How Kind Are You?

Step #1: Say nothing negative about your person

The first step in the Challenge is to say nothing negative to or about your person. Sounds simple, right? Um… not really.

It is so easy to say negative things without ever realizing it, because frankly, people are often our biggest source of irritation! Whether it is your husband forgetting to put his laundry in the basket – again! – your child leaving their bike out, or your girlfriend taking your text totally out of context and ghosting you, people frustrate us. The downside is that we can develop a sneaky focus on the negatives, where our mind becomes more attuned to those things than we realize.

So whether you complain to your husband directly about the aforementioned laundry, or say nothing at the time but instead run him through the wringer to your co-workers the next day, the effect is the same. We have bought into the myth that venting or letting off a little steam is a good thing. However, neurologically, the truth is exactly the opposite! (Read more about that in this blog.) As we share our frustration, we actually sabotage how we feel about that person.

We identified seven distinct patterns of negativity and unkindness that we unpack in the book, The Kindness Challenge. Which one applies to you?