253 years after he released his remarkable hymn, this book blends Newton’s timeless wisdom with the clarity of thought and plain English which has marked Warnock’s Patheos blog for more than twenty years, and shaped his other books Raised with Christ, Hope Reborn, and The Traitor Within.
Amazing Grace includes modern English versions of Newton’s autobiography, Authentic Narrative, his thoughts on entering the ministry, Miscellaneous Thoughts, the first ever abolition publication, Thoughts on the African Slave Trade, selected sermons, and letters from Newton’s vast correspondence. A skillful soul physician, Newton describes how grace changes every aspect of a Christian’s life over a lifetime of faith. The former slave trader turned pastor speaks to the deepest struggles of our spiritual journeys. In these pastoral devotions, Newton traces how divine grace takes root, grows, and matures in the human heart through three phases: conviction, conflict, and mature contemplation of God’s glory.
We meet the rebellious and violent youth, the slave trader who oppressed thousands of innocents, was made a slave himself, and who was found by God’s grace during a storm that nearly sank his ship. We see how this unruly man was pursued, rescued, and transformed by grace. We learn how he became a pastor known for his compassion and kindness, demonstrated by his deeply committed care for the poet William Cowper during his severe mental illness. Newton became a pastor to the whole nation, working for the abolition of the slave trade, mentoring William Wilberforce for decades.
Newton bridged the gap between the warring denominational movements of his time, a friend of both George Whitefieldand John Wesley. He turned his fervor away from pamphlet flame wars or revival preaching, but towards tenderhearted soul care for the distressed and depressed as they struggled to find greater spiritual freedom and transformation. These pages invite readers not only to understand Newton’s insights, but to experience the living reality of grace in their own lives.
If this book makes you want to read more John Newton, and you do not mind the old English, buy the Logos Bible Software Edition of his Works or a paper version.
The Traitor Within: Understanding and Healing Our Deceitful Hearts
By Adrian Warnock with a chapter by John Newton
Pre-order here
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” (Jeremiah 17:9, NLT).
And yet our culture tells us to “follow your heart”. No wonder it too is now desperately sick and beyond cure. This book will explore the cultural phenomenon The Traitors as a modern parable as it unmasks the human heart.
Adrian blends his medical insights gained from his work as a doctor and psychiatrist with pastoral wisdom gathered from twenty-five years serving as part of a church leadership team. He witnessed a period of church growth from less than twenty members to thousands.
In recent years Adrian has also experienced chronic illness following his diagnosis with blood cancer, and this book reflects his passion to help others face all kinds of suffering with hope and compassion.
Preview the content here:
→ TV’s The Traitors: Spellbound by Lies
→ How Suffering Revealed What Was in My Heart
→ When Your Body Lies to You: False Messages and Appetites
→ Help when Life Hurts: dealing with specific challenges
More coming in 2026: subscribe or follow on social media
→ Healing Your Body: Practical Tools
→ Follow Your Heart? Not When Your Mind Is Lying to You
→ Healing Your Mind: Taking Every Thought Captive
→ How Lies Create Our Desperately Sick Society
→ Healing Our Broken Society: Work, Friends, and Family
→ Our Deceitful Spirits: Without Hope and without God
→ Healing Your Spirit – Meaning and Religion
→ Forgiven in a Moment. Renewed Over a Lifetime. Glorified for Eternity.
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